


You're Gonna Feel It Later

by MizErie



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Canon, Frerard, Graphic Sex, Love, M/M, Marriage, Suicide Attempt, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-03
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-02 23:58:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 63
Words: 62,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizErie/pseuds/MizErie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>After losing control of himself and kissing Frank, Gee tries to resist Frank’s advances. Deep inside, though, he longs for what his heart knows only Frank can offer him: true love.</p><p>(This is the first fanfic I ever wrote. I had no intention of posting it when I wrote it. At times, it's totally cringe worthy. But even so, it's a good story.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Kiss Your Lips Again

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with My Chemical Romance or the guys that make up the band. No part of this is true; it purely a fictional story. Any part of this story that resembles real life is only coincidental. No parts of this story may be reproduced or used without permission.
> 
> Chapter titles are generously provided by My Chemical Romance lyrics from the "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" and "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" albums, as this is the time frame for this particular fic. (Unfortuately, I eventually stopped naming the chapters though; I'll see what I can do about correcting that problem.)

 Gee paces in his hotel room. He wants to set the record straight, but should he? Would things be better off unspoken? After all it was just a kiss. Oh, but it was more than just a kiss. He wasn’t even sure what had come over him. He was wrapped up in the energy of the show, wrapped up in the lyrics of kissing another man’s lips. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Frank looking at him. A sudden rush of passion had filled Gee, and he kissed him. And not just a peck. Frank had just stood there.  Gee quickly dashes into the hallway; he has to say something.

 As he forces himself to take each step, he’s not sure what to say, if Frank will even open the door. Suddenly he realizes he is standing in front of Frank’s door. He knocks on the door, feeling like a schoolboy about to be punished.

 “Frankie, it’s me, Gee,” he calls out.

 The seconds ticking by seem like an eternity. The door finally opens, but Frank is already heading back into the room. He sits down on the far side of the bed, his back to Gee.

 “Look, man, tonight…” Gee’s voice breaks. “I don’t know what came over me.”

 Frank’s gaze drops from the window to his hands. He begins tracing one of the E’s inked on his fingers. A flash of panic sinks in Gee’s gut. He wants to run; he knows he was wrong.

 “I just wanted to apologize. I mean, um, I know…” his voice cracks and breaks. He clears his throat and tries to continue, “Frankie, what happened back there…”

 His thought process is interrupted by Frank standing up. Gee watches Frank in his peripherals, afraid to make eye contact. But something about Frank’s body language begins to put Gee at ease. He takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze upwards. Frank is now standing right in front of him, looking up at Gee slightly. As they make eye contact, Frank reaches up and puts his hand on the side of Gee’s face. Instantly, waves of adrenaline course through Gee’s veins.

 “What took you so long?” Frank half whispers.

 Suddenly Gee understands. He understands why Frank had just stood there on stage. He understands the look now on Frank’s face, the sensation Frank’s hand on his cheek has caused. The abrupt clarity makes Gee want again to run away, and his body subconsciously follows the lead, turning away from Frank. Before Gee can turn away, Frank other hand catches Gee’s wrist, coercing Gee’s body to stay where it is.

 “Look, I figured since you made the first move,” Frank hesitates, “I’d show you where I stood on things.” Again, Frank pauses, not wanting to provoke the situation too much. “If you just want to forget it happened, we can just go back to the way things were. Or…” Frank’s voice trails off.

 Slowly, he lifts his heels off the floor, somewhat compensating for the height difference. Frank leans in, just allowing their lower lips to touch. Gee can’t control himself; he leans into Frank, sealing the kiss. This time, though, Gee is more aware of the sensations. First the warmth of Frank’s lip-ring, then the warmth of Frank’s lips themselves. He can smell the musk of Frank’s sweat mixed with the smoke of the show’s pyros. As their lips begin to part, Gee opens his eyes, looking right into Frank’s. He can see the restrained desire in Frank’s eyes, in his whole expression.

 “I somehow thought you’d take the ‘or’,” Frank says, almost giggling. He turns to walk away, giving Gee a moment to process what has just happened. Again. But the moment is interrupted by a thunderous knock on the door.

 “Frank,” yells Mikey through the door, “Frank, have you seen Gerard? Is he in there?”

 Quickly, Frank whispers in Gee’s ear, “You’re pale as a ghost. Go in there and let me get rid of him.” He nudges Gee towards the bathroom,and turns his attention to the door. Still trying to completely comprehend the last few minutes, Gee heads to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

 Gee stands in front of the mirror, his hands and arms propping him up on the counter. He can hear Mikey and Frank’s conversation.

 “Have you seen my brother?” Mikey asks, sounding a bit exasperated. “He’s not in his room.”

 “Naw, man.”

 “Frank, don’t take what he did tonight… just… forget it happened, okay? I think he might be drunk again. I’m just tryin’ to find him so I can make sure he’s alright.” Mikey sounds somewhat worried.

 “I’m sure he’s fine,” Frank says, trying to reassure Mikey. “You know better than anyone he likes to make a spectacle of himself sometimes. I saw him after the show in the hall; he seemed fine,” Frank lies, continuing to try and smooth out the situation. “I don’t think he was too drunk tonight, but he’s probably passed out on his bed. Just let him sleep it off, like always.”

 “If you think so,” Mikey doesn’t sound completely convinced. “I’ll see you in the mornin’.”

 “Night,” Frank calls out as he shuts the door. Gee slowly emerges from the bathroom door. Frank walks towards the bed, sitting in the same place as before. He motions for Gee to come sit beside him. Gee lingers in the doorway for a moment then sits down next to Frank. Frank put his hand on Gee’s thigh.

 “Man, listen. If this turns into something, great! If not, the crowd got their money’s worth tonight. I’m good with just letting things happen.” He flashes a half smile at Gee, then settles back onto the bed, flipping on the TV. Gee pauses for a minute, relieved and somewhat amused. He looks over his shoulder at Frank. _He is truly a remarkable friend_ , Gee thinks to himself. Frank glances over and flashes a big silly grin at Gee. Gee climbs up beside Frank, adjusting the pillows to sit up on the bed with him.

 “In the mood for some ‘Masters of Horror’?” Frank asks, like nothing had happened.

 “Of course!” Gee smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first fanfic I ever wrote. It's not horrible, but I have gotten much better at writing since I wrote this (or at least, I hope I have). But please, still enjoy! I am rather fond of it myself!


	2. And I Wish You Away

 The next morning, Gee awakes slightly unsure of where he is. Trying to focus his eyes, he looks around the room. The TV is flickering some low budget horror movie. Suddenly, it all rushes back to him. The kiss, Frank, their conversation, the second kiss. His body jerks at the memory, causing Frank to stir a little. _Shit, Frank_ , Gee thinks. He doesn’t remember falling asleep the night before. And in Frank’s bed. Gee turns to look at Frank and assess the situation, trying to see if he can make a quiet escape.  _Good_ , Gee thinks. Only Frank’s hand is touching him, resting softly on his shoulder. He starts to slide off the bed slowly.

 “Get me some coffee,” Frank mumbles, stirring from sleep.

 “Huh... what? Oh... you want it black?” Gee stammers back, trying to sound calm.

 “Yeah, whatever’s fine. What time is it?” Frank says through a stretch, blinking his eyes in sunlight.

 “Almost eleven. I’ll be back.” Gee walks towards the door as he responds, every fiber of his being wanting to escape. He grabs the door handle, realizing as he does his hand is trembling. He pulls the door open, darting quickly into the hallway, and pulling the door closed behind him even quicker.

 Gee just stands there for a minute. _Oh my God, Oh my God_ , he thinks over and over. _What have I done?_ He begins walking towards the lobby, only half aware of his surroundings. He knows the coffee shop is just past it, but his mind is preoccupied with other thoughts. He had been drinking the night before, so he wonders how much of his memory he can really trust. And a drink, yeah, a drink would be nice. He suddenly remembers Frank wanted some coffee.

 At the coffee shop, Gee curtly orders two coffees. He is still lost in thought while waiting for the coffees when he hears a voice from behind him.

 “Gerard. Gerard!” the voice interrupts his thoughts. Gee shakes his head a little, looking around for the voice and finding it. “Gerard, what the fuck, man?” Mikey questions, barely audible through his clenched teeth. “What the hell, kissin’ Frank like that? And where did you disappear to last night? Answer me!”

 “It’s hard to answer you when you ask question after question without pausing between them,” Gee sneers back. “And what are you, my keeper?”

 “No, but somebody’s gotta clean up your messes, and it never seems to be you. And now you went and pulled Frankie into the fire with you! You got no right...”

 “Sir, your coffees,” the barista interrupts.

 Gee turns and scoops up the cups. As he turns back to leave, Mikey looks at the two coffees and steps in Gee’s path. His eyes are dark, nearly filled with rage.

 “Don’t you dare go find him. Don’t you dare make this worse, Gerard!” he mutters, once again through clinched teeth.

 “He _asked_ me to bring him some coffee,” Gee says, forgetting Frank had lied to Mikey last night.

 Mikey’s face shifts from anger to panic. “No... you didn’t... Gerard, please tell me...”

 “I don’t think that’s your business, any of it... but if it helps you any, no I didn’t,” Gee snaps back in an amused tone. He’s not quite sure what Mikey thought he had done, but right now he only cared about getting a drink. He steps around Mikey and walks out of the coffee shop.

 On his way back to Frank’s room, Gee makes a stop at his. Making sure the door is closed behind him, he rifles through the mini-bar full of empty bottles looking for something he can pour in his coffee. He finally locates a bottle of Jack, pouring it into the cup and nearly overflowing it. His only concern is getting some alcohol in his system, not how well it will taste. Gee snaps the lid back on the cup and lifts it to his lips. He turns the cup up, practically gulping down the first half of coffee. The familiar burn of the alcohol going down his throat immediately begins to calm Gee down, even though he is again thinking about the events of the last 24 hours. He walks back out of his room, heading to take Frank his requested coffee.

 Once at Frank’s door, he tries to knock still holding the coffees. The door cracks open just slightly. Hesitant, Gee steps into the room, half pushing at the door behind him. The bathroom door is half open. Gee can see Frank is standing in front of the mirror, which is now misty, wearing only his low cut jeans. He wants to look away, knowing he should say something to let Frank know he is back, but he's unable to. He notices a drop of water from Frank’s recent shower slide down the side of Frank’s bare arm. He’s never before noticed the slightly defined muscles Frank has beneath the tattoos. Gee’s eyes wonder over to Frank’s back and notices it too has the same muscle definition. He just stands there, rapt in the movement of Frank’s muscles.

 “You been in here long?” Frank’s voice cuts into Gee’s thoughts. Gee realizes Frank had left the bathroom and is now standing in the room with him. Frank had to have seen Gee looking.


	3. Let Me Break This Awkward Silence

Frank watches Gee looking at him for a moment before breaking the silence. He has always wanted Gee, but Gee has never known of Frank’s attraction to men, and especially to him.  
  
“You been in here long?”  
  
Startled by Frank’s voice, Gee’s gaze immediately shifts up to meet Frank’s.  
  
“Here’s your coffee,” Gee stammers, handing Frank the cup that is still full. “Mikey was in the café. He seemed rather pissed. I probably shouldn’t stay in here too long. I don’t know what he thinks I would do, though.”  
  
“What’d he say?” Frank asks, afraid Mikey might have given away his secret.  
  
“Somethin’ about me telling him I didn’t do somethin’. I really wasn’t listenin’,” Gee replies nearly sarcastically, waving his hand dismissively. “I think he thought I would piss you off or something.”  
  
“Oh.” _That’s not it; he knows me_ , Frank thinks to himself. _And Mikey knows Gee's kiss wouldn’t piss me off._ “Maybe we should go out for a while, in case Mikey comes lookin’ for either of us,” suggests Frank, hoping Gee’s mental state would encourage him to accept.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I’m not in the mood to deal with him anymore right now.”  
  
“Good thing we’re on the first floor,” Frank half jokes, grabbing a t-shirt from his duffle bag and pulling it over his head. “We can slide out the patio unseen.”  
  
Both head towards the sliding glass door leading to the patio. Gee cautiously looks out before stepping out. Frank understands his caution, after Gee’s first encounter with his brother this morning. Deep inside, Frank knows he should tell Gee the truth, or at least part of it; he should keep his desire for Gee to himself until Gee has gotten past the shock of his own behavior. Obviously, Gee has never thought of Frank in that way. But Frank aims to change all that.  
  
They both get into Frank’s car. Neither has spoken since inside the room. Frank turns the key in the ignition, breaking the silence between them.  
  
“Where should we go?” Frank asks, more to himself than Gee.  
  
“Somewhere sorta quiet. I’m a little hung-over. And my head’s poundin’ right now.” Gee is oblivious to the rhetoric in Frank’s question.  
  
“You hungry?”  
  
“A little.”  
  
“Let’s find somewhere to grab a bite. I’m starvin’.”  
  
Frank backs out of the parking space. He pulls up to the street, stops for a second, then turns out onto it. Frank wonders what Gee is thinking about. He is staring out the car window into oblivion, off in his own little world. Frank can see Gee’s lips moving just slightly, like he is trying to ask something, but didn’t know how. _That’s so adorable_ , Frank thinks to himself, turning his attention back to the street.  
  
“What do you think Mikey meant? I mean, I’ve always done dumb shit, so what do you think he was so scared I’d do, Frank?” Gee's words seem heavy. To Frank, it is obvious this is as good of an opportunity as he’ll get to tell Gee about his attraction to other men.  
  
“Mikey knows something about me a lot of people don’t know, Gerard.” His given name pulls Gee’s attention back into the car; he shifts his attention to Frank, looking slightly puzzled. Seeing Gee’s expression, Frank tries to explain, “You have to remember, Mikey and I were friends before the band. I have a secret, Gerard, and Mikey knows that secret.” Gee continues to look at Frank confused. “Listen, you remember what I sorta asked you last night?” By the look on Gee’s face, Frank can see he’s struggling to remember. “I asked you ‘what took you so long?’”  
  
“I thought you were jokin’...” Gee voice trails off a little.  
  
“I like women _and_ men, Gerard. I have for a while.” Frank pauses for this new information to settle into Gee. Suddenly, a flash of lightning crosses Gee’s face.  
  
“So...”  
  
“Yeah. Mikey thought you had fucked me.” Gee shifts his gaze back out the window of the car. Frank drives on for a several miles, just letting him think. “You want me to take you back or somethin’?”  
  
Gee sits silent for a moment longer, then seems almost relieved by this new information. “What about that bite to eat?”  
  
Frank smirks to himself. _Gee took that better than I thought he would._


	4. He's Always Looking at Men

They pull into a parking lot for a small sandwich shop. “This okay? I know you said you were a little hungover,” Frank asks pulling into a parking space.  
  
“Uh, yeah.” Gee could care less what they eat. Knowing Frank likes men makes some things clearer to him.  
  
Frank switches the engine off, and both get out the car. Gee follows Frank towards the door, subconsciously admiring his small frame, remembering the sight of Frank freshly showered from earlier and the rush of adrenaline Frank’s touch had cause the previous night. A small shiver runs down his spine. They enter the shop, and Frank heads towards a booth in a back corner, certain Gee will want to discuss all of this further. They take a seat, and, when the waitress comes over, both order a sandwich and soda.  
  
Frank watches Gee, as if trying to read his thoughts. He is staring down at a napkin he’s twisting in his fingers. Frank is consciously aware of Gee’s scent, a mix of last night’s alcohol, sweat, and the show. He can feel his body beginning to react ever so slightly. Slowly aware of Frank’s gaze, Gee makes eye contact.  
  
“You okay?” Franks asks cautiously.  
  
“Why didn’t you say somethin’ before now? Hell, I don’t care who you fuck.”  
  
“Just never came up, I guess.” Gee shifts his gaze back down to the napkin. He sits there silent, his mouth once again moving like he’s trying to say something but can’t find the words. Finally, he speaks, never looking back up.  
  
“What about last night?”  
  
“What about it?”  
  
“We didn’t... I didn’t... fuck you... did I? I mean, bein’ honest, I was drunk.”  
  
“Nah, we talked a little and watched some “Masters of Horror’.”  
  
“I remember kissin’ you again...” Gee stops himself before admitting he remembered liking it too.  
  
“And?” Frank asks, as if reading Gee’s thoughts.  
  
A slight smirk crosses Gee’s lips, answering Frank’s question without words. Frank resists but is unable to stop himself from grinning back.  
  
“I could do it again,” Gee admits. His eyes are drawn to Frank lips for only a second, then distracted by movement in the sandwich shop. The conversation is briefly interrupted by the waitress bringing their sandwiches and drinks. Both thank her politely, but neither of them is really interested in the food anymore.  
  
“You ever been with another man?” Frank asks Gee suggestively.  
  
Gee can read the look in Frank’s eyes. He knows what Frank wants, and, surprising himself, he wants it, too. Gee shakes his head no, pauses hesitantly, and then responds with the only thing he can think of, “Let’s hurry up and get back to the hotel.”  
  
Frank’s faded smile brightens back up. He is finally going to have Gee.  
  
They eat rather quickly, the only conversation in the occasional glances to each other. Gee can’t stop himself from remembering yet again the look of Frank’s muscles flexing under his ink with his movement this morning. Another rush of adrenaline floods Gee’s veins, causing him to shudder ever so slightly. Frank stands up from the table, as if taking cues from Gee’s body, tossing some money on top of the check.  
  
“You ready?” he asks Gee. Gee is already standing up from the table, too.  
  
“Let’s go.”  
  
The car ride back to the hotel seems to be taking forever. Frank’s skin is crawling with anticipation. He can feel every hair on his body standing up on end. He has dreamed of being with Gee for a while, but he is aware he must be cautious and not come on to strong. He doesn’t know how far Gee will let this go. At the same time, he can’t stop himself from stealing glances of Gee.  
  
Gee is once again staring out the window. This time, there is an air of nervousness surrounding him. Intellectually, Gee knows he likes women, but subconsciously he can hardly control these new desires toward Frank. He feels like he would let Frank have him right here right now.  
  
As the car rounds a curve, the hotel becomes visible right in front of them. Gee glances at it, then to Frank. Frank returns the glance, quickly returning his eyes to the road. A smile creeps across his lips. Soon, they will do what Mikey fears has already been done.


	5. Hello Angel

Gee has barely gotten the door shut when Frank’s lips meet his. The sensation causes Gee’s body to tremble. He can feel Frank’s lips curl up into a smile in response. His hands move up to pull Frank’s shirt over his head, as if acting by themselves. Frank breaks the kiss to allow his shirt to be pulled off, then follows suit with Gee’s. Once his shirt is off, Frank grabs Gee’s hand, pulling him towards the bed and pushing him down on it. He straddles Gee’s lap and kisses him again, this time letting go of some of his previous restrain, forcing Gee’s back down onto the bed. Teasingly, Frank runs his tongue over Gee’s lips, not quite entering his mouth.  
  
He pauses, barely breaking the kiss. “You ready for this?”  
  
All Gee can do is try to focus his eyes on Frank’s. His body is still trembling, and his eyes keep rolling up in his head. He can’t remember ever being this aroused. If Frank doesn’t do something soon, Gee fears he’ll have to start stroking himself.  
  
Frank knows Gee is on the edge of insanity. He unbuttons Gee’s pants, pulling them and his boxers off. He reaches his hand over and cups Gee’s balls, gentle rolling them in his hand. A small moan escapes Gee lips, forcing a smile on the corner of Frank’s. Without warning, Frank slides his mouth over the head of Gee’s throbbing member. Another moan escapes from Gee. Frank slowly starts to slide his mouth up and down. Gee’s body tenses, and he grabs a handful of the comforter beneath him while the other hand pushes Frank’s head down further. Frank moves his head up and down a couple more times, then uses his tongue to trace around the head of Gee’s length, licking up the precum now flowing freely from it.  
  
“Holy shi...” Gee mutters, barely able to form words.  
  
Frank thrusts his mouth back down, taking in all of Gee, then sucks hard on his manhood, as if trying to suck the semen from his body. The change in sensation causes Gee to arch his back. He wants to cum, and Frank knows it. Frank begins moving his head up and down again, maintaining some of the suction.  
  
Gee begins moaning uncontrollably. “Oh... my God... Frank... Oh, shit... ple-please... Frank...”  
  
Gee’s words add fuel to the fire in Frank’s own body. He thrusts faster, using his tongue to trace the line on the underside of Gee’s entire length. Suddenly Gee arches his back again, his man juices forcing its way into Frank’s mouth. Frank swallows it then uses his tongue to clean up the little dribble that had escaped his mouth. Gee’s body goes limp on the bed, panting heavily. His eyelids are barely closed around his rolled up eyes.  
  
Frank gets up from the bed to grab a hand towel from the bathroom, wiping his face as he comes back towards the bed. He lies down beside Gee, kissing him again. Gee can taste the remnants of his own juice in Frank’s mouth, which begins to turn him on again.  
  
“You like that?” Frank asks him through a seductive smile.  
  
“Oh, yeah...”  
  
“Now it’s my turn. You get to please me...” Frank trails off, the unrestrained desire clear in his voice.  
  
Gee sits up on the bed, preparing to mimic Frank’s recent actions.  
  
“Nah-ah...” Frank says, sitting up and opening a drawer in the nightstand next to the bed. He reaches in and pulls out a bottle of lubricant. “...on your back.” A small pang of fear enters Gee’s gut, showing plainly on his face. “I promise, I won’t hurt you... much,” Frank whispers to him.  
  
But even without Frank’s reassurance, the fear in Gee has already begun to melt into want. He follows the direction from Frank, watching Frank’s expression of approval as he does. Frank opens the bottle of lubricant, squeezing some out on his fingertips. Rubbing his fingertips together just slightly, Frank positions himself between Gee’s legs, then resting one hand on a thigh. Gee doesn’t resist as Frank presses two fingers inside of him, preparing Gee for what’s to come. After only a moment, Frank withdraws his fingers and reaches for the bottle of lubricant again. He knows Gee isn’t quite ready to be penetrated yet, but he can no longer stop himself. He squeezes more onto his fingers, rubbing it all over his painful stiffness, then Gee’s entrance. He grabs the towel he had retrieved from the bathroom a few minutes ago, wiping the remaining lubricant off his hands.  
  
Gee can see Frank has let loose all his inhibitions. Another wave of fear catches Gee’s breath. Frank checks his positioning, and then leans over to be face to face with Gee. Frank kisses him hard, this time letting his tongue explore his for just a moment. He breaks the kiss and places his lips next to Gee’s ear, wrapping a reassuring arm around the top of Gee’s head.  
  
“It’ll only hurt a minute, I promise,” Frank whispers then kisses him once more on his cheek. With that Frank moves quickly, pressing the head of his member against Gee, pushing himself nearly all the way inside of Gee’s warmth.  
  
“Aahh,” Gee whimpers in pain; his eyes shut tightly. Frank leans back over him again, kissing him ever so softly, as to kiss away the pain, and waiting for Gee’s body to adapt to the sudden change. As Gee’s muscles begin to relax, Frank slowly starts moving his hips, again allowing Gee to adjust. As he begins to speed up, he can feel Gee begin to thrust back against him. _He likes it_ , Frank feels pleased.  
  
“Faster... harder...” Gee gasps between breaths.  
  
Frank slows for a moment. “You sure? You’re gonna feel it later.”  
  
“Just do it... please, just do it!” The desperation in his voice makes Frank’s muscles tense, and he grins deviously.  
  
“If you say so...” Frank says as he begins thrusting harder and faster. Gee inhales sharply, with a mix of pain and pleasure. Frank giggles just slightly and licks Gee’s nipple, drawing another sharp breath from Gee. At that sound, Frank is unable to control himself any further. He grabs both of Gee’s hips, thrusting deeply in and out of Gee repeatedly. A small moan slips past Frank’s lips. Without warning, Frank arches his back, burying himself deep inside the warmth, releasing his ecstasy inside of Gee.  
  
Frank collapses on top of Gee’s chest, both of their chests heaving heavily. Frank’s head is light from withholding his pleasure for so long. _Finally, finally, I had him_ , he thinks contently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May 28, 2013: I just read this for the first time in... oh god, a LONG time. This is HORRIBLE! "Member"? "Man juices?" Oh my god, just drown me now. Why do I leave this posted?!


	6. Will It Wash Away This Jet Black Now?

“You might wanna grab a quick shower. We’ll be headin’ back home soon,” Frank says, trying to get Gee moving. Gee is still just lying on the bed, breathing still slightly erratic. A thousand thoughts are running through his mind. _Did that really just happen? What have I done? Does this change things between me and Frank? What if the guys find out? Why did I enjoy that so much? This can’t be real; I’m drunk. I want to do that again..._  
  
“Gee, did you hear me?” Frank asked, sitting back down on the bed facing him. Gee turns his gaze towards Frank. Frank can see the mix of emotions flooding Gee’s thoughts. He sweeps Gee’s sweat-drenched hair from his forehead, kissing it softly. “I’m gonna jump in the shower again. You need t’ think about doin’ the same.” Gee nods his head, mentally unable to say anything. Frank smiles, somewhat amused. “And pack your stuff so we can head out.”  
  
Frank jumps up off the bed and walks into the bathroom. Gee hears the shower start running. He looks around for Frank, but he had shut the door completely behind him. Slowly Gee pulls himself up and slides his legs over the side of the bed. His body continuing to tremble with the same mix of pain and pleasure, and even a little from the immense emotions he’s feeling. He drags himself up off the bed. As he turns to leave, he notices spots of bright red on the sheets but doesn’t give it much thought.  
  
He grabs his clothes, quickly throwing his jeans and boxers on. Something inside of him is telling him he needs to get out of there before Frank gets out of the shower. Still fighting with his shirt, Gee pulls the door open and steps out into the hall.  
  
“Gerard,” a voice calls. Gee freezes in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head, an overwhelming fear knotting his stomach. “Gerard,” the voice calls again. He can hear the calm in the voice, so he knows it’s not his brother. Pulling his shirt on over his head and down where it belongs, he tries to keep his emotions from showing on his face. In front of him, Ray is holding his bags, an almost smug grin on his face. Gee is aware he’s been caught, but tries not to act as if anything had happened in the closed room behind him.  
  
“You ‘bout ready to go, I see,” he tries to sound calm but fails miserably at it.  
  
“Frank finally gotcha, huh?” Ray’s tone showing his amusement. “He’s wanted you for a while.” Gee shifts, uncomfortable in this conversation. Ray chuckles softly, “Look, man, I don’t care what ya’ do, as long as it doesn’t include me or the band. But you might wanna get away from his door and cleaned up before your brother finds you here like this.” Ray flashes a grin at Gee. “You reek of ‘Eau de Frank’,” Ray jokes as he walks on down the hall.  
  
The mention of Mikey causes Gee to remember their run in this morning. He quickly glances back and forth down the hall, then dashes for his room. He slides into the room, shutting the door, and leaning back on it. He is relieved to have been caught by Ray instead of Mikey. He looks around the room. He needs a drink, a strong one. He had used the last of the alcohol from the mini-bar this morning. He goes for his duffle bag. He always keeps something in there, just for this sort of occasion. Well, emergency. Finally, under his crumpled clothes he finds his hidden bottle of Jack. He unscrews the lid, dropping it on the floor. He looks at the bottle, wishing he didn’t have to drink it. But his body needs it. He doesn’t even bother with a cup. He turns the bottle up, filling his mouth with the warm liquid and swallowing it by the mouthful. He stops for a second to breathe. Again, the alcohol burn calms him just slightly.  
  
He grabs the cleanest clothes he can find in his bag and heads for the bathroom, still clutching the bottle tightly. Frank and Ray had told him he needed a shower, so perhaps he should take one. He reaches in the shower and turns the water on to warm up a little. He looks down at the bottle. For as much as he tells himself no, his hand doesn’t listen, bringing the bottle up to his lips, drinking more just the same as a moment ago. As he lowers the bottle, he realizes he has drank nearly three quarters of the bottle, then drops it with a loud thud as the glass bottle collides with the tile floor. He climbs into the shower with his chest towards the water, enjoying the warmth of the water relaxing his muscles. He turns around to let the water flow over his back.  
  
Suddenly the relaxation of the water is replaced by a searing, burning pain. Gee’s mind flashes back to Frank’s body leaning over him, the enormity of Frank’s cock inside of him, Frank’s reassuring words and gentle kisses trying to make the pain better. He leans out of the shower, the alcohol beginning to take full effect. He staggers, nearly falling out of the shower trying to reach the bottle of Jack on the floor. He finally reaches it, turning up the bottle to finish it off, actually getting some of it down his throat. He feels it begin to pour down his chin, then all he sees is darkness...


	7. A Stain The Never Comes Off the Sheets

Frank grabs a clean towel off the rack, drying off as he steps out of the shower. He tries to listen for Gee moving in the room, but all he hears is silence. He wraps the towel around his waist and walks out of the bathroom. Gee is nowhere to be found. Without another thought, he grabs some clean clothes from his bag and throws them on. He notices the bright red spots on the sheets. _I hope Gee’s not hurt too much._  
  
He grabs his bag and crumpled clothes from the floor where they had been tossed haphazardly earlier. He shoves them into the bag. He looks around the room, surveying what else he needs to pack. Most of his belongings are already packed up. He grabs the towel and his toiletries bag, walking back into the bathroom. He neatly places the towel back on the towel rack then tosses his things into the bag. He walks back out of the bathroom and spots the bottle of lube on the floor. A small smirk crosses his lips. He shoves it into the bag, turning towards his suitcase to put the bag away.  
  
“Frank! Frank!” A voice shouts through the door as the person on the other side bangs loudly. “Frank, open the damn door... now!” Frank knows who the voice belongs to. And Mikey is livid.  
  
“I’m coming,” Frank answers, tossing the toiletries bag on the bed and heading towards the door. As soon as he turns the handle, Mikey bursts through the door, pushing his way into the room.  
  
“Where is he, Frank? Where?” Mikey looks around the room for Gee.  
  
“He’s not in here. He left a while ago.” Mikey walks over and looks into the dark bathroom.  
  
“Don’t lie to me again, Frank. I know he was in here last light when I talked to you! He’s not answering his door still. I’ve been banging on it for half an hour!”  
  
“Seriously, Mikey, he’s not here.” Frank hopes Mikey doesn’t notice the blood, now drying on the sheets.  
  
“What happened between you?” Both of them stand there for just a second. “Please don’t tell me you fucked him, Frank,” Mikey says almost like he doesn’t want an answer to his question.  
  
“We have to go find him, Mikey. Just trust me, we have to find ...” Frank’s voice trails off, afraid of the thoughts trying to surface in his mind.  
  
“Frank,” Mikey grabs his shoulders with both hands, “look at me. You can’t do this, Frank. He has an addictive personality. Once he starts you, you’ll be just another drug to him. You hear me, Frank?”  
  
Frank nods, making eye contact with Mikey. Mikey can see panic and fear in Frank’s eyes, unsure whether it’s because Frank had already had Gee or because Gee was missing. Or both.  
  
“I can handle him, Mikey. You’re not the only one who cares about him! Now stop wasting time! We need to go find him!”  
  
After exchanging glances once more, both of them turn, running out of the room.  
  
“Let’s try his room once more before we go anywhere else,” Franks says anxiously. He knows Gee’s in there, but he’s afraid of what he’ll find behind the door.  
  
“If he were in there, he’d have opened the door already.”  
  
“Not if he’s passed out drunk...” Franks says as he begins banging on the door. “Gerard!”  
  
“Why would he be that drunk already tod—" Mikey stops mid-word. Frank cuts his eyes at him, knowing Mikey just answered his own question. He no longer cares if Mikey knows; Gee is all that matters right now to either of them.  
  
“You better... don’t you let this get away from you, Frank.” Mikey words are worried. “If... _since_ you started this, it’s your responsibility, whatever happens.”  
  
“Alright, Mikey! Right now, though, we gotta get this door open.”  
  
“Move,” Mikey orders. He kicks the door hard, damaging the frame, but not enough to open the door. He takes a deep breath and kicks the door again. This time, the door flies open. Both rush in, overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol in the room. Frank hears the shower running and enters the bathroom leaving Mikey standing in the room.  
  
“Mikey! Mikey!” yells Frank. “Mikey he’s in here! Oh my God...” Mikey hears the shock in Frank’s voice. He’s afraid to see what’s in the bathroom, but he has to help Gee.


	8. And You Can't Touch My Brother, And You Won't Fuck My Friends

Mikey runs into the bathroom. Frank is leaned over Gee, already soaked from the shower, trying to pick him up. Mikey reaches out, cutting the water off, and then bends down next to Frank. Gee is completely unconscious, lying awkwardly in the tub. A dark bruise is beginning to cover his cheekbone where his head had obviously hit the edge of the tub on his way down. He is bleeding from the back of his thigh. He had landed hard on top of the glass bottle that he had been drinking Jack from, the broken glass cutting his flesh.  
  
“Oh, Gerard, really? Drinking in the shower?” Mikey mumbles rhetorically.  
  
“It’s my fault, Mikey, it’s my fau...” Frank’s voice breaks. He tries to wipe a tear away before Mikey could see it, but it is too late. Mikey puts a hand on Frank’s shoulder, patting it lightly.  
  
“We’ve gotta get him out of here. Come on. Let’s see if we can get him to the bed.” Mikey suggests. “You grab his feet; I’ll get under his arms.” This time it was more of an order. “And be careful of the glass.”  
  
Mikey reaches down to wrap his arms around Gee, hesitating slightly at the up close sight of his brother lying naked. He grabs a towel and covers Gee’s body with it, trying to convince himself it is to offer Gee some modesty. He bends back down and wraps his arms around Gee’s torso. Carefully, he lifts him straight up out of the glass. Once cleared, Frank grabs his legs near his knees. They maneuver slowly through the bathroom and past the door frame. After making it into the open space, they move more quickly towards the bed.  
  
As they reach the bed, Frank’s small stature is struggling to carry the dead weight of Gee’s wet body any longer, and Gee’s lower half slips from his grasp. Mikey, unable to compensate for the sudden addition of weight, loses his grip too. Gee’s body lands heavily on the bed, causing the towel to shift off, but Gee doesn’t stir.  
  
“Dry ‘em off some and see if you can get some boxers or somethin’ on him. I’m gonna grab a first aid kit from the bus,” Mikey directs Frank, looking away from his once again exposed brother’s body. He turns to leave the room.  
  
“See if Ray’s out there, too. The two of us can’t get him to the bus by ourselves.” Frank calls after him, never really taking his attention off Gee’s face. Frank thinks Gee looks peaceful, finally; his expression always seems to be hiding a tortured soul. At first, Frank assumes his memory is causing his eyes to recall pain in Gee’s face.  
  
“Help me...” Gee mouths, his muscles tensing as he does.  
  
“I’m here, Gee. I’m here.” Frank draws him closely to his chest, cuddling him as best he could. _This is my fault. This is all my fault._  
  
“I... it... pain...” Gee whimpers, barely audible. A tear escapes from his eye, running down his bruised cheek. Frank remembers the glass. Gee must still have some in his leg.  
  
“Gee, this might hurt a little more, but it’s gonna make it better,” Frank tries to calm him, moving towards his thigh. He rolls Gee slightly to get a better look. Right in the middle of the largest cut, Frank could see a small piece of glass. He knows pulling it out is the best thing to do, but he also knows it’s going to hurt like hell. In his condition, Frank figures there’s no need to warn Gee what he’s about to do. He isn’t really coherent enough to understand. Frank draws in a deep breath, holding it in as he places one hand on his thigh to hold him still and the other trembling hand reaches for the piece of glass.  
  
“AAahhh,” Gee screams. Frank feels his heart stop in his throat, but he knows he has to get it. He digs a little deeper, making Gee scream out in pain again. He feels the glass shard and holds on to it with all his strength. It cuts into his fingertips, but Frank doesn’t let go, pulling it gently from its resting place in Gee’s leg.  
  
Frank lets go of Gee’s leg, still holding the piece of glass between two blood covered fingers. He drops it on the nightstand and redirects his attention back to Gee’s face. The peaceful look is beginning to settle back onto it, meaning he's slipping back into his alcohol fueled sleep. Frank gently kisses Gee’s face, as an apology for making him suffer. He collects the glass piece, dropping it in the wastebasket in the bathroom. He looks at the mixture of his and Gee’s blood on his fingers and begins washing it off.  
  
Once most of it is off, he wets a washcloth, grabs the clothes Gee had apparently brought in with him earlier and walks back into the room with him. He cautiously washes the blood off Gee’s thigh, even though the cuts are still oozing a little blood. Frank figures Mikey and possibly Ray will be back soon, so he begins putting Gee’s boxers on him. Over his feet and up his legs are fairly easy, but Frank struggles a bit over his hips. While some of the difficulty is from Gee’s body being limp, he has to stop himself from admiring Gee’s naked being, from allowing those sexual feelings to rise up in him again. _Not now_ , he tells himself, _just not right now._  
  
Frank hears Mikey and Ray coming up the hall. They enter the room and Mikey tosses the first aid kit at Frank.  
  
“Glad to see you got him covered. See what you can do about patching him up so we can get him dressed and onto the bus. He can sleep it off on the way home.” Mikey sounds a bit irritated. Ray and Frank exchange glances. Frank can see Ray knows everything. He quickly looks away and fumbles through the kit, managing to find some butterfly strips and rolled gauze.  
  
“I need somebody ta’ drive my car back. I did this; I’ll deal with it,” Frank says pathetically.  
  
“I’ll do it,” Ray volunteers, glad to not have to be in the bus for the trip home.  
  
“Thanks,” Franks answers back. He tapes down the gauze he has rolled around Gee’s wounds. “Let’s get him dressed and moved, I guess.”


	9. Give Me A Reason To Believe

Frank can feel Mikey’s eyes peering at him from across the bus every time he moves to check on Gee. Even after lying in that shower for God knows how long, he still reeks of alcohol. Frank doesn’t care. He’s always wanted more with Gee, more than just friends and band mates. He gives Mikey a look; Mikey shakes his head no, but Frank doesn’t listen. He climbs up on the bed with Gee, facing him. He curls one hand up in Gee’s, fingers intertwined. He lays there just taking him all in, listening to him breathe. Gee’s hair is all over his head, tousled from last few hours. Frank strokes it, trying to get most of it back where it belongs.  
  
“Frank, you better know what you are doing. You know how he is,” Mikey cuts into Frank’s attention.  
  
Sitting up on the bed, Frank snaps back, “I’ve already told you I can manage it. We are both grown men and we can do what we want to.” The movement of the bed and Frank’s voice stirs Gee. Still groggy, he doesn’t move. He wants to hear their conversation; he can tell something’s awry.  
  
“I’m not gonna let you fuck up a good thing we’ve all got goin’ for us! Shit, Frank, we’re actually fuckin’ going places. And we ain’t gonna keep goin’ there if the two a’ you fuck it all up, in more ways than one!”  
  
“Mikey, you know how long I’ve had a crush on him. And you know I’ll call it off if it starts affectin’ the band.”  
  
“And what about Gerard, huh? Look at him, Frank, seriously!” Mikey shouts. Frank’s eyes dart down to Gee. “He could ‘a died today, Frank! You keep saying you can ‘manage this’; what part of Gee’s life was managed today?”  
  
Frank’s face goes white. His voice is barely audible when he speaks again. “It’s my fault, Mikey, I know. I let my dick think for me. But...” He looks up at Mikey. Mikey can see the pain and regret in Frank’s eyes. “...but, I won’t do that again, if _it_ ever happens again at all.” Mikey’s expression and tone softens at Frank’s pain as Frank looks back down at Gee, sweeping a strand of hair over his forehead.  
  
“Frank, I know you love ‘em. Hell, we all do! And today wasn’t all your fault. Gee drinks. We know that. Just promise me one thing...”  
  
“I won’t hurt him. I swear, Mikey. I’ll hurt myself before I hurt him!”  
  
“No, listen. You can’t have him and not hurt him. That’s just how life works. Promise me this, though. Promise me you’ll leave him better than you found him. Can you do that?”  
  
Frank looks back at Mikey. He’s looking for sincerity, compassion, anything. Just a sign that Mikey is really giving his approval.  
  
“Fuckin’ promise the bitch, Frankie, so he’ll shut up,” Gee finally speaks up, sounding like he looks, worse for the wear.  
  
“Gee,” both Frank and Mikey say simultaneously. Frank leans down beside him from his seat on the bed, and Mikey moves right over behind Frank on the bed.  
  
“You girls make me sound like a cluster-fuck!”  
  
“Ah, he’s gonna be fine,” Mikey smirks. “There’s the same ol’ Gee comin’ out.” Mikey stands up, patting Frank on the shoulder. He leans over and whispers in Frank’s ear, “I think you might need some time to talk about things, don’t ya’?” From his tone, Frank knows Mikey isn’t looking for an answer.  
  
Mikey walks over to the table and sits down. He grabs his mp3 and puts the earbuds in, blasting the music so loud Frank could hear the din from it ever so quietly from across the bus.  
  
“You alright?” Frank kind of chuckles, coupled with a sigh of relief. “I mean, obviously you’re pretty beat up, but otherwise...” Gee’s eyes are still real heavy.  
  
“I feel like I was hit by a truck.” Gee tries to smile, but a look of pain crosses his face.  
  
“You hit your face when you fell.”  
  
“Fell?!” Gee pauses; his expression looks as if he’s trying to remember. “Frank, I don’t remember what happened,” Gee admits, sounding as if it took all he had inside to say the words aloud.  
  
“I can only tell you what I know. I left you on the bed to get a shower. When I came back out you were gone. I started packin’ things up when Mikey came lookin’ for you. He said you weren’t in your room, but I knew better after what had happened between us. So, we broke the door in to get inside the room. I found you passed out in the shower, lyin’ on a broken liquor bottle. By the look of your face,” Frank gently rubs his fingers over Gee’s cheek, “you hit your face when you passed out.”  
  
“How’d you get me out?”  
  
“I didn’t do it alone. Mikey helped me get you out of the shower. And it took all three of us to get you on the bus.”  
  
“So he knows?” Gee’s voice sounding as if it were half a question and half a statement.  
  
“Yeah, Gee. He knows.” Gee stares off into nothing for a minute. Finally, he seems to come back.  
  
“I remember feelin’ kinda panic-y and lookin’ for a drink, then findin’ one. But that’s it...” Gee sounds distraught.  
  
“It’s my fault, Gee. I shouldn’t a'... I-I shoulda took things more... more slowly, I guess.” Frank stammers out, trying to apologize. Gee reaches out and takes his hand, softly kissing the backs of his fingers.  
  
“Hey,” Gee says, tugging gently on Frank’s hand. Frank looks up at Gee, actually looking Gee in the eyes for first time since they started talking. “I coulda stopped it just as much as you. I really wanted it, Frankie. So don’t do that, don’t say that to me...” Gee’s words are beginning to slur again. Frank knows he has used up all his energy and rest is what he needs.  
  
“Shh, just sleep, Gee.” Frank strokes his hair. Gee closes his eyes.  
  
“Hey, Frank?”  
  
“Yeah, Gee?”  
  
“You were right.”  
  
“’Bout what?”  
  
“I do feel it later.” Frank giggles at Gee. He snuggles into Frank a little closer, wincing a little, and then quickly falls asleep. Frank continues to stroke his hair. Out of his peripherals, he sees Mikey looking at him. He raises his gaze to meet his. Mikey just smiles. Relief completely washes over Frank, and he smiles back.  
  
Eventually, Frank succumbs to sleep holding tightly to Gee, his hand still buried in Gee’s hair. Mikey watches them sleep for a while, hoping Frank really can handle Gee and help him get better. He walks across the bus, covering them up with a blanket. He flips off the light and heads for a bunk himself.


	10. This Riddle of Revenge

“Frank. Frank.” His name and the gentle shaking of his shoulder rouses him from his sleep. Frank can see the sun rising over familiar structures outside the bus. He must have slept through the whole night.  
  
“We’re almost home,” Mikey says, drawing more consciousness into Frank’s mind. Frank looks down. The spot Gee had been occupying is empty, leaving only the scent of his sweat and the impression of his head in the pillow as evidence he had been there.  
  
“Where’s Gee?” Frank’s voice sounds close to panic. “He alright?”  
  
“He’s fine. He wanted a shower to wash off the remnants of his cold sweat from sobering up.”  
  
Frank sighs heavily, trying to calm himself from the sudden rush of panic seconds ago. The bus pulls to a stop in the parking lot of the label’s production office. Just then, Gee emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He heads towards the area Frank and Mikey are in. Frank eagerly gets up to greet him.  
  
“Thanks for patchin’ up my leg,” Gee says unemotionally, cutting Frank off before he can even speak. Gee steps around Frank as if trying to avoid body contact.  
  
“You’re welcome,” Frank replies, the confusion from the shift in Gee’s attitude evident in his voice. Gee grabs some clothes from his bag and heads back towards the back of the bus. Mikey shrugs his shoulders, somewhat shaking his head.  
  
“I should ‘a warned you. He’s been like that since he got up,” Mikey nearly whispers. Frank’s eyes search the room as if he is trying to find physical answers. Gee walks back into the room completely dressed.  
  
“What time is the sound check?” he asks, his voice still void of emotion. Frank is unable to force any words out off his lips. His eyes dart from the floor to Gee and back several times.  
  
“At 4:30,” Mikey jumps in. “The show’s at 7, then we’re off for a week.”  
  
“A’right. I’ll see you there.” Gee grabs his bags and steps off the bus. Frank watches through a window as Gee limps across the parking lot to his car, tossing his bags in the back seat after opening the door. He slowly slides into the car, obviously aware of the injuries to his leg, cranks it, and speeds out of the parking lot.  
  
“What’d I do?” Frank asks, still unable to comprehend Gee’s lack of emotion. Mikey just shrugs his shoulders again, turning the corners of his mouth down a little.  
  
“Ray’s gonna come over for while, so we can unwind and play some ‘Gears’ before the show. Wanna come?” Mikey tries to take Frank’s mind off Gee.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Sounds good,” he mutters in reply.  
  
“What’s up with...” Ray begins to ask as he steps on the bus, curious of what he’s missed. Mikey cuts him off shaking his head no at him.  
  
“Oh. Ready to get off this thing?” Ray hints at heading towards some needed rest, taking Mikey’s cue.  
  
“Definitely!”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Where the hell is Gee? I told him 4:30!” Mikey shouts in anger.  
  
“You know where his is,” Ray answers, not even looking up from his guitar.  
  
“It’s almost 5. He better not be—” Mikey is cut off by Gee’s loud entrance.  
  
“I’m here. Here _I_ am,” Gee croons out, swings his arms wildly, knocking over the dead microphone. He is stumbling slightly as he turns it back upright and walks out to center stage. Frank can smell the alcohol that seems to be dripping from Gee’s clothing as he walks by. A pang of guilt sinks in Frank’s gut. He watches Gee intently, hoping he will make eye contact. As Gee swings around with a dance-like move, his eyes are caught by Frank’s. He freezes as his expression drops from his face. He stands there just breathing. With the same quickness he had stopped, Gee is reanimated, breaking his gaze with Frank. He swings on around towards the direction of Mikey and Ray.  
  
“Are we going to put on show here or did somebody _diieee_?”  
  
“Geesus, Gerard! You’re shitfaced!” Mikey is irate.  
  
“Naw, naw,” Gee slurs, waving his hands dismissively. “I’m just ready to rock some fans.” He looks around. “Are we gonna do this or what?”  
  
They all take their places and struggle through the sound check. Gee is sporadic in remembering the lyrics. Frank, Mikey, and Ray all exchange glances throughout the mock performance. All of them are thinking the same thing: this is going to be either really interesting or really messed up.  
  
Once backstage, Mikey and Ray approach Gee hoping to sober him up a little before the show.  
  
“Gee, I brought you some coffee,” Ray offers, holding out the cup.  
  
“What the fuck do I need that for?” Gee half giggles. “I got a fuckin’ drink, right here.” He sloshes the amber liquid over the edge of the paper cup in his hand.  
  
“Christ, Gee,” Mikey wails. “Is that more Goddamn liquor? How the hell you plan on performing tonight?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Gee words are more slurred than before. “Maybe _you_ should have some.”


	11. Guys Like Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Muse doesn’t exactly fit here, but considering I have twisted some facts already...

The supporting act is wrapping up. Gee has assumed his narcissistic stage presence. The rest of the guys are worried how tonight will play out. Gee’s never been this drunk for a show before, and a sense of something bad to come is in the air. Muse thanks the crowd graciously and heads off stage. The lights go out. Over the roar of the crowd, they can barely make out “MCR” being chanted. Frank feels a hand slide over his shoulder and down across his chest. The smell of alcohol tells him who it is. His heart seems to stop beating. All he can hear is Gee’s breathing, as if the crowd has gone silent. He feels his body want to tremble out of fear. He does his best to control his muscles, although he knows Gee is so intoxicated, he’d probably never notice.  
  
“You want me?” He pauses. Frank can hear something dark, something ominous in his voice. “You really _want_ me?” Gee licks the side of Frank’s neck. A shiver escapes Frank’s control. Gee laughs, though it’s inaudible over the crowd, but Frank can feel the movement in Gee’s chest pressed tightly against his back. “Then you... you my little Frankie... can be my little... faggot... whore.” Suddenly Frank can’t breathe, like Gee’s words took the air out of the room. Gee’s hand pats him hard on his chest. Then as quickly as he was there, Gee is gone.  
  
Frank is certain. The show cannot go on tonight. Gee is dangerously out of control, and someone is going to get hurt. He tries to catch Mikey and Ray, but to no avail. They have already run out on stage, grabbing their instruments. Frank joins them. The stage lights come on. As if he could have found him through the darkness, Gee is glaring right at Frank, catching Frank’s attention. The same ominous look is in his eyes that was in his voice back stage. Instinctively, Frank makes a move once more to try to warn Mikey. Gee steps in his way. He looks down at Frank, an amused grin growing on his lips.  
  
“They can’t save you!” he taunts.  
  
“Gerard, you can’t perf—”  
  
“They can’t save me either.” He pokes his finger in Frank’s chest with each puctuation, “And neither. Can. YOU!” The sound in Gee’s voice, the words he spoke, combined with Gee’s current physical state terrifies Frank. He breaks eye contact with Gee and glances around, catching Mikey’s eyes finally. Mikey can clearly read the terror and cry for help in Frank’s expression. Mikey redirects his gaze to Gee. Gee turns to look at Mikey, coolly and calmly. Mikey sees why Frank looks so terrified.  
  
Before Mikey can make a move, Gee starts the show, his back still towards the screaming fans.  
  
“Are you ready, New Jerseeeeeyyyyy?” Gee shouts into the microphone. The crowd roars even louder. He turns to face them. “It’s so FUCKING GOOD to be back home!” The music starts for “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid.” Gee turns towards the guys, shouting in the microphone.  
  
“NO! NO! NO! Let’s play a different one... hmmm. How about...” Pretending to think while tapping his finger on the side of his chin, Gee turns back to squarely face Frank. “‘You Don’t Know What They Do To Guys Like Us’?!” Frank is more sure than before this show isn’t going to last long at all.  
  
The music has started without him, but Gee’s dark gaze is still holding Frank’s. Something is holding him there; he is unable to break it, unable to play any music. Without any warning, Gee begins singing and prances around towards the awaiting fans.  
  
Frank begins to strum the strings on his guitar. The whole moment seems surreal. Ray has since become aware of the situation’s dangerous proximity to the edge of the proverbial cliff. He and Mikey are watching Frank. Frank throws a glance at them. He sees Ray’s face drop. Time stands still. Gee is in front of Frank in an instant. He grabs Frank roughly with the arm holding the microphone, shoving his free hand down the front of Frank’s pants. Frank is incapable of stopping a wave of desire from coursing through his system, even though he knows this isn’t “their” Gee. Gee never stops singing.  
  
“Too much, too late, or just not enough of this pain in my heart. For your dying wish, I'll kiss your lips again...” Gee kisses Frank hard, dropping the microphone on the stage floor. His other hand is still shoved down the front of Frank’s pants. In the small amount of lucidity Gee has left, he knows Frank can’t resist. He flashes a devious grin at Frank. Frank draws a sharp breath as Gee’s hand finds his hardening length. The crowd is screaming and singing the lyrics Gee is too occupied to sing. He kisses Frank again. As he breaks the kiss, he bites hard on Frank’s lower lip. Blood runs down Frank’s chin.  
  
“Is this what you want?” Gee snarls in Frank’s ear. Without missing a beat, he lets go of Frank, grabs the microphone from the floor, and jumps right back into the show with his favorite line.  
  
“Do you have the keys to the hotel, ‘cause I’m gonna string the mother-fucker on FIRE!”  
  
Mikey and Ray just look at Frank, unsure what to do. Afraid of Gee’s reaction, they end the song as normal, moving on to the next one on the playlist. Gee plays to the crowd, offering Frank a reprieve to collect himself mentally and physically. Mikey carefully moves across the stage, trying not to draw his brother’s attention. After the song ends, Gee starts rambling to the crowd. Mikey takes the chance to talk to Frank.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“I’ll live. Something’s wrong with Gee, though. We’ve got to get him off this stage! As soon as we can!”  
  
“I know. I’ll snake over to Ray and talk to him before we make any moves, though.”  
  
Frank just shakes his head yes. Gee has stopped talking and the next song is beginning. Keeping Gee in his peripherals, Frank tries to act as normal as possible. Gee is crooning out “I’m not okay” over and over during the song, and Frank notices a subtle change in his expression. He’s not sure what it is, but he doesn’t like it. They get through the verses and move on to the bridge. Frank starts to think it was just Gee reacting to the lyrics. And Frank is somewhat right, but not in the way he thinks.  
  
Suddenly, Gee whips around to face Frank. The arrogance that was in his face is replaced by fear of himself. He is staggering around, trying to find words. The microphone slips from his grasp. All he can think of is the lyrics to the song. _I’m not okay. I’m not okay!_ He says the only thing he can.  
  
“Trust me, Frank, I’m not okay...”  
  
As if suddenly and keenly aware of Gee’s mental state, the crowd’s roar dies. Gee stumbles backwards. _NO! GGEEEEEEeeeeeeee_! Frank lunges for Gee, but he’s too late. Gee tumbles backwards off the stage, landing hard on the concrete floor.


	12. Climb Out From The Pine Box

“Frank, he’s coming to.” Mikey’s not sure what to expect from Gee. Especially if he sees Frank. His behavior has been so erratic the last two days. “Just remember to stay outta sight for now.”

Frank brushes the hair from Gee’s face once more. His makeup is smeared on his face from last night. In all the commotion, washing it off his face was the last thing anyone was thinking about. Gee’s eyes start to open. Frank jumps up and runs out of the room to just outside Gee’s bedroom door. Ray moves over from the chair he’s been sitting in to stand next to Mikey.

“Wh-what the hell? Why are th-the  two of you just watching me sleep?” Gee sounds a little more normal.

“You don’t remember anything?” Ray asks.

“What should I remember?” Gee sounds confused.

“It’s startin’ to spread over the internet, Gee.” Mikey recalls to him the short version of the previous night’s events. “You nearly jerked Frank off onstage then fell off the stage. The stage medic cancelled the rest of the show. And we brought you back to your place.”

“No, I-I didn’t. I c-couldn’t have,” Gee argues, shaking his head no.

“Yeah, you did. Frank’s pretty shook up about it, too.”

“Where is he? Where’s Frank?” Gee looks around. “Fraannnkk!” he yells.

Frank can hear Gee calling him. He’s reluctant to go in. Instead he walks down the hall into Gerard’s living room. Frank feels comfortable in it. Though he wonders how many more times he’ll ever be in it. _How bad have I messed things up?_ There are pictures everywhere. Most are candid shots of Frank, Mikey, Ray, Gee, or some combination thereof. Some have others in them. Frank recognizes most them as friends of theirs. Over near the corner under a window, Gee’s desk is cluttered with drawings. Some are cute. Some are dark. Some are of superheroes. Frank smiles. Gee has always drawn when things got rough. It is his escape, a place he can go to think or just get away from it all. Frank picks up Gee’s sketch pad. It has the beginnings of a new picture on the page it’s flipped to. He thumbs through the last few pages.

“Frank,” Mikey has that exasperated tone again. He turns to face Mikey, setting the book of drawings back down. “Frank, he’s only gonna talk to you. You wanna go in there?”

“I don’t mind. If he wants to talk to me, I’ll go in there.” Frank follows Mikey. After a couple of steps he stops. “Hang on, I need ta’ grab somethin’.” Mikey watches Frank fumble around Gee’s desk, apparently finding what he’s looking for. “ _Now_ I’m ready.” Frank resumes following Mikey into Gee’s bedroom. Mikey only steps in a couple of steps, just far enough to be out of Frank’s way. Frank slowly makes his way in, not sure what to expect. Gee is propped in a sitting position on the bed, looking rather frazzled. Gee intently watches Frank enter the room, but he doesn’t dare say a word. Frank sits down close to the foot of the bed, setting the things he brought in with him on the floor. Mikey and Ray exchange a glance at each other and then walk out leaving Gee and Frank to talk.

Frank sits at the end of the bed, just looking at the floor. For a long time, neither of them says anything.

“I won’t bite,” Gee says quietly, breaking the awkward silence. Frank looks up to meet Gee’s gaze.

“You did last night,” Frank retorts, trying to make it sound in jest. Gee sees his teeth impressions on Frank’s swollen lip. Immediately, guilt takes over Gee’s face.

“Frank, I...”

“You could have told me no, Gee. You coulda just said no.” He sounds a bit broken. He returns his gaze to the floor. Frank draws in a deep, shaky breath then lets it out slowly.

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t remember anything, except...” Gee can’t bring himself to finish his sentence. He, too, lowers his gaze, unable to look at the mark he left on Frank any longer.

“So... what now?”

“I dunno,” Gee mumbles. There is another long, awkward silence.

“Gee, what happened? Why’d you just snap like that?”

“I was drunk. I’m _always_ drunk.”

“The first time you stirred after passin’ out in the shower, you seemed so... so fine with it all. Then when we got home, you weren’t. Did _I_ do somethin’ wrong?”

At first, Gee doesn’t respond. Frank looks at Gee, hoping his affection for Gee still shows in his eyes. Frank’s look catches Gee’s eyes. Gee can see the forgiveness written all over Frank’s face. A tear slides down Gee’s cheek. He looks beyond pathetic. The bruise from landing his head on the side of the tub is black and blue. His hair shows definite signs of bed-head. He’s got bruises and scrapes on his arms from falling off the stage. And even though Frank can’t see it, he knows Gee’s leg is still sore. Frank slides up closer to Gee, wrapping his arm around him.

“Been a rough couple a’ days for you, hasn’t it?”

“Frank, it was drugs,” Gee whispers in a rushed admission, like he just has to get it out before it won’t come out.

“What drugs?” Frank is confused. He lets go of Gee so they can look eye to eye. “I know you been drinkin’ a lot.”

“I just felt wrong... or wronged... I don’t know.” Gee shifts uncomfortably. “I went to the bar. Drank myself into oblivion, like always. But you... your gentle touches, your caring words, your... your desire for me... it was all still there.”

 _Oh, Gerard. No. I did do this_. Frank can feel his heart bleeding for Gee. He knows where this story is headed. “What was it and where’d you get it, Gee?” his voice gentle and caring.

“I don’t know what it was, pills of some sort from a regular at the bar. I didn’t care. I just...” Gee sighs heavily. “...I just didn’t want to think anymore.”


	13. A Temporary Stand-in For Your Face

“I brought you something. I thought it might help you feel better...” Frank leans over and grabs Gee’s sketch pad and a few charcoal pencils he had brought from Gee’s desk. A small smile graces Gee’s lips.  
  
“Leave it to you to be the one to bring this to me,” Gee observes, making Frank giggle.  
  
“I know that’s always where you go when... well, you know, shit gets tough.” Gee notices Frank seems suddenly shy. He’s not sure if Frank intends to be shy or if he’s just uncomfortable. Gee leans forward, pulling Frank into him slightly. Ever so gently he kisses the apple of Frank’s cheek then picks up the sketch pad.  
  
He turns the page to a clean sheet and lifts a pencil to the page. Frank can see Gee is already lost in his own world. _I wonder what’s going in there, what he’s thinking about_. Frank sits watching Gee draw; he has always enjoyed watching him draw. Gee’s face twitches and his mouth and tongue move around slightly, like Frank can see the wheels turning in his head. He’s curious to know what Gee’s drawing this time; Gee keeps stealing glances at Frank, something he normally doesn’t do while drawing. Frank can hardly bear the curiosity anymore.  
  
“What're you drawin’ over there?” Frank asks, almost flirty.  
  
Immediately, Gee pulls his sketch pad closer, giving Frank a playful, childish look but not answering. Frank chuckles and stands up from the bed where he’s been sitting next to Gee for some time. He walks over to the bookshelf across the way. Gee always has a comic somewhere, and this is where he keeps his favorites, most he received as gifts from friends. Frank thumbs past Gee’s normal Grant Morrison comics and “The Doom Patrol” series. He’s looking for something different. Gee glances that way, then back down to his drawing.  
  
“Lookin’ for somethin’?” he asks Frank. Gee and Frank have spent countless hours in here reading comics together. By the way Frank is going over the bookshelf, Gee figures he is trying to find a particular one.  
  
“Where’s that ‘Biologic Show’ one? I just want something dark and short like that.” Gee glances up at him, smirking that Frank would choose Gee’s favorite comic book.  
  
“Like you?” Gee picks on Frank. Frank cuts his eyes at him. Both of them giggle. “I’ve got it over here,” reaching for the nightstand. “I was reading it before we left out a few weeks ago.”  
  
“Oh,” Frank replies, walking over to collect the coveted comic. He takes the comic from Gee and starts to head back across the room to the chair.  
  
“You know that chair’s not that comfortable,” Gee utters, making room on the bed for Frank. “Come cuddle up over here.”  
  
“But then I can see what you’re drawin’ over there.”  
  
“So? It’s almost done anyway.” Gee pulls the sheets off the space he had just made on the bed. Frank looks at Gee hesitantly.  
  
“C’mon,” Gee smirks, motioning with his head for Frank. Frank snuggles up on the bed. The spot is warm from Gee’s body. A shiver runs over Frank, remembering the warmth of Gee’s naked being pressed against his. Gee pretends not to notice, but his smirk turns into a full grin. He covers Frank’s lap once he’s settled in and lays the sketch pad down on it.  
  
Frank picks it up, carefully examining the art Gee had just drawn. It is a rough sketch really. On the page is a picture of Gee and Frank together, holding hands. The faces in the sketch are obvious to Frank; Gee has an adept ability with faces. Together they look happy. Frank looks up to meet Gee’s gaze, which hasn’t left him since Frank had picked up the pad. Frank sees emotion upon emotion in Gee’s eyes: fear, pain, remorse. But one comes as a surprise to Frank, desire.  
  
With a slow movement, Gee leans into Frank, softly kissing Franks lips. At first Frank is confused, but Gee doesn’t relent. Frank begins kissing Gee back. Gee is comforted that Frank hasn’t recoiled from him. Something in his soul wants this between them. _Frank is a wonderful person; he’s always been a good friend to me._ As if reading Gee’s thoughts, Frank breaks the kiss and looks closely at Gee, their faces still close together.  
  
“I’ll always be here for you, Gerard. You know that, right?” _You’re so damn irresistible when you’re vulnerable._  
  
“Would you still have me, Frank? Even after yesterday?”


	14. Could I Lie With You?

_“Would you still have me, Frank? Even after yesterday?”_  
  
Frank knows what Gee is asking. His heart is racing from the sheer joy that Gee is willing to give this a shot. Not sure if he should really do it, Frank can’t stop his hand from sliding up Gee’s chest, drawing in a slow deep breath as he does. Gee’s scent is an aphrodisiac for Frank. Gee can sense the apprehension in Frank’s body. He wants to let Frank know it’s what he wants and he’s okay with it. He pulls off his t-shirt, tossing it onto the floor. Frank notices dark bruises on Gee’s ribcage; they must be from his fall off the stage.  
  
Gee looks at Frank, as if asking permission. Frank vaguely shakes his head yes. Gee pulls Frank up on top of him, straddling him. A seductive grin curls the corners Frank’s lips up. Gee’s member is already growing stiff. Gee pulls Frank’s shirt off of him, kissing the center of his chest right over his breastbone. He can feel Frank’s heart racing under his lips while the remnants of Frank’s cologne fills his nostrils. Frank fights the urge to wrap Gee’s hair around his fingers, pull his head back, and kiss him hard. He knows Gee must be in control this time, if any of Frank’s wishes are to ever come to be.  
  
Frank is brought out of his thoughts by the feeling of Gee’s silk fingers rubbing over his collarbone, up the side of his neck and around the back of his head. Gee pulls his head forward and gently places his lips to Frank’s. Mindful of the wound he had caused, Gee kisses him, allowing his tongue to slide into Frank’s. Frank winces and tries to stifle a whimper, but Gee breaks the kiss.  
  
“Oh, Frankie, I-I’m sorry. I was trying to be careful,” Gee whispers, dropping his head down.  
  
“Don’t be.” Frank places his fingers under Gee’s chin, raising his head back up. Gee meets Frank’s gaze, recognizing a look of empathy. Frank sees flashbacks of Gee’s blood on his sheets and Gee unconscious in the hotel shower. “I know I did worse to you.” They look into each other’s eyes for some time.  
  
Frank wants Gee, and not just sexually. He wants to build a life with him. Frank wants to be the one Gee can always depend on. He loves Gee, more than he ever has or ever will love another. Gee can almost see the years of bottled passion Frank holds for him. He knows Frank would do right by him, die for him if it came to it. Gee realizes that, if only for the moment, this is right.  
  
“I want you, Frank...” It is almost inaudible, but Frank hears it, if only with his heart. He slides off Gee, standing up next to the bed. He pulls his jeans and boxers off, letting them lay where they fall around his ankles. He leans over Gee, unbuttoning his jeans. Gee lifts his hips, allowing Frank to pull them and his boxers off. Frank drops them on the floor and turns his attention back to Gee. He kisses the side of Gee’s leg where the broken glass had cut him. He climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees. Frank kisses each and every scratch and bruise on Gee’s broken body, each one drawing a sharp image of the last two days into Frank’s mind.  
  
With each kiss, Gee becomes more attached to Frank. He longs for them to never have to leave this room. Each kiss is an apology from Frank, and with every one, Gee forgives Frank for blaming himself for Gee’s own transgressions. By the time he reaches the dark mark on Gee’s cheek, Frank’s eyes are filled with tears. One spills over his eyelashes, running down his face. Gently, Gee wipes it away with his thumb. No words need to be said.  
  
Gee rolls the two of them, so he’s now atop Frank. With the same care as before, Gee kisses Frank. This time, Frank doesn’t wince. He’s too lost in the moment to feel the pain.  
  
Gee discreetly pulls a tube of lube from the nightstand’s lower drawer, and repositions himself between Frank’s legs, rubbing some of the lube on himself. He stands there on his knees awkwardly for a moment.  
  
“You sure you want to do this?” Franks questions Gee.  
  
“I’m sure, but do I... should... I, um...”  
  
“I’m used to it, Gee. I’ll adjust rather quickly.” Gee sighs, relieved Frank is more experienced and knew what he was trying to ask.  
  
Gee guides himself into Frank, enjoying the warmth enveloping him. He leans over and presses his lips to Frank’s once again. Frank kisses Gee back, sliding his tongue into Gee’s mouth. Gee can feel the passion rising in his body. He begins moving his hip. Frank moans, and his body begins to tremble. Gee has never evoked such a visceral response from another lover. Frank’s response causes Gee to thrust faster. Gee leans forward licking Frank’s neck, then sucking on it gently. Frank cries out Gee’s name loudly. Suddenly, Mikey appears around the corner of the door, stopping dead in his tracks.  
  
Gee and Frank have forgotten Mikey and Ray are in the living room. Gee immediately freezes mid-thrust. All the color has drained from Mikey’s face. Mikey spins around so his back is now to them.  
  
“Uh, obvi—obviously you two are... are just fine. We—we’re going to leave. Call if you need anything...” He rushes out of the room, calling back, “...after you finish doing... _that_ , of course.”  
  
Neither Frank nor Gee move until they hear the door shut. Both of them burst into laughter.  
  
“I guess he approves,” Frank jokes.  
  
“I guess,” Gee answers, leaning into Frank’s lips for another kiss. Frank wraps an arm around Gee’s neck, his hand running up into Gee’s sweat-soaked hair, drawing him closer. Gee starts moving his hips again, slowly at first. As Gee’s pace quickens, Frank kisses his neck, drawing a sharp breath from Gee. They make eye contact. Frank can see in Gee’s eyes the need to explode in ecstasy.  
  
“I’m there, too,” Frank mutters through his rapid breathing.  
  
Being what Gee needs to hear, Gee thrusts only a couple more times before filling Frank with his love fluids. Frank holds his own, watching Gee’s face tighten in orgasmic bliss. As the last of Gee’s ecstasy is released, Frank can no longer delay gratification. His own member erupts with his pleasure, covering his and Gee’s stomach.  
  
They lie there together, both breathing heavily and irregularly, covered in sweat. This time, Gee knows there’s no fear of regret. This is what loving Frank is supposed to be. Gee withdraws himself from Frank, sliding down beside him, and resting his head on Frank’s shoulder. Frank wraps his arms around him, kissing the top of Gee’s head then leaning his head against it. He can discern serenity in Gee.  
  
Eventually, Gee’s breathing grows steady and shallow in sleep. Frank is glad he had let Gee have control. He fights sleep as long as he can, just trying to live this moment in time to its fullest. Frank’s eyes ultimately become too heavy to keep open. He drifts off to sleep with one final thought, _Gee is an exceptional lover_.


	15. Like Scarecrows That Fuel This Flame

Gee wakes before Frank. Frank is snuggled close, like he’s afraid Gee will leave while he’s sleeping. But Gee has no intent of leaving right now. He lies there, just really looking at Frank, taking in his boyish features one at a time. To Gee, it’s still strange to be sharing his bed with one of his best friends. A week ago, he would have never thought this is where he’d be this morning. He never would have thought he’d be having a homosexual relationship. But if there is anyone to have one with, it would be Frank.  
  
Frank stretches a little, yawns, then blinks his eyes rapidly. _God. His eyes are amazing._  
  
“Good morning, sleepy head.”  
  
“You’re still here?!” Frank pokes at Gee in jest.  
  
“It’s my room, isn’t it?” Gee jokes back.  
  
“Oh, I see.” Frank smiles at Gee. “Since this is _your_ house, do _you_ have any breakfast foods?”  
  
“Probably not. Not many people been eating here in the last few weeks, remember?” Gee remarks somewhat sarcastically.  
  
“Wanna head out to the Stack?”  
  
“‘Mister Clean’ doesn’t want a shower first?” Gee quips. Frank can’t stop a laugh.  
  
“I think I can handle your germs a while.” Frank retorts through his smile.  
  
They climb up out of the bed. Gee grabs some clothes from a drawer. He sees Frank reaching for his off the floor.  
  
“I don’t have anything in boy sizes, but let me see if I’ve got something you can wear.”  
  
“Ha. Ha.” Gee finds Frank some clothes that fit decently enough. He grabs his clothes and heads for the bathroom, leaving Frank to change in his room. Frank doesn’t care if the fit is a little big; he likes that it smells like Gee. He puts Gee’s clothes on and grabs his wallet. He exits the bedroom and heads for the bathroom himself. Gee has already finished up in there and headed for the kitchen. Frank drains his bladder then goes to find Gee.  
  
As he begins to round the corner towards the kitchen, he notices Gee’s body language is suspicious. He backs back around the corner and watches for a minute. Gee throws back a glass of amber liquid. He pours another and throws it back, too. He carefully hides the bottle in the back of a top cupboard. Frank quickly steps back into the bathroom. He re-emerges, pretending not to know Gee was just in the kitchen drinking, but he can smell the alcohol on Gee’s breath. He decides not to say anything yet, as to not spoil the morning.  
  
Gee’s car was still at the bar, so they take Frank’s. They pass the hospital, then turn. The car is filled with a comfortable silence. Without looking at him, Gee extends his hand and wraps his pinkie around Frank’s, allowing his hand to rest on Frank’s leg. Gee’s touch causes Frank to feel blush and smile, but Gee doesn’t notice. He’s watching the scenery, happy to be home. There are some children playing at the park, and a few people off in the distance playing golf. They drive a bit further, reaching the Passaic. Several people are out sculling.  
  
“I’m starvin’. I hope they aren’t too busy,” Gee breaks the silence, knowing they are approaching the Stack.  
  
“It’s mid-morning on a weekday. I doubt they will be.”  
  
They pull into the parking lot. Frank easily finds a parking space.  
  
“See? Told ‘ya.” Gee throws him a look, smirking at him.  
  
They head in and are quickly seated. Frank orders a vegetarian omelet and coffee. Gee has the “Hungry Man Special” with coffee as well.  
  
“So you’re okay with all of this,” Frank sounds as if it is really more of a question. Gee has been looking at Frank since they sat down, as if carefully studying his being visible above the table. Frank’s gaze catches Gee’s. Gee leisurely shakes his head yes.  
  
“I think so.”  
  
The waitress brings the coffees and some creamer. Frank flashes her a grin, never breaking the conversation with Gee.  
  
“We need to talk, Gee, but I don’t want to piss you off.”  
  
“About...” Gee’s not sure he want to have a serious conversation about their relationship yet.  
  
“You smell like alcohol. I know you’ve had some drinks this morning.”  
  
Gee’s eyes drop to the table. He takes a deep breath. _At least it’s not about ‘us._ ’ Frank waits patiently for Gee to reply.  
  
“You know, every time I pick up a drink, my mind says no, I don’t want it. I don’t wanna be drunk. I don’t wanna be outta control. But, it’s like every fiber in my body is screamin’ for it.” Frank can hear sincerity in Gee’s confession. He sits there thinking for a few minutes.  
  
“Do you wanna stop, Gee? If I help you, can you try?” Frank offers, reaching out for Gee’s hand. Gee allows Frank to take his hand in this public setting. Frank laces his fingers through Gee’s.  
  
“I don’t know if I can, Frank. I don’t know if I’m strong enough...” Gee’s voice waivers.  
  
“Gerard, look at me,” Frank’s voice offering comfort. Gee’s eyes meets Frank’s. He can see determination in Frank’s expression. Frank can see fear in his. “If you really want it, I’ll be there for you. I’ll be the strength you need to get through it. I will be by your side as long as you need me, no matter what. I swear it to you.”  
  
Gee offers Frank a pathetic grin. He’s not sure what to say. He’s not sure even Frank can get him through this. Even now, he feels his body begging for alcohol. This will be the single most difficult thing he has ever done.  
  
“We’ll need to let Mikey know,” he finally answers Frank. Frank squeezes Gee’s hand laced with his.  
  
“I’ll talk to him.”


	16. What’s the Worst That I Could Say?

“Hello?”  
  
“Hey, Mikey. It’s Frank.” Gee couldn’t bring himself to make this call, so Frank is making for him.  
  
“I was wonderin’ when one of you would call. I didn’t want to _interrupt_.” Frank giggles.  
  
“Interrupt what? Breakfast?” Frank pretends not to know what Mikey is talking about.  
  
“Yeah,” sarcasm evident in Mikey’s voice. “So what’s up?”  
  
“Actually, we need you. Our threesome just isn’t complete,” Frank jokes, winking at Gee. Gee laughs. He can only imagine the look on Mikey’s face right now. “I’m _kidding_!” Obviously there was no answer on the other end of the call. “But seriously, Gee needs to talk to you. Well, _we_ need to talk to you. ... No, we’re not talking about that. ... Yes, we know it’s illegal. ... I think you should just come over here. ...Yes, Gerard’s fine. ... ‘Bout ten minutes? ... Okay, see you in a few.” Frank hangs up the phone.  
  
“What’s illegal?” Gee asks, sounding somewhat jovial. He knows his brother probably had a joke of some sort.  
  
“Us getting married. Premature of him to think that.” Frank teases, trying to lighten the topic. He feels that conversation is a bit too close to the line of pushing it with Gee. Gee jumps up from the old, navy blue sofa in the living room, tackling Frank and nearly knocking down.  
  
“Ah, Frankie. Really?” Gee imitates a female voice. “Marry you? In a heartbeat! Just say the word, and I’m yours. Forever!” He kisses Frank’s cheek and starts to rub his face all over Frank’s shoulder. _At least he’s taking all this is stride so far._ Frank can’t help but laugh at Gee’s performance.  
  
“Gee, we might want to talk _seriously_ before your brother gets here. He was only around the corner when I was talking to him.”  
  
“Just suck the fun outta my parade, why don’t cha?” Frank can hear a giggle still in his voice. “That means we can’t do, you know, _that_ right now,” Gee slightly mocks his brother. Frank laughs and presses his lips to Gee’s just slightly.  
  
“Maybe later.” Gee knows he shouldn’t continue the charade any longer right now by the tone of Frank’s voice. “You sure you wanna do this?”  
  
“Well...” Frank giggles, waiting for Gee’s continuation of this farce. “...I supposed I _could_ continue to drink and do drugs, spiraling down this dark well of self loathing. But only for you.” Gee kisses Frank’s nose. Something in that last part actually sounds honest to Frank.  
  
“Last chance...” Frank plays back with Gee. “...after this, you’ll _never_ love me.” _I shouldn’t have said that. Crap! Please don’t take that..._ A knock at the door interrupts them. Gee lets go of Frank, walking back over to his spot on the sofa. Frank steps around the sofa, and opens the door.  
  
“Is it safe? You both dressed?” Mikey jests. He steps on in. Frank invites him to sit down wherever. Mikey steps around the sofa, grabbing a cushion off of it, and makes himself comfortable on the floor in front of the sofa. Frank sits down on the sofa beside Gee, making sure there is some space between them.  
  
“So? What’s so important I need to hear in person?” Mikey looks straight at Gee. Gee just looks at him, unsure where to start. He quickly turns to Frank. Frank senses Gee’s fears. He pats Gee’s hand and begins for Gee.  
  
“Yesterday, Gee made some mistakes other than just the obvious.” Mikey’s eyes throw a look at Frank, then back to Gee, who now appears to be trying to count the number of threads in the shabby carpet. Frank continues, “He was upset and went to the bar as usual. After getting wasted, he didn’t feel much better.” Frank pauses, shifting his gaze to Gee. Gee looks up at Frank, shaking his head yes at Frank to continue the story.  
  
“And...” Mikey adds, looking at Frank intently. Gee drops his gaze back to the floor. Frank looks back at Mikey and continues.  
  
“Gee took some pills from another regular at the bar. That’s why he was acting so strange yesterday, and why he lost consciousness and fell off the stage.”  
  
“Really? Gee?” All Gee can do is shake his head in response. “ _Thank God!_ ” Mikey sighs as if he’s been holding his breath. “I mean, I’m not glad you took drugs, just that... I was worried, and...” Frank interrupts him.  
  
“ _And_ , he’s decided to stop drinking before it leads to more. Like a drug habit. He’s asked me to help through it.”  
  
“Gerard, that’s awesome!” Mikey jumps up off the floor, hugging his brother tightly. “We can cancel a few shows if we have to. When are you planning to start?”  
  
Gerard finally chimes in, “About four hours ago. I haven’t had a drink since this morning. And in the spirit of honesty, I’m really starting to jones for one.”


	17. As Days Fade, And Nights Grow

Mikey had left after Gee assured him he and Frank could handle it. Mikey had offered any help if they needed it. After walking Mikey out, Frank and Gee headed down the hall to Gee’s bedroom.  
  
They read some comics and Gee works on his sketch of him and Frank some more. There is no conversation. Frank likes that they don’t have to talk all the time. He enjoys the comfortable silence between them. Inside Gee’s mind, though, the story is completely different. His mind is anxious, waiting for the inevitable to come. He puts his sketch pad down.  
  
“I can’t draw anymore right now.” Frank looks up from the comic book he’s been reading. Gee’s hands are trembling badly. This is the first visible of withdrawal. He stands up from the uncomfortable chair and joins Gee on the bed, wrapping an arm around him. Frank sweetly presses his lips to Gee’s in a short kiss. Their eyes lock together.  
  
“No matter what, I’m here, Gee. I won’t leave you until this is over.” Frank takes Gee’s hand in his. His hand is clammy. Frank wonders how long it’s been that way. He dares not ask, though, not wanting Gee focusing on the withdrawal symptoms.  
  
“How bad you think it’s gonna get, Frank?”  
  
“I dunno. But we’ll get through it. Maybe you should try to get some sleep. You might not be able to later.”  
  
“At the risk of sounding like a momma’s boy, would you read a comic to me? I just wanna listen to your voice.” Gee nuzzles his head into the crook of Frank’s neck.  
  
“Sure, Gee. Anything particular?”  
  
“Just read anything.”  
  
Frank snuggles Gee closer and reads him a Watchman comic book, then several X-men comic books before realizing Gee has slipped into sleep. His body is pouring sweat and still trembling despite being asleep. Wary of sleeping while Gee is worsening, Frank knows he needs to rest now, too, while he can.  
  
He draws Gee closer to him. He lies there, feeling Gee shake in his arms and taking in his scent. Unknowingly, Frank’s eyes slowly close in sleep.  
  


\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Frank is awakened by Gee’s uncontrollable tremors. Frank realizes the sun has begun setting for the evening. The sky is a beautiful, fiery orange. Gee’s eyes are open staring out the window, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of much. His face is pale white; his breathing is shallow and rapid. _He is extremely sick_. Frank puts the back of his fingers to Gee’s sweaty brow. He is burning up.  
  
Frank climbs off the bed and squats down beside the bed, trying to find Gee’s line of sight. He puts his hand on Gee’s cheek. Frank swears Gee moved in response to his hand.  
  
“Gerard, you okay? Do you need something?” Frank just wants a response of any sort. He just wants to know Gee is still in there.  
  
Gee’s eyes slowly begin to focus. Frank can tell he is no longer staring through him. _It’s a good sign that he’s tracking me_. Gee opens his mouth wide, taking in a deep breath.  
  
“Frank, I’m hurting! It hurts everywhere. Make it stop. Please?!” Gee’s desperate words are labored and raspy. Frank feels a hot tear slide down his cheek. He’s not sure what to do but wait it out.  
  
“It’s won’t last forever, Gee. I promise, it won’t.” He cautiously leans over to Gee, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be right back.” Gee doesn’t seem to respond.  
  
Frank jogs for the kitchen. He knows Gee needs to drink some fluids. He opens the cabinet to grab a glass. A black label on the top shelf grabs his attention. He grabs a chair from the kitchen table, placing it up to the cabinet, and climbs up onto it. Frank just looks in horror. Gee has a whole wet bar in his cabinet. None of it is less than 50 proof. There is also a small, unlabeled prescription bottle with a half dozen or so white pills in it. Frank figures these are from the guy at the bar but wonders if it was really the first time Gee had taken them.  
  
A rush of rage floods Frank’s body, not at Gee but at this cabinet. Frank grabs a glass, making a mental note to come empty this later, once Gee is sleeping again. He fills the glass with some water and rushes back to the room. Gee hasn’t moved and still stares blankly out the window.  
  
“I got you some water. I know you don’t want to, but I really need you to drink this.” Gee’s eyes seem to focus on Frank again. Frank offers a pathetic smile, adding “Can you drink just a little for me?” Gee nods his head yes. _Thank God_! Frank sets the glass down on the nightstand. He wraps his arms around Gee, attempting to help him sit up some. He grabs the water and sits on the edge of the bed. Gee’s hands are trembling so badly, Frank doesn’t think Gee can hold the glass unassisted. He lifts it to Gee’s lips. Gee sips the water, then drinks like he is parched.  
  
“Slow down some. You’re going to make yourself sick,” he warns Gee lovingly. Gee stops drinking the water; a small bit runs out of the corner of his mouth. Without hesitation, Frank wipes it away with his thumb. Gee’s eyes grow wide. Frank realizes it is too late; Gee is already sick. Luckily the bathroom is just across the hall from Gee’s room.  
  
Frank helps Gee up off the bed and into the bathroom. Gee can barely get over the toilet before the water he just drank was coming back up. Frank fumbles through a closet, emerging back out with a wash cloth. He wets it in the sink, and then wipes Gee’s mouth. Gee’s weak frame is hardly able to hold him upright. Frank tosses the cloth down and helps Gee back across the hall. Once Gee is back in the bed, he motions for the water. Frank hands it to him. _Blessed Virgin Mary, please help me get him through this_ , Frank prays silently.  
  
“Slowly. Just take small sips,” he reminds Gee. The concern in his voice is clear to Gee, even through his haze of DT’s. Frank is far from Gee’s present thoughts, though. His body is fighting a war; the suffering is only going to get worse.


	18. And They Found You on the Bathroom Floor

Frank lies next to Gee on his bed. He’s not sure how long they’ve been cuddled up together. The days have all run together without solid sleep. Gee has gotten considerably sicker, but it seems he has stopped the downhill slide finally. Frank hopes this is the worst of it. Gee is pale and weak; his body is nearing the point of not being able to take anymore without medical intervention. Frank is aware that Gee has become dehydrated, from profuse sweating and bouts of vomiting.  
  
Frank hears a soft rap on the bedroom door. He had given Mikey Gee’s house key yesterday. Maybe the day before, he can’t remember. This way, even if they were both sleeping, Mikey could check on them or offer Frank a break to eat a bite or two, even if it was only enough to keep away hunger pangs so he could get back to Gee’s side. Mikey slides into the room.  
  
“How’s he doing?” Mikey asks, sitting down at the foot of the bed and looking intently at Gee.  
  
“He seems to have stopped getting worse. If it doesn’t stop soon, though, Mikey, I just...” Frank’s voice breaks. His eyes meet Mikey’s. Mikey can see Frank has been crying. His eyes are rimmed with red and tear stained. He tries to clear his throat and finish his statement, “...I just don’t know how much more he take. I can barely get him to drink anything anymore. And he hasn’t eaten in two, maybe three days.”  
  
“It’s been four days, Frank,” Mikey corrects Frank regretfully. Frank’s head slumps pathetically to his chest. “When’s the last time you ate?”  
  
“I dunno. I’m not hungry anyway.” Frank is rapt in Gee’s agony again, softly running his hand through Gee’s hair. He’s not interested in talking about himself. Gee’s body has begun trembling almost violently again.  
  
“Frankie, you gotta eat or you’re not gonna be any good to him. I’m gonna go get you some food, okay?” Frank nods weakly. Mikey stands up from the bed. “Come here,” Mikey’s word are full of concern. Frank doesn’t move at first then stands up and walks over the Mikey. Mikey extends his arms, offering Frank some much needed comfort. Frank practically falls into Mikey’s arms, his eyes pouring tears before his head hits Mikey’s chest. _How much more can his body take? Passing out in the shower, falling off the stage, and now this?!_ Mikey just stands there embracing his band mate and his brother’s lover. It is the first time Mikey has thought of Frank in that light.  
  
Frank realizes how much he needed that. Somewhat relieved, he releases his grip on Mikey’s body. He wipes at Mikey’s shirt with his hand.  
  
“Oh man, sorry. I left a wet spot on your shirt.”  
  
“It’ll dry. You gonna be okay for a lil’ while? I’m gonna go get your food.” Frank nods his head again, already sitting back down next to Gee. Mikey turns, fishing his keys out of his pocket, and walks out of the room.  
  
“I’m not dyin’,” Gee moans. A smile creases Frank’s still wet checks. Gee has had a few lucid moments, and Frank is thankful for each one. They offer him hope that Gee’s not as sick as he seems.  
  
“How long you been awake?”  
  
“Long enough to know I need to throw up again. I wasn’t doing that in front a’ Mikey though.”  
  
Frank helps Gee up from the bed. They make the trip once more to the bathroom. Frank does what he has every other time. He helps Gee down onto his knees, kneeling over the toilet since Gee no longer has the strength to stand. He wets the washcloth on the counter with cold water, placing it close the end of the counter near the toilet for easy access. He pulls Gee’s hair from his face, holding it out of the way behind his head. Frank wonders how Gee can keep vomiting when he’s hardly drank anything and eaten nothing. Gee lets his head fall backwards and reaches up his hand, grasping at the air.  
  
“I’m here, Gee” Frank says softly, taking Gee’s hand in his. “Baby, I’m right here.” He grabs the washcloth with his other hand and wipes the sweat and vomit off Gee’s face, and then he sets it back down.  
  
 _Baby._ The only word Gee heard. _Baby. Baby. Baby._ The word turns over and over in Gee’s mind, momentarily taking it off the agony in his body right now. It is the first time Frank has ever called him anything other than his name or a variation of it. With the last of his strength slowly diminishing, Gee looks up at Frank. Frank is looking back at him, his eyes full of compassion, sympathy, and love.  
  
“I love you, Frankie, I love y...” Gee says, slipping into unconsciousness once again. Frank gently catches Gee’s falling head, cradling it up to his chest. Relief floods Frank’s body, relief that Gee’s body has relaxed, offering Gee some rest, however temporary it may be.  
  
“I love you, too,” is all Frank can whisper back.  
  
Carefully, Frank tries to pick Gee up off the floor. He knows Gee’s dead weight is more than he can carry, but he can’t leave him so pathetically wrapped around the toilet. Frank looks around. He can see the foot of Gee’s bed in his room across the hall. But how is Frank supposed to get him there? Frank looks at Gee again. Quickly he jumps to his feet, practically running towards Gee’s room. He grabs his pillow and comforter, hesitating for only a moment to make sure he doesn’t need anything else.  
  
Frank notices Gee’s body shivering as he reenters to bathroom. Gee is covered in sweat, sitting on the cold tile floor with his body propped against the cold porcelain of the toilet. Frank creates a makeshift bed with the comforter. Using all the strength he can muster, he maneuvers Gee onto the thin bed. He carefully positions his body so that it looks as comfortable as it possibly can be then covers him up with the rest of the comforter. Finally content with how Gee lies, Frank eases his lap under Gee’s head, removing the pillow. He repositions Gee’s head, softly brushing his hair back to get a better look at Gee’s now peaceful face. A content grin flashes across Franks lips for a second. He puts the pillow back between him and the side of the tub, letting his head fall back of the edge of it. His eyes are heavy with sleep, but he fights the urge to let them close, in case Gee were to need him. Frank slips off to sleep, his fingers intertwined in Gee’s hair.  
  


\------------------------------------------------------------

  
Mikey returns with Frank some lunch. He sets the food on the table and walks back towards Gee’s bedroom. He stops dead in his tracks when he spots the empty bed. The panic is short lived when Mikey turns to leave the room, spotting Frank and Gee curled up on the bathroom floor. For a moment, Mikey contemplates waking Frank but decides he probably needs the sleep. He returns to the kitchen, putting the lunch in the fridge, and leaves a note on the table letting Frank know where his food is.


	19. If This Is What You Want

Frank awakes to the sound glass clinking. He suddenly realizes Gee is no longer on the floor. He bolts for the kitchen.  
  
“I need a drink.” Gee is fumbling with the glasses. A feeling of panic knots Frank’s stomach.  
  
“Gee, you can’t—" Frank’s thought is interrupted by a giggle from Gee.  
  
“Water, Frankie. I need some water.”  
  
Frank sighs in relief. “Here, let me help you.” He walks over, taking the glass Gee had fished from the cabinet. He puts it under the faucet, filling it up, and then hands it to Gee.  
  
“Thanks,” Gee tries to smile. He drinks it all in one turn up of the glass.  
  
“You want some more?”  
  
“No, I’m good.”  
  
“So how you feelin’?” Frank hears how dumb that question sounds as it comes out of his mouth.  
  
“Like I’ve been to hell and back... and need a shower.”  
  
“You hungry?”  
  
“Kind of, but I’m afraid to eat something. I’m sick of pukin’ my guts up.” Gee rubs his stomach soothingly. Frank becomes suddenly aware of a fear of hurting Gee should he touch him. He takes a deep breath, flushing the feeling from his system. He steps closer to Gee, and gently presses his lips to his cheek. Gee returns the act by placing his arm around Frank.  
  
“Thank you for not leaving me.” Gee believes his mere words of gratitude aren’t sufficient for what Frank has done. He silently vows to himself and Frank he will give Frank a fair try at making this work.  
  
“I’ll call Mikey and get him to bring you some food. If you wanna go on into the bathroom and start getting undressed, I’ll be there shortly to help you get a shower.” Frank is unaware of Gee’s intense emotions right now. Gee nods and then kisses Franks lips ever so lightly.  
  
He heads towards the bathroom. He hears Frank talking on the phone but doesn’t really listen. As he approaches the end of the hall, the window in his bedroom catches his attention. He slowly walks towards it, taking in the view of the outside. He wonders how much time Frank has spent staring out this window the last few days. He wonders how long he’s been in here and what’s happened in the rest of the world during that time. Somehow, even the dark clouds overhead look beautiful.  
  
“Gee?” Frank interrupts Gee’s meditative state. Gee startles at the sound of Frank’s voice. “I got your shower running, babe…” Gee turns and smiles at Frank. Frank basks in it, glad to have Gee smiling once again. “…and your brother’s going to bring you some food,” Frank adds, almost as if Gee’s smile had made him temporarily forget what he was saying.  
  
Franks protectively puts his arm around Gee’s and leads him towards the bathroom. With the same care he’s used in the last several days, Frank undresses Gee and then himself. He helps Gee into the shower, stepping in behind him. Gee waivers a little on the slippery bottom, but Frank steadies him gently. He reaches for Gee’s soap and begins washing off of Gee the nightmare of the last few days. Their gazes meet.  
  
“You don’t have to do—"  
  
“I want to,” Frank cuts him off. At first, Frank washing him felt odd, but now Gee is rather enjoying this experience. Gee adores how Frank is so meticulous and careful of his sore spots. To Frank, this is more than _just_ a shower together; it symbolizes washing away the old, bad habits of Gee. It is a fresh start.  
  
Once Gee is clean, Frank cleans himself quickly. He steps out of the shower, helping Gee out and wrapping a towel around Gee before himself. They go to Gee’s room to get dressed. Frank gathers some clothes for them. As he dresses Gee, he notices some of Gee’s bruising has begun fading and the scrapes on his arms are almost healed.  
  
“Wanna get out of this room a while?” Franks asks, almost a suggestion.  
  
“That’d be great.”  
  
As they enter the living room, Mikey is sitting on the sofa watching TV. He stands up from the sofa.  
  
“I knocked but no one answered, so I let myself in. When I heard the shower running I made myself at home. I have seen enough of the two a’ you naked to last me a lifetime,” Mikey attempts some humor. He hugs Gee tightly. “You look much better, I must say.”  
  
“I feel better after a shower and clean clothes. Frankie here seems to be a bit of a softie, though.” He winks at Frank. A wide smile lights Frank’s face.  
  
“He hasn’t left your side in almost five days,” Mikey adds. “I brought you a celebration feast fit for, well, someone who hasn’t eaten in days: mashed potatoes, jell-o, popsicles, applesauce, and ginger ale. I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”  
  
“This is fine. I’m still a little nauseated.” Gee turns his attention to Frank, “You okay? You haven’t hardly said anything.”  
  
“I’m just glad to have you back. I was really scared for a while,” Frank admits. Gee offers him a small kiss.  
  
“I’m glad to be back, and I’m gonna stay better from now on.”


	20. The Hardest Part of Living

A few days have passed. Frank has continued to be by Gee’s side, continuously doing everything for him. Today is the first show that hasn’t been cancelled, and Gee is worried and nervous.  
  
The energy backstage is awe inspiring. Gee can’t remember ever being sober before a show. He’s always needed his liquid courage to stand up there in front of all those people. Now he is going to do it for himself. It’s been not quite two weeks since his last drink, and although not completely well, Gee is feeling better. The others are aware of Gee’s nerves right now, and they haven’t even left the dressing room for the sound check yet. Gee is sitting alone on the floor in a back corner with a Red Bull and his sketch pad.  
  
Frank looks at him often, just checking to make sure he’s still okay. Plagued by the last show, he is relieved to know Gee is sober and accepting of their current relationship status. It’s nearly time for the sound check. Frank stands from his seat across the room from Gee. He makes eye contact with Mikey.  
  
“I’m gonna check on him,” he states quietly, knowing Mikey already knew that without him saying it aloud. Mikey ruffles Frank’s hair.  
  
“I think he needs you to,” Mikey responds with a friendly grin.  
  
Frank approaches Gee, sitting down beside him. He leans his head on Gee’s shoulder.  
  
“Whatcha workin’ on?”  
  
“This...” Gee says, handing Frank the sketch pad. His hand extending the pad out is shaking. Frank is acutely aware of the trembling.  
  
“You sure you well enough to do this?” Frank asks, concerned Gee might still be experiencing some slight withdrawal symptoms. Gee notices his hand’s movement.  
  
“Just nerves.” Frank takes the sketch pad. “I’ve never been sober for a show, Frankie. I’m not sure I can do this by myself,” Gee’s voice carrying his nervousness as well.  
  
“You’re not by yourself; we’re all here with you. And we’ll back you up, just like always.” Gee’s lips curve upward in a comforted smile. He presses his lips to Frank’s for a moment.  
  
“And you’ll always be there, won’t you?” Gee sounds a little more confident. He puts his arm around Frank’s small shoulders.  
  
“Yep.” Frank turns the sketch pad over to look at what Gee’s been working on. “Let’s see here...” It is the sketch of them Gee had started the day before he had stopped drinking. He has added more detail to it, making it look more like comic book art. In his best comic book writing, Gee has scrawled “I love you! Forever! No matter what!”  
  
“You done with it?” Franks doesn’t care if it’s finished or not. He just wants to keep it. Gee raises an eyebrow at Frank.  
  
“None of my stuff is ever done. It’s all just works in progress.”  
  
“So, I can have this ‘work in progress’, right?” Frank gives Gee a sad puppy face. Gee laughs, squeezing Frank close.  
  
“Of course.” A huge silly grin spreads across Frank’s face. Gee is amused that Frank is so happy to have the drawing. He watches Frank take in the drawing, carefully examining every detail. _He is crazy in love with me_. The thought forces a smile across Gee’s face, too.  
  
“Frank, Gee, it’s time,” Mikey says, hopping up energetically from his spot on the beat-up couch. Ray also jumps up, the adrenaline for the show already dumping into his veins.  
  
“You’ll be fine. C’mon,” Frank whispers. He and Gee join Mikey and Ray now waiting in the hall, and they all head towards the stage. Each step closer to the stage amplifies Gee’s anxiety. _I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!_ He throws a glance at Frank. Frank is also pepped up for tonight’s show. His hyperactivity starts to boil over.  
  
They reach the stage, and everyone takes their place. _Is it always like this for everyone?_ Gee feels his tension beginning to turn to excitement. As the music begins for the first song, Gee comes close to missing his cue. He turns to see Frank chuckle at him, then mouth “It’s okay” while offering him a big, silly smile. Frank wants Gee to have a great show and love every minute of it like the rest of them do. Gee shoves his middle finger up in the air at Frank, who responds in kind. Gee laughs.  
  
By the third song, Gee is having a blast. It reminds him of the times of just playing for themselves and goofing off. He’s prancing around the stage, cutting up with everyone, and encouraging everyone to give their all tonight. If he is going to have a comeback show, it is going to be incredible.


	21. 'Cause I Miss You More Than I Did Yesterday

Gee awakes the next morning. He expects to feel run down and drained but is surprised to feel rather energetic.  
  
The show is over. Gee had thanked the audience over and over, declaring them the best audience he’d ever seen as the rest of the guys had exited the stage. The crowd of adoring fans roared loudly. Gee had been careful not to let the audience see these new feelings between him and Frank. As he walked off stage, he saw that Frank had carefully hung the drawing he had made on the back of one of the speakers, out of sight from peering fan eyes but where Frank could still see it. Once backstage, Frank had kissed him hard and passionately.  
  
This morning is the first time Gee has been alone since he stopped drinking. He welcomes the serenity aloneness brings after having had someone with him at all times for weeks. He heads for the bathroom to get a quick shower. Standing in the shower, thoughts of Frank helping him shower days before creep into his mind. He begins to feel warmth spreading through his abdomen and then spreading to the rest of his body.  
  
Subconsciously, Gee’s hand finds his hardening length. Images of Frank flash behind his closed eyes. _Frank’s amazing eyes._ He slowly begins to stroke himself. _Frank’s soft, dark hair._ Gee moves his hand faster up and down, leaning his back against the cold tile. _His warm lips._ He runs his tongue teasingly over his lips in the same fashion Frank likes to do. _His satin skin laced with meaningful pictures drawn in ink._ A sound escapes Gee throat that resembles Frank’s name. _The beauty of Frank’s own perfect member._ Gee pumps even faster. He can almost feel Frank’s body pressed against his. _The pleasure it causes in my body._ Gee arches his back, loudly calling Frank’s name clearly. His male fluids explode out of him.  
  
Gee pants heavily, smirking to himself. Frank has more effect on him than he thought. He finishes his shower, grabbing a towel off the rack. As he wraps it around him, Gee remembers Frank dripping wet and shivering, trying to get him covered and dried before addressing his own cold body. His satisfied smirk grows into a loving grin. _He kept his promise; he never left me._  
  
After throwing on some clothes, Gee wanders into the kitchen. On the table lays a note.  
  
“Gee,  
  
“I wanted to make sure you had something you wanted to eat in the house. In the fridge are some eggs, butter, and milk. I put three kinds of cereal in the pantry. On the counter is some bread for some toast. If you don’t want breakfast, or you burn it, there are some frozen pizzas in the freezer.  
  
“I will check on you later! Call me if you need me before then.  
  
“*heart* you!  
  
“Frank xoxo”  
  
Gee goes to pantry and pulls out a box of Frankenberry. He giggles to himself. He grabs the milk, a bowl out of the cabinet, and a spoon out of the drawer. He pours himself a bowl of cereal and sits down at the table to eat. As he eats, he eyes the note Frank had left. His eyes trace the heart at the end. Frank had used one of Gee’s red pencils to draw it in, using only a black pen for the rest. His eyes drift down a little, now tracing the x’s and o’s. Suddenly Gee feels giddy. He resists calling him, knowing Frank is getting some much needed rest.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Frank wonders if Gee found his note, if he is okay all alone. He doesn’t want to be clingy or needed. He climbs up out of bed. He lingers for a minute in the bathroom, wondering if should take a shower. He finally decides against the shower; he’s in too big a hurry to check on Gee. He tosses on some clean clothes, quickly throwing on his shoes afterwards. Breakfast is the last thing on his mind—he has a hunger for something other than food. He grabs his keys and heads out the door.  
  
This drive has never seemed so long before. Frank’s skin is crawling with anticipation. A million thoughts and fantasies race through his mind. As he pulls into the driveway, Frank wants to squeal like a fangirl. The urge brings a sobering thought into his mind: he cannot go up to the door like this. He takes a deep, calming breath then switches the car’s ignition to the off position. He sits there another moment, trying to collect himself and his thoughts. _What if Gee is happy with his solitude? What if he doesn’t want me to interrupt?_ Frank takes another calming breath, trying to exhale all the bad feelings.  
  
He opens the door and steps out of the car. For every step he takes, the door seems to be another step away. He knocks on the door, almost too softly for Gee to hear. He doesn’t want to appear as eager as he really is.  
  
The door opens more swiftly than he anticipates. Gee grabs his hands, jerking him inside the house, and nearly slams the door shut. Gee throws Frank up against the door, putting one hand on either side of Frank’s head. He presses his body against Frank’s, simultaneously pressing his lips to Frank’s. Frank doesn’t resist. He is relieved and more turned on at the same time. Gee breaks the kiss slowly.  
  
“I thought you’d never get here...” Gee softly places another kiss on Frank’s warm, soft lips.  
  
“Miss me?” Frank quips.  
  
“I thought about you this morning. I just couldn’t stop it... them...”  
  
“And can I know what you were thinking?” Frank can tell by Gee’s actions what the general idea is, but he wants to hear Gee say the words. He grins slyly at Gee.  
  
“I was in the shower. Just flashes of you... mental snapshots...” Gee’s voice trails off. He looks deep into Frank’s eyes. His fingertips run down Frank’s chest. Frank’s body replies with a shiver. _For God’s sake, please, Gee, just say it! I want it too!_ A seductive glint flickers in Gee’s eyes, like he had heard Frank’s thought. He unbuckles Frank’s belt, then unbuttons his jeans. As Gee unzips Frank’s zipper, his hand brushes Frank’s throbbing erection. Frank’s breath catches, and his eyes roll up in his head. Gee abandons Frank’s jeans, grabbing his hand, and pulls him to the sofa.  
  
“I want you. I _need_ you!” he says as he pulls Frank’s willing being with him. Gee sits on the sofa, pulling Frank on top of him. Their lips collide as Frank lands on Gee’s lap, straddling him. _This is so wrong, yet so right! Fuck me, Frank! Fuck me!_


	22. And Then I will Be With You

“I want you. I _need_ you!” It is what Frank wants to hear. He easily falls into Gee’s lap, their lips making contact before Frank has stopped falling. Frank slides his tongue into Gee’s mouth, finding his tongue. He wants more, but he doesn’t want to break the kiss either. Gee doesn’t give him an option, breaking the kiss for him.  
  
Gee fumbles with Frank’s shirt, his clumsiness giving away to Frank how bad Gee wants this right now. He stands up momentarily to remove his jeans and boxers. Gee follows Frank’s lead, lifting his hips high enough to slide off his pants, exposing his stiff splendor.  
  
“Lube in the bedroom?” Frank asks, anxious to feel Gee inside of him. Gee smirks. He slides his hand down behind a cushion and pulls out a tube of lube.  
  
“You mean _this_ lube?”  
  
“Planned this out, huh?” Gee grabs Frank’s hips, drawing Frank closer to him. He wraps his lips around the head of Frank’s penis. Frank can’t stop a moan from sliding out between his lips. Gee teases Frank by running his tongue around the sensitive area, still not moving his head. Frank can’t stop an instinctive reaction from his hips. He thrust forward, forcing his phallus deep in Gee’s throat. Gee stifles his gag reflex. He begins moving his head forwards and back. Ever so often, he stops and suckles on Frank’s hanging scrotum. The changes in sensation quickens Frank’s breathing.  
  
“You sure... you’ve... never done... this be... before...” Frank gasps between breaths. A satisfied grin flashes across Gee’s lips before he answers.  
  
“I’m just doing what I like to be done to me,” Gee murmurs seductively, already preparing to take Frank fully down his throat again. He thrusts quickly to the hilt of Frank’s being. Frank’s back arches viciously. As wonderfully insane as this is, he needs to have Gee inside of him. Now.  
  
Frank pushes Gee’s shoulders back, driving his body into the couch. Their eyes lock together. Gee knows that look in Frank’s eyes: Frank is past controlling himself. Frank can see Gee is okay with it; there’s no reason to hold back. Frank presses his lips to Gee’s in an attempt to slow his raging passion. Gee has no desire for Frank to slow it down. He breaks the kiss and flips open the tube of lube.  
  
“Just let go...” Gee whispers in Frank’s ear, nibbling gently on it afterwards. A sharp shiver runs down Frank’s spine at the feel of Gee’s warm breath on his ear and cheek. Gee giggles, knowing his action worked as planned.  
  
Gee rubs some lube on his near painful erection, wiping his hand on his shirt the two of them had been too hurried to remove yet, and then pulling it over his head. Frank smirks impishly. He climbs onto the sofa on his knees, straddling Gee’s lap again. He reaches below, guiding Gee’s smaller head to his entry. Once Frank is lined up, he lowers his body down onto Gee’s slowly, fully enjoying the sensations of Gee penetrating him. As he fully enters Frank, Gee groans throatily.  
  
Frank caresses the crook of Gee’s neck with his lips. He traces a random pattern up his neck and across his jaw, planting small kisses along the path occasionally. Gee has held on as long as he can. He moves his hips under Frank, urging Frank’s to reciprocate the motion. Frank’s breathing catches sharply, and he places his hands on the back edge of the couch for leverage. He begins to move up and down on Gee’s member. Gee’s eyes roll up in his head, his lids not quite closed over them, and his head follow the same direction leaning back on the sofa. Frank continues the rhythmic motion, running one of his hands up and down Gee’s chest.  
  
Frank enjoys watching Gee’s body tense and relax with each of his movements. Suddenly he forces Gee deep inside of him with one quick stroke. Gee draws in a sharp breath, his fingers clawing deep into Frank’s hips. Frank can feel small explosions of delight in his lower abdomen with every eye roll, every muscle twinge, every moan of Gee’s. He leans in close, pressing their bodies together, pressing their lips together as well. Gee’s lips are quivering, barely able to kiss Frank back. Frank’s lips curl in a grin.  
  
Even with the energy his body is spending, Frank wants more. He never wants to stop. He begins bouncing his hips on Gee’s lap, creating a quick, fast, and deep pace. Frank doesn’t resist letting Gee’s name fall over his tongue. Gee’s body know naturally what Frank wants and responds to it. He changes the angle of his hips. Now with every movement of Frank’s hips, waves of pleasure surge through his body. Through the ecstasy, Frank is hardly breathing, and his body refuses to continue this rapid tempo to his dismay.  
  
Gee needs release. He moves his hips under Frank, moving his member in and out of Frank’s warm tightness. He wants to see Frank cum first. He wraps his hand around Frank’s erection, stroking up and down, mimicking the sensation on his own. Frank can feel the tightening of Gee’s grip around him every time Gee’s muscles tense. He knows they are both close to their thresholds. He moves his hips faster, causing a matching pace of in- and outwards thrusts on their phalluses simultaneously.  
  
Frank can no longer hold his pleasure. His fluids spew from him, coating Gee’s hand. Gee watches Frank’s face scrunch up tightly. He feels Frank’s entire body almost contorting with the intense pleasure filling his body. The clenching of Frank’s sphincter around Gee stirs his own. First, it is just the involuntary twitching of his abdominal muscles. Then he sees stars in his vision, unaware he’s not been breathing. Gee fills Frank with his warm, thick saltiness.  
  
Frank’s head lands gently on Gee’s shoulder. Gee wraps his arms around Frank’s trembling body, drawing him closer, not bothering to withdraw. Both are enjoying the closeness. Gee draws his fingertips up and down Frank’s back. Before long, Gee can hear Frank’s breathing regulate into sleep. He grabs a small blanket from the back of the sofa, covering them both.  
  
His member still nestled inside of Frank, Gee drift off in a content sleep as well.


	23. Aw, Sugar

Frank is drawn from his sleep by the sensation of Gee’s stiffness growing inside of him. He gradually sits up, watching Gee’s expression. Gee is still asleep, a peaceful yet aroused look spread across his face. Gee begins to mumble to himself from inside his dream.  
  
“Aahh, yeaahh... Sugar... right there... oh, Frankie...” Gee mumbles, barely a whisper. Frank smirks, amused at Gee’s sex dream about him. He decides to wake Gee to a real life version of this dream. Without making a sound, Frank moves his hips slowly. Gee’s body twitches, but he doesn’t stir. Frank speeds the pace of his thrusting. Life returns to Gee’s eyes, still drowsed in sleep. His gaze meets Frank’s. Not stopping his hips’ motion, he presses his lips to Gee’s. Gee kisses Frank back firmly. A wave of ecstasy racks his body; a deep moan from Gee causes their lips to part. Gee’s muscles contract fiercely as he again fills Frank with his love.  
  
“Hi, sleeping beauty. Dreamin’ about me?” Gee looks at Frank, confused furrowing his brow.  
  
“How’d you know?”  
  
“I dunno, ‘ _Sugar_.’ Lucky guess?” Frank jokes. Gee’s pale cheeks blush. It is not the first time Gee has had a dream about Frank. Until now, though, he’d never paid it much attention. “Can’t deny me now,” Frank continues. “Dreamin’ ‘bout me means I’m in your head.” He stands from his place atop Gee’s lap.  
  
“Oh, I can’t?” Gee winks at Frank. “Just wait ‘til the next time your dick wants my ass. We’ll see who can’t deny who?” Frank laughs.  
  
“I can tell you the answer now.” Gee expects Frank to quip about being able to hold out longer. Frank leans in close to Gee, whispering tenderly “ _I_ am completely unable to deny _anything_ about you.” Not giving Gee a chance to respond, Frank offers a brief kiss to Gee, then adds, “I’m gonna get a quick shower.”  
  
Gee just nods, staring intently at Frank. Frank turns and walks out of the living room towards the bathroom. He is aware he has just overwhelmed Gee’s senses. Gee can’t move. Not sure if he fully comprehends Frank’s statement, something in Gee knows this is what he wants. His mind flashes images of Frank he had only noticed subconsciously before. Gee smirks to himself at what he knows he is going to do.  
  
Frank turns the water off and steps out of the shower. He wonders what Gee has been thinking. He didn’t fully mean to lay a statement so deep on Gee, but he felt Gee was able to handle it now. He quickly towels off and puts his clean clothes on. The lack of actions from Gee has Frank beginning to feel anxious. He steps back into the living room. To his surprise, Gee is completely dressed and gathering his belongings up, a look of glee spread across his face. Gee notices Frank standing in the edge of the living room.  
  
“Let’s go out somewhere. Do somethin’ fun.” Gee smiles playfully.  
  
“Anything particular?” Frank can hear the surprise in his own voice.  
  
“I dunno. Just a ...” Gee hesitates, shrugging his shoulders, “...a date.” Frank’s not sure whether to jump for joy or check Gee’s breath for alcohol. Powerful emotions in his chest seem to constrict his heart from beating. Gee walks over to where Frank stands.  
  
“Y-you sure?” Franks stutters. “In public?”  
  
“Why not?! You love me, I love you, and we have always stood against homophobia.” Gee presses his lips tenderly into Frank’s for only a second. ... _I love you_... Frank’s not sure he heard the words right. Gee had said them to him that day in the bathroom while he was drying out. But Frank had never thought too much of it; it had came from a place of duress. But this was not.  
  
“You... love me?” Frank couldn’t stop the words from falling off his lips.  
  
“Of course I do, silly,” Gee remarks, trying not to make a big deal of it. “So, what are we going to do? Movie? A walk in the park? You name it, we’ll do it.”  
  
“Play at the park?” It sounds silly to Frank, but fun at the same time.  
  
“Let’s go then...” Gee grabs Frank’s hand, lacing their fingers together and heads for the door.  
  
The walk to the park is nearly silent, except for Frank’s intermitted giggling. Frank couldn’t be happier. Gee just smiles every time Frank giggles. He is glad he can make Frank so happy. Frank skips around, swinging both of their arms connected at their hands wildly back and forth, like a child. Gee doesn’t stop him. He’s content to let Frank have his moment.  
  
Once at the park, Frank jets for the swings, pulling Gee behind him and yelling, “Come on, Gee. Push me!” Gee laughs at Frank’s child-like enthusiasm. He obliges Frank’s request and pushes Frank high on the swing. Without warning, Frank dismounts the swing landing hard on the ground. He doesn’t move. Gee runs over quickly, calling his name repeatedly. He falls to his knees beside Frank. Frank cracks one eye, looking around. Gee starts laughing.  
  
“Gotcha!” Frank cries out, as he jumps to his feet and takes off. Gee follows Frank’s lead, laughing hard at Frank running with his arms spread wide, daring Gee to catch him. Gee realizes he is happy. Truly happy. He feels free. He feels safe. He feels truly loved. Gee inches closer to Frank. Frank looks over his shoulder, offering Gee a chance to catch him. Gee wraps his arms around Frank knocking him off balance. They fall to the ground together. Gee swiftly jumps over Frank to face him. Not caring about the people around watching, Gee kisses Frank hard, parting his lips to find Frank’s delicious tongue with his.


	24. But Does Anyone Notice? But Does Anyone Care?

“Why can’t it always be like this, Frankie?” The sudden change in Gee’s tone catches Frank’s attention.  
  
“Like what, Baby?”  
  
“This. In public. Not caring who sees... or cares.” Gee looks down at Frank, who is still lying on the ground in the park. Frank can see the hurt in Gee’s expression that they have to hide from their fans.  
  
“I know you like to keep things private, but if you need to, we can tell the whole world about _us_. I’m just happy bein’ with you, Gee. You know that.”  
  
Gee shakes his head no, a smile breaking the intense look from a moment ago. “Not yet. We have to make sure this isn’t gonna hurt anything else first.” Frank is confused by this sudden distressing thought process of Gee’s, but he doesn’t want to push it any further. He understands what Gee means, not wanting their relationship to jeopardize the band, their futures, or their friends’ futures. The fact that Gee has been thinking these thoughts suddenly sparks a happy thought in Frank. _Gee is giving us serious thought; this isn’t just a fling to him_. Frank resists the urge to let the corners of his mouth curl up.  
  
“So... now what do you want to do?” Frank quickly changes the subject.  
  
“My turn to pick? Already?” Frank nods his head, smirking wildly. He knows Gee’s about to say something ridiculous. “Umm... hmmm... I’m thinkin’... let’s go streakin’.” Frank knows Gee is joking, but decides to play along. He starts to pull off his t-shirt.  
  
“Alright. Let’s go!” Gee lets out a deep laugh.  
  
“Only you would run naked in a public park, you exhibitionist!”  
  
“Okay, then...” Frank pulls his shirt back down over his head. “What do you really wanna do?”  
  
“We already have to walk back home. You wanna take a detour and go see Sal at Calabrese?”  
  
“We eatin’ there? Or takin’ it home?”  
  
“How about we take it back to my place. We can eat and watch a movie or somethin’. Kind of like our first night together... but better!” Frank loves Gee’s sentimental side. And who could resist pizza and movies snuggled close to Gee on his sofa?  
  
“Sounds great.” Both get to their feet. Frank laces his fingers through Gee’s once again.  
  
At first the walk is quiet. Frank isn’t giddy with excitement this time; the walk is a more comfortable companionship kind of walk. Each of them takes turns stealing glances of the other. Gee is looking closely at Frank when Frank turns to look at Gee. He tries to turn away, but his eyes lock with Frank’s. Gee knows how badly Frank wants this to work, but he’s struggling to accept it. Sometimes it all feels so right, so perfect, but the whole idea is still so new to him. He never thought of himself as into other men, but Frank makes it impossible not to love him. And even with their limited sexual encounters, Gee has never felt such waves of pleasure fill his body.  
  
“You okay?” Frank interrupts his thoughts. Gee is unaware a tear has escaped his eye and slid down his cheek.  
  
“Yeah, just...” Gee fumbles for words. “...just thinking.”  
  
“About?”  
  
“Happy thoughts,” Gee lies. Frank doesn’t buy it but doesn’t dig for the truth. He knows Gee doesn’t want to talk about it or he wouldn’t have lied. Gee almost never lies. Frank changes the subject hoping to take Gee’s mind off whatever dark clouds are circling his mind.  
  
“What movie you wanna watch?”  
  
“I dunno. Maybe a Star Wars marathon?” Frank just shakes his head. He could care less what Gee wants to watch. He just enjoys being close to him.  
  
They walk a little further in content silence. Frank is sure he knows what’s on Gee’s mind. For all the effort Gee is giving, he has never really been in a serious relationship, and especially not in any relationship with another man. And for Gee, it is very difficult to not be able to discuss any of it with others. Frank questions if he had done the right thing back that very first night when Gee had kissed him. Should he have just let it go? After all, Gee had reacted very badly to the first time they had fucked. _Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe Gee can’t handle this at all_.  
  
“I love you,” Gee cuts into Frank’s world.  
  
“What?” Frank hadn’t heard Gee’s timid words through his own thoughts. Gee stops walking and turns to face Frank squarely. They stare into each other’s eyes for a short while. Both know the other is questioning all of this. Both are aware this is very shaky ground they have tread onto.  
  
“No matter what, Frank Iero, I love you!” Gee reassures Frank. Frank can feel his blood rushing into his face. He grins shyly at Gee. As if asking permission, Gee leans forward just slightly, barely touching his lips to Frank’s. Frank leans in, completing the tender kiss. Once their lips part, Gee rubs both his hands on either of Frank’s upper arms.  
  
“Let’s get that pizza and go home.”

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

That evening, Frank snuggles close to Gee on the sofa. Gee has his arm wrapped around Frank’s shoulder. The pizza is long gone. Frank can’t concentrate on the movie. He is completely engrossed in this near-perfect moment. Gee is absently rubbing his fingertips back and forth on the upper part of Frank’s thigh. Frank lays his head on the front of Gee’s shoulder. With the same unconscious movement, Gee softly kisses Frank’s forehead, never taking his eyes off the movie, and then rests his cheek on the top of Frank’s head.  
  
Something about Gee’s behavior offers Frank hope. He knows in the very end, they will be together in some fashion. But he worries it’s not going to be an easy road there.  
  
Eventually Frank’s eyes succumb to the darkness of sleep. Gee notices Frank’s even, rhythmic breathing. He flips off the TV, robbing the living room of its only light. He carefully cradles Frank’s limp body in his arms and eases off the sofa. Gee carries him into the bedroom, gently placing his lover on the bed and climbing in beside him, not bothering to remove either of their clothes. He lies in the dark under the sheets next to Frank, just feeling the warmth coming from his small body.  
  
For as much as he wants to be all Frank needs, he has a haunting feeling he will eventually hurt him.


	25. Well I Tried, ‘Cause I Tried

Frank and Gee have spent most of the last several weeks together. Shows are going well. They are doing well together. Mikey and Ray have adapted well to their relationship and are quick to help dispel it from being tabloid material. Frank and Gee aren’t hiding their love for each other, but they aren’t advertising it either. Gee had kissed Frank on stage again, drawing loud cheers from the attending fans. To Frank, everything is nearly perfect.  
  
But to Gee, it’s not paradise. He doesn’t like not being able to talk about Frank to others. He has always been open and honest with fans. To him, not telling is the same as lying. He is afraid to approach Frank and tell him, afraid of tainting Frank’s perfect world. After much debate, Gee decides he needs to talk to Frank.  
  
Frank has made plans for them to have dinner tonight together. Neither of them can really cook, but they decided a night in would be nice. Gee anxiously sits on his old, navy sofa waiting for Frank to arrive. He is filled with a sense of impending doom.  
  
A knock at the door startles Gee. Frank eagerly waits for Gee to open the door. Gee pulls the door open, and Frank leans up on his tiptoes to kiss him in greeting. Gee barely kisses Frank back, and Frank notices something is wrong.  
  
“Everything okay?”  
  
“We need to talk, Frank.” Gee has barely called him Frank since Gee accepted their relationship. Frank knows this isn’t good news.  
  
“Wassup, Babe?” Frank tries to play off that he fears the worst. Gee knows Frank has expected this conversation a few times, but this knowledge doesn’t make this any easier. In fact, it makes it harder.  
  
“Frankie, you know I love you, right?” Gee eyes are filled with tears. Frank is now certain what is coming.  
  
“Yes, baby. And I love you, too,” Frank replies softly, trying to hide that he knows.  
  
“I don’t like hiding from the world what we’ve got. I just need a break. I need to be able to breathe without having to worry who’s finding out what...” Gee’s voice breaks trying to fight back tears. Frank can see this is clearly hard for Gee to do.  
  
“Gerard...” Frank pulls Gee’s face to his, forcing Gee to look into his eyes. “...I’ve been expecting this. I know this is hard for you.” Tears freely flow down Gee’s face at that statement. Frank pulls him close, hugging Gee tightly to his own body. “If you need a break, then we’ll take a break...” Frank pauses, not wanting to finish the sentence. “...for as long as you need one.” Frank wants to believe it won’t be forever, but he’s not certain how long it could be.  
  
Gee wonders if he’s doing the right thing. He senses his comfort in Frank’s arms, that comfort he has never felt before. But the pressure of having to hide from the world, never being able to tell anyone how amazing Frank is, is too much.  
  
Frank’s breath catches suddenly as the reality of the moment sinks in to his gut. He has to leave. He can’t stay here another second. He quickly lets go of Gee and jumps to his feet. His body has begun trembling. Gee can see Frank is upset. How could he not be?  
  
“You gonna be okay?” Gee whimpers.  
  
“Are you?”  
  
Neither of them speaks. Neither knows what to say. Would they be okay? Frank’s broken heart can no longer bear the memories crammed in every corner of Gee’s house. He leans down, placing one last kiss on Gee’s salty, wet cheek, and then he practically runs out the door.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Frank arrives home. Mikey is his roommate, and Frank can tell he has talked to Gee while Frank was on his way home. One look at Frank and Mikey can see Frank has been crying. Frank slams the front door and bee-lines for his room. Mikey follows behind closely. Frank tries to slam his bedroom door, too, but Mikey catches it.  
  
“I don’t wanna talk about it, Mikey!”  
  
“I didn’t ask. You know this is only temporary, right?” Frank glares at him.  
  
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he snaps angrily.  
  
“I’m his damn brother. If anyone knows him, I do! And I’m tellin’ you, he did this because he doesn’t wanna ruin it forever.” Frank looks up at Mikey. His look shows confusion. “I’ve never seen him like this about anyone, Frank. I know he loves you. Hell, he told me as much on the phone.”  
  
“What else did he say?” Frank doubts Mikey will tell, but he has to ask. Mikey takes a deep breath.  
  
“He asked me to make sure you were okay.”  
  
“That all?”  
  
“All I’m going to tell you.” Mikey tries to not let that sound too harsh. Mikey understand Gee’s position. Frank has had years of dreaming about this to prepare him, and being bisexual was also a help. Gee was thrust into a relationship with no preparation. He had never thought about Frank in such a light. Gee had confessed to Mikey that he really wanted this to work with Frank, but he couldn’t handle not being able to show it publicly. _How can I be with him if I can’t be with him_ , Gee had asked Mikey through sobs. Mikey knows the worst of it though. Gee wants to have a normal heterosexual relationship, just to feel out his emotions about having a relationship with another man. Mikey had told Gee that was a bad idea in more than one way. Plus, Frank wasn’t _just_ ‘another man.’ Gee had simply retorted that maybe Mikey should date Frank then and hung up the phone.


	26. Do You Care At All?

Frank hasn’t left the house in days. He has only left his bedroom for food and to use the bathroom. He hasn’t showered or shaved. Mikey is growing increasingly concerned. He knocks softly on Frank’s bedroom door then pushes it far enough open to stick his head in.  
  
“You still alive in here?” Frank is lying on his bed, tightly grasping the picture Gee had drawn of them together.  
  
“Why won’t he call? Why doesn’t he check on me?” Tears once again fall down Frank’s face. Mikey didn’t expect Frank to take their break-up this badly.  
  
“He’s coming over later.” Mikey sits on the edge of Frank’s bed. Frank continues staring at the picture in his hands. He just wants to go back to the time in this drawing. “You want to get cleaned up and wait for him with me? We can have a nice dinner together, all of us. I think he said he was bringing pizza.”  
  
Frank sets the picture down the bed and sits up to face Mikey. “Really?” He’s not sure Gee wants to see him or that there is a chance of them having a good evening together.  
  
“Yeah, he should be here soon.”  
  
“I mean, we can have a nice night?”  
  
“Why not? We’ve all been friends for years. And we have to go back on tour eventually.” Frank smiles pathetically. “Get a shower and shave. By the time you get dressed, he oughta be here.”  
  
Mikey gives Frank a quick hug then stands and walks out of the room. Frank digs through his drawer for something nice to wear. He pulls out a dress shirt. _That seems desperate, doesn’t it?_ He put it back in the drawer and grabs a t-shirt and skinny jeans. He pulls open another drawer for his boxers and his favorite studded belt. He walks out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom.  
  
He steps in the shower and turns on the water. The cold water shocks his system, but the water is fast to warm up. Frank enjoys the comfort of the warm water running over his body. He worries about how tonight will go. He and Gee haven’t seen each other since Frank had walk out of Gee’s house without a word said. He hears Gee’s voice through the sounds of the water. For a very brief second, a giddy feeling overcomes Frank. He quickly washes up and shaves. He turns off the water and towels off. Throwing his clothes on, Frank can hear a third voice, a female voice. Mikey hadn’t said anything about his girlfriend coming over.  
  
He tosses the towel over the towel rack and heads out the bathroom. Standing in the kitchen is Mikey looking extremely mad. Mikey tries to hide his anger when he sees Frank.  
  
“What’s goin’ on?” Frank tries to sound like seeing Gee across the way doesn’t bother him, but he knows his tear-stained eyes are a dead giveaway. “Where’s Alicia? I thought I heard her.”  
  
Mikey points over towards Gee. “Meet Jenny, Gerard’s new, um, _friend_.” Frank misses the tone in Mikey’s voice. He extends his hand, taking Jenny’s to introduce himself.  
  
“Nice to meet you. I’m Frank.”  
  
“Ah, you’re in Gerry’s band.” Frank cuts his eyes at Gee, glaring hatred at him for bringing her here. That whole statement from Jenny told Frank all he needed to know. _Obviously Gee is taking this break-up quite well_. Gee gathers that Frank figured it out.  
  
“You thought you’d break me? You thought you’d be my last?” Frank can tell Gee has been drinking again by the sound of his malicious tone and slurred words.  
  
“Gerry, what’s that supposed to mean?” _She’s not that bright_ , Frank laughs silently to himself.  
  
“He _was_ my boyfriend.” Jenny just looks at Frank in disbelief.  
  
“She’s a real smart one, isn’t she, Gee? Not much different from me then. I was an idiot to think you cared.” Frank storms out of the kitchen. Mikey tries to catch Frank’s arm, but he jerks away. Frank can hear Mikey scolding Gee as he enters his room.  
  
“How dare you, Gerard, bringin’ her here! This is _his_ house, too! You need to go in there and have a real conversation with him. You _owe_ him that at least!” At that, Frank slams the door. He didn’t want Gee in his room. Or in his house.  
  
Frank slumps down on the bed. He reaches for the picture, rubbing it with his hands on his leg to try to rub some wrinkles out of it. It was all he had left apparently. Frank’s thoughts are all over the place. He wants to cry, but he is so angry at the same time. He hears a small knock on his door.  
  
“Leave me alone, Mikey.” The door slowly opens.  
  
“It’s not Mikey,” Gee replies, slowly sliding into the room. He half expects Frank to throw something at him.  
  
“What the fuck do you want?”  
  
“You still have that?!” Gee sounds surprised. He didn’t know his drawing meant that much to Frank.  
  
“What the FUCK do you want, Gerard?” Frank repeats harshly.  
  
Gee just stands in his place. Frank has never spoken to him like that.  
  
“If you’re not going to speak, get the hell out!”  
  
“Frankie...”  
  
“Don’t call me ‘Frankie’,” Frank interrupts. “I’m not your ‘Frankie’ anymore! You apparently have _Jenny_ now.”  
  
“I didn’t know you were going to be here. Mikey didn’t mention it when we talked earlier.”  
  
“You’re drunk. So much for staying better, huh?” Frank retorts. “But that’s no surprise. You always make stupid choices when you’re drunk!”  
  
“Frank, don’t—”

 

“Don’t what? Don’t be hurt? Too late for that, Gerard! Your brother tried to warn me. I was nothing more than another drug to you!” Frank turns away, digging for something in the drawer of his nightstand.  
  
“Frank, I _do_ love you! I just don’t know how to handle a relationship with you.” Gee desperately wants Frank to understand. _But how can he understand if I don’t?_  
  
“Get outta my Goddamn bedroom. NOW!” Frank’s voice is threatening and tortured. And it scares Gee. He sees a glint of light reflect from Frank’s fingers. At a closer look, Gee’s muscles tense in fear. Frank is holding a razor blade tightly between his fingers. _Frankie, no. What are you gonna use that for?_  
  
Frank sees Gee’s eyes flick down and terror spread across his face. He rolls his fingers around the razor blade, hiding it from Gee’s sight. It cuts into his fingers, but Frank doesn’t care. _Please kill me and not yourself, Frank. Please!_  
  
Mikey comes rushing in the door. He immediately can feel the tension in the room. “I sent Jenny out to your car, Gerard. I think you need to go.” Gee may be Mikey’s brother, but this is half Frank’s house, too, and Mikey thinks Frank deserves some respect in his own house.  
  
Gee leans over and whispers something to Mikey, but Frank knows what is being said by the same terrified look now on Mikey’s face as on Gee’s. Mikey’s eyes jump down to Frank’s hand. He spots small drops of blood falling from Frank’s clinched fist. Without another word, Gee turns and walks out of the room.  
  
“Give it to me, Frank,” Mikey says as calmly as he can. They hear the front door shut loudly. As if his legs were suddenly made of gelatin, Frank collapses to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.


	27. The Tearing Sound of Love Notes

Gee climbs back into his car. He had all but forgotten Jenny was waiting for him in it. His mind is back in Frank’s room. _This is MY fault. I started all this. I kissed him first. I gave him the hope this could work._  
  
“Gerry...” Jenny’s annoying voice cuts into his thoughts.  
  
“Nobody calls me ‘Gerry.’ My name is Gerard,” Gee snaps back rather rudely. Jenny looks offended but doesn’t speak again.  
  
Gee drops her off at her apartment, not even bothering to say good night or get out of the car. He’s not intentionally being insulting; his mind is far too preoccupied with other things. Gee watches to make sure she gets in her apartment then speeds off. His house isn’t far, and it only takes a few minutes for him to get there.  
  
He steps inside the dark house. Without Frank it seems so cold and empty. He shuts the door and stands still, just looking around. Gee knows he wants Frank. He knows Frank makes him happy in a way he’s never experienced. He doesn’t know how the logistics of it would work, though.  
  
If something were to happen even further down the road, would it tear the band apart? Would they be able to continue being friends? Gee flops down on the sofa, the same one he and Frank have fucked on multiple times. Gee tries to stifle a scream, failing miserably, and punches the sofa cushions violently. His guts are knotted inside of him. He feels a sudden urge to vomit.  
  
Gee dashes for the bathroom, barely making it over the toilet. As the last of his stomach contents exits his mouth, he slams his fist hard into the wall. Every room, every wall, every square inch of the house holds a memory of Frank from the last few weeks. Gee can still smell Frank’s cologne lingering in the bathroom, taunting him. He wipes his face with his sleeve.  
  
Staggering out of the bathroom, Gee makes his way back down the hall to the kitchen. If he can’t get Frank out of his head, he knows what will. He grabs a chair and throws it up against the cabinets, standing up in it before the chair has come to rest completely. Even as he does, he curses himself at doing this. _Frankie fought so hard for me to quit this shit, but here I am! I’m the fuckin’ idiot!_  
  
Gee jerks open the cabinet that contains his vast supply of alcohol. He stands there in shock for a minute; the cabinet is completely void of alcohol. In its place is a small note. Gee lovingly collects the piece of paper. Without looking at it, he is aware who put it there. Still, he reads it.  
  
“If you find this, and I’m sure you will at some point, you will be hurting or upset.  
  
“I know you can do this, Gee! Just be strong... and if you can’t be, I am here for you!  
  
“I love you! Frankie”  
  
 _Damn you, Frankie!! Even now, you are here for me!_ A sickening image of Frank holding the razor blade pierces his thoughts. Gee fumbles for his phone, nearly falling as he steps down from the chair. His hands are shaking so hard, he can hardly dial Mikey’s number.  
  
The number rings and rings, eventually going to voicemail. Gee slams the phone closed. _Something’s wrong or Mikey would have answered._ He paces the floor, trying to figure out what to do. He obviously couldn’t go back over there... but what other choice did he have? _He needs me! I need him! What should I do?_ His phone ringing startles Gee. It is still in his hand, allowing him to answer it after only one ring.  
  
“Hello? Mikey?”  
  
“It’s me. You okay?” Mikey asks, sounding fairly calm Gee notes.  
  
“Is he okay, Mikey? Just tell me he’s okay!” Mikey can hear the desperation in Gee’s tone.  
  
“I got the razor away from him and bandaged his fingers.” Mikey hesitates, knowing Gee isn’t in a proper state of mind to be answering questions, but continues on anyway. “Gerard, what were you thinking? Why would you bring her over here?”  
  
Gee wonders if Frank can hear Mikey’s side of the conversation. “I didn’t know he was there.” He knows that is a sorry excuse.  
  
“Where else would he be, Gee? This is his home, where he lives.” Somehow, Gee couldn’t hear any judgment in Mikey’s words.  
  
“I just wanted to make sure he was safe, okay?”  
  
“Okay. He’s safe.” Mikey restates.  
  
Gee hangs up the phone, nearly falling to the floor in the kitchen. He is overwhelmed with emotions, many of which are contradictory.  
  
 _How can I fix this so we both are happy?_


	28. When We Met in The Emergency Room

Gee tries to gather himself together. He has to figure this out. He has to save Frank from himself. But how? _Mikey seems to have all the answers, but I can’t call him back. Can I? No. But I need him._ Gee stands looking at his phone in his hand. Shaking his head no, he finally slides his phone into his pocket and walks into his bedroom. More memories flood his psyche. Something about them brings a little comfort to him. Something about Frank is just what Gee needs, and he is well aware of that fact.  
  
 _It won’t work, though. It just won’t._ Gee grabs his sketch pad and sits on the side of his bed facing the window. For a long time, he just sits looking out the window, wondering if it could really work. And if given all the opportunities possible, could a final break-up be amicable if it wasn’t meant to be?  
  
Gee can no longer think about it. He decides to submerse himself in a new drawing, not even sure what he’s going to draw. He begins to drag his charcoal pencil across the paper. The tip of the pencil catches a hollow in the paper from the last drawing. Not remembering the last thing he drew, Gee thoughtlessly allows the pencil to trace the indention.  
  
“Shit!” Gee shouts in frustration. Gee is suddenly cognizant of what the drawing was. It is the same one Frank holds onto so dearly. Gee realizes tears are streaming down his face. This is the first time he has cried over the split. He wants Frank to come be with him. _Frank can always make me feel better._  
  
“UGH! Get outta my head!” Gee slings his sketch pad across the room. He throws his head into his hands, grasping onto his long, dark hair tightly on either side of his head. _It won’t work. It just won’t. It will never be okay..._  
  
His phone begins ringing. Gee fishes it out of his pocket. Mikey’s number flashes on the caller ID. He opens the phone and puts it to his ear. The sounds of sirens fill his senses. He can hear Mikey frantically talking to someone in the background.  
  
“Mikey?” Gee waits a moment to see if he answers. “Mikey!”  
  
“Gerard?”  
  
“What’s goin’ on, Mikey?” Gee tries to get answers from his frantic brother.  
  
“Gerard, I didn’t... he just... I don’t know what happened...” Mikey sounds confused and in distress.  
  
“Mikey, calm down and tell me what’s goin’ on,” Gee directs Mikey. He has a sinking intuition it’s Frank.  
  
“I left him alone, Gee, I left him there... in his room...” Mikey mumbles something Gee can’t understand.  
  
“What happened, Mikey?” Gee asks curtly. His patience is running out.  
  
Through sobs, Mikey answers the best he can, “I heard a loud thud come from his room. I ran in there. There was blood everywhere. I called 9-1-1. You have to meet me at the hospital, Gee. You have to get there.” Mikey hasn’t finished his words before Gee is in his car and backing out of the driveway.  
  
He tries to steady the panic in his voice, “Mikey, listen to me. What did he do? Where did the blood come from?”  
  
“He musta had another one, Gee. He had to a’... I’ve still got the first one,” Mikey stammers, guilt filling his words. Flashes of Frank holding the razor blade flash in Gee’s mind again.  
  
“Where are you now, Mikey?” Gee can hear a sudden rush of commotion in the background and then Mikey screaming Frank’s name. An ambulance flies past Gee. He sees Mikey in the front seat, looking into the back. He hangs up his phone and follows the ambulance. He can see the EMT through the back windows of the ambulance administering chest compressions to who can only be Frank.  
  
Tears burn his cheeks. “NO, Frank! NO!” he screams loudly. The ambulance pulls into the emergency bay. Not caring about the “Emergency Vehicles Only” sign, Gee pulls in directly behind it. He throws the car in park and dashes out of the car. Mikey meets him at the back of the ambulance. The EMT that had been driving pulls both of them back and steps up to help get the gurney out of the back. A security officer for the hospital appears from what seems like nowhere.  
  
“Sir, if you follow them in, we’ll have Valet Parking come retrieve your vehicle. Where are the keys to it?”  
  
“In the ignition...” Gee mumbles not concerned about his car. As they enter the hospital, Gee gets his first good look at Frank. His left wrist wrapped tightly with gauze which is soaking through with blood. His face is extremely pale. While his eyes are partly open, it is obvious Frank is not conscious. Gee’s legs will no longer support his shaky, emotion filled body. He crumbles to the floor. Mikey sees Gee fall, stopping dead in his tracks and doubling back for him.  
  
“ _I_ did this to him, Mikey! _ME!_ ” Gee wails.  
  
“We have to keep up, Gerard. C’mon,” Mikey begs, trying to help Gee up off the floor. Gee pulls himself up using his brother’s body. Stumbling, he frantically tries to keep up. The EMTs wheel Frank into a trauma bay. A nurse stops Mikey and Gee from entering with him.  
  
“If you come with me, I’ll show you where you can wait,” she states gently, placing her hand on Gee’s arm. Gee jerks away from her. “Sir, we need all the space in there we can get. It is the best thing you can do to help him now. I promise we’ll take good care of him.”  
  
“C’mon, Gerard. We need to follow her.” Mikey puts his arms around him. Gee again collapses, Mikey catching him mid-fall.  
  
“Why’d I kiss ‘em, Mikey? Why’d I do that to him? I didn’t know...” Gee cries uncontrollably. “I didn’t know...”  
  
“Sir, I need you to come with me and answer some questions, okay? Can you do that for...” She looks to Mikey for a name.  
  
“Frank. _His_ Frankie,” Mikey states, motioning towards Gee. Slowly, Gee pulls himself out of the floor. The nurse leads them away. Gee looks over his shoulder once more as he walks away. He can see a slow pulse blipping across the heart monitor screen. For Gee, it is a small sign of hope.  
  
 _I love you, Frankie. Please don’t die on me. Please?!_


	29. I Could Hear You Breathe with Help from Cold Machines

The wait in the waiting room seems to be forever long. Ray had shown up not long after Mikey had called him, after Mikey and Gee had been shown into this private area. Gee is a nervous wreck, sitting in a chair and mumbling incoherently to himself. Mikey is pacing the floor, talking quietly to Ray, who is standing pretty calmly between Mikey and Gee. The tension in the room intensifies as a doctor splattered with Frank’s crimson blood enters the room. Mikey stops pacing, and Gee jumps to his feet.  
  
“Mr. Way?”  
  
“I’m Gerard,” Gee answers without hesitation.  
  
“Mr. Way, Mr. Iero is in stable but serious condition at the moment. The micro surgeons were able to close his wound fairly well. He lost a lot of blood, though. For now all we can do is transfuse more blood and wait to see how he does.”  
  
“Can we see him?” Mikey interjects.  
  
“For a few minutes. He’s still not conscious. However, he can still hear you, so make sure you talk to him. Encourage him to fight through this. If you’ll follow me this way...” The doctor turns and walks out of the room. The trio follows him closely.  
  
The doctor continues to talk as they walk. “Any idea what caused him to do this to himself?” Mikey throws a quick glance at Gee. If he tells the truth, Gee might not be allowed to see Frank, but lying might make things worse for Frank if he pulls through this critical time. For Gee’s sake, Mikey decides on the latter.  
  
“No sir,” Mikey simply lies.  
  
“Once he makes a recovery, we can get someone from psych to come talk with him to evaluate his mental state.” The doctor swipes a proximity card over an access point. The door beside it opens. The doctor holds the door open to the critical care unit and turns to address the guys. “You can only be in here a few minutes. Mr. Iero is being monitored by a lot of equipment, so there are a good many wires and tubes attached to him.” Gee has a sudden rush of nausea flood his body. He grabs the nearest arm for support, which happens to be Ray’s. Ray pats Gee’s hands with his free hand. Oblivious to Gee’s actions, the doctor continues, “Once you are finished visiting, a nurse will give you more instructions and show you to a different waiting area for this particular unit.”  
  
The doctor leads the three into the unit. It is fairly dark in each of the individual rooms. The only sounds are those of monitors beeping and ventilators buzzing. The doctor stops at a nurses’ station. He whispers something to the nurse and points towards the guys. The nurse nods and offers them a weak smile. The doctor redirects his attention back towards them.  
  
“He’s right in here.” The doctor motions towards the fourth room in the hall. Mikey and Ray enter the room cautiously. Gee is frozen in his tracks, bile from his stomach rising in his throat. Mikey reemerges from the room. Gee can only look down, unable to make eye contact with him. He notices more of Frank’s blood on Mikey’s shirt.  
  
“It’s okay, Gee. C’mon. He needs to know you’re here for him like he was there for you. It doesn’t mean anything. You’re here as his friend only, unless you choose for it to be more.” Gee at last is able to bring himself to meet Mikey’s gaze. Mikey can see all of Gee’s pain, fears, and guilt in his eyes. He puts his arm around Gee’s shoulders and leads him into the room.  
  
Frank looks as though he is simply sleeping, except for all the tubes and wires the doctor had mention. There is a large clear tube going into his mouth and down his throat helping him breathe. An IV tube steadily drips crimson fluid into his right arm. Another drips a clear liquid. His left wrist has been cleaned and rebandaged. Several differently-colored wires come out from under the blankets covering Frank, keeping a constant check on his heartbeat. There are others, but Gee doesn’t know what they are all for.  
  
Gee turns away, forcing the vomit trying to come up his throat again back down. He takes a deep breath as Mikey begins talking to Frank.  
  
“Frank, we’re here. Me, Ray, and even Gerard is here.” Gee turns at the sound of his name. Mikey motions for him to come closer. Reluctantly, he steps forward. Mikey takes Gee’s hand and puts it on Frank’s. Gee tries to resist, but relents rather quickly. A small part of him wants to touch Frank. The nurse appears in the door shortly after.  
  
“Is it time for us to go?” Ray asks quietly.  
  
“Not yet. I was just checking on Mr. Iero. His heart rate just steadied for the first time since he was brought in.” The nurse notices Gee’s hand on Frank’s. “Are you two close?” she asks politely. Gee doesn’t pay her much attention. He’s not sure how to answer, and he can’t steal his gaze from Frank’s face.  
  
“Yes, they are,” Mikey answers for him.  
  
“That must be it. I see it a lot in this unit. A patient’s vitals will improve with a known, comforting touch.” Gee turns to look at the nurse. She is a small woman with light brown hair, probably in her late 30’s. She offers Gee a warm smile. Something about her and her words, although Gee doesn’t know what, give him solace.


	30. As Snow Falls on Desert Sky

The guys are led to a new waiting room right outside of the critical care unit. There are a few windows on the outside walls letting in the last bit of sunlight left in the day. Scattered around the room are a couple dozen or so reclining chairs that stretch out far enough for a person to sleep in them. This late in the evening, most of the other visitors have gone home for the night. The next visiting time isn’t until almost midnight. The light brown haired nurse had led them back out and gave them the visitation rules: visitors are allowed in two per patient at a time for only fifteen minutes every four hours.  
  
“You gonna hang around here, Gerard?” Ray asks, knowing Gee isn’t leaving Frank alone. Gee weakly shakes his head yes. The idea that Frank is only yards away and he can’t be with him is gnawing at his insides.  
  
“You want one of us to stay here with you?” Mikey knows this is all very difficult for Gee, and company might be needed.  
  
“Naw, you guys go get some sleep. I have my cell if I need anything,” Gee mumbles, looking for a recliner as close to where he believes Frank’s room to be along the wall.  
  
Ray and Mikey both hug Gee. Mikey whispers in Gee’s ear to call him for anything, stressing the “anything.” Gee nods again. For all the lyrics, storylines, and comic ideas in his head, he can’t find words to speak right now.  
  
“We’ll be back first thing in the morning,” Ray states. Hesitantly, he and Mikey leave Gee sitting in a fog of thoughts.  
  
After a few minutes, Gee realizes the guys are gone. He reclines the chair, snuggling in as comfortably as he can. This whole evening has been a blur of a nightmare. Gee recalls Mikey telling a nurse Frank is “his Frankie.” He wonders what Mikey knows that he doesn’t. After all Mikey obviously knows they broke up. _Am I thinking about all this wrong? Are we destined to be together instead of just friends? Can this really work?_

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Mr. Way?” A gentle hand on his shoulder wakes Gee from a restless slumber. “Mr. Way, it’s visiting time again. I didn’t think you’d want to miss it.” The polite, light brown haired nurse is smiling sympathetically at Gee. As his mind finally processes what she had just said, Gee stands from the recliner. He doesn’t want to have to talk to Frank, so he hopes Frank is sleeping still. Inside his mind, Gee still wrestles with the idea of a more permanent relationship with Frank.  
  
“Is he awake yet?”  
  
“No, I’m sorry, Mr. Way. You want to come on in?” Gee looks at the door leading to the entrance of Frank temporary home away from home. “I’m sure Mr. Iero would like for you to.”  
  
Again, Gee is unable to force words from his lips. All he can do is step forward towards the door. The nurse steps up to the door and swipes her card like the doctor had before. The door opens, granting Gee access. Part of him wants to sprint for Frank’s room. Without a word, he begins walking faster, leaving the nurse trailing behind him. He doesn’t stop until he is at Frank’s side.  
  
Gee just stands by the bed, taking in the whole room as he stands alone this time next to Frank. On the other side of the bed is a small, light blue chair. Gee steps around the bed and sits down. Not knowing what to say or do, Gee becomes aware of his discomfort in his own skin. Given any other situation, he would flee, but he is unable to leave Frank’s side. He wishes he could turn invisible so no one could make him leave when the visiting time was up. As quiet as he can, he moves the chair closer to the side of the bed.  
  
Slowly, Gee reaches his shaking hand out for Frank’s. Half of his left hand and a third of his lower arm is wrapped in white gauze. His fingers are swollen and so white they almost look translucent. Gee notices the nurse standing in the door way. He wonders if she has been there the whole time.  
  
“You have a magic touch, Mr. Way. Mr. Iero must love you a lot and be very comfortable with you. His vitals are remarkably stronger when you are at his side,” she almost whispers. “I’ll leave you alone with him for now. My name is Becky, just in case you need anything.” Becky turns and walks out.  
  
Gee redirects his attention towards Frank. “You really love me _that_ much, Frankie?” Gee sighs heavily. “I don’t know if I can love you back the way you deserve, though.” A tear slides down Gee’s cheek, leaving a stinging trail. “You make all this seem so simple; is it really that simple?”  
  
Gee lays his head down on the bed so that Frank’s fingers are touching his cheek. _I’ll figure this out, Frankie. I will._ He closes his eyes, trying to find Frank’s scent, but all he can smell is hospital and sterile. Fatigue gradually overcomes Gee’s spent body and emotions.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Gee hears movement in Frank’s room. He opens his eyes to see the nurse, Becky he recalls, scurrying around. Gee moves a blanket covering him, wondering where it came from. A small movement under his cheek grabs his attention. He jerks his head up and looks at Frank’s hand. His index finger keeps moving in an unorganized way.  
  
“He’s waking, Mr. Way. With his vitals improved so with you here, I just couldn’t make you leave. It’s our little secret,” Becky says with a wink. Gee offers her a half smile. “He’s fighting the ventilator, so I need to remove it. Seeing that can be hard on some loved ones; are you going to stay?”  
  
“I’m not leaving,” Gee replies. Somehow his wish had come true; he isn’t going to leave now. He cuts his gaze to Frank. Frank’s eyes are slightly open, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of much around him. Gee, hoping Frank is not aware of his presence, slinks back in the chair as if trying to fade into it.  
  
“Mr. Iero,” Becky says in a slow manner, “I’m going to pull this tube out of your throat. If you can, I need you to cough for me. It will make it easier to pull out.” Becky grasps the tube close to Frank’s mouth and begins to pull it straight up. Frank starts gagging and coughing. Gee suddenly wishes he’d have stepped out. Seeing Frank like this and her pulling that tube from his throat is almost excruciating. Once the tube is out, Becky tosses it in a trash bin and wipes Frank’s mouth with wet cloth. Gee resists the urge to do it for her. Subconsciously, Gee wants to be the one taking care of Frank.  
  
“Mr. Iero, My name is Becky,” she states in the same slow manner as before. “I’m a nurse here at Clara Maass Medical Center. Do you remember trying to hurt yourself?” Frank looks at her intently. He just slightly flexes his left wrist. The movement goes unnoticed by Becky, but not by Gee. In an instant a knowing look crosses Frank’s face.  
  
“Where’s Gee?” Frank forces out the hoarse words. “I thought I heard him through my sleep.”


	31. By the Grace of God

“Where’s Gee?” Frank forces out the hoarse words. “I thought I heard him through my sleep.” Frank’s eyes roll around a little, like Frank can hardly control them. Becky looks at Gee. With panic written on his face, Gee urgently shakes his head no. Becky can read the pleading in his eyes. “Where’s Gerard?” Frank asks, this time more urgently.  
  
“Mr. Iero, visiting hours are over for now. I’m sure your friends will come back in to visit during the next visiting time,” Becky tries to calm Frank. “You really need some rest. Try to sleep and I’ll wake you when your friends come back in.” She pats Frank’s shoulder softly. Gee cringes, not wanting anyone else to touch Frank. Tossing Gee a brief smile, she leaves the room.  
  
Gee sit silently watching Frank from beside him, still tucked tightly into the back of the chair. Frank’s eyes blink heavily, opening less and less with each blink. Eventually, his eyes do not reopen. Gee remains still and quiet until he is certain Frank is sleeping soundly. He carefully stands from the chair and walks out into the hall. Becky is sitting at the nurses’ station. She stands when she sees him.  
  
“I’ll walk you out,” she states simply. Gee nods. He begins walking towards the door. As he reaches the end of the station, Becky joins him. To Gee’s surprise, Becky follows him out into the waiting area.  
  
“Mr. Way, I don’t know what happened between you two. Quite frankly, I don’t want to know for reasons of plausible deniability. But in my short time observing you together...” She hesitates, knowing what she is about to say is crossing professional boundaries, but she feels compelled to say it anyway. “You two need each other. Rarely have I seen true love in here. The two of you... well, there is something strong between you. I can feel it.”  
  
“It’s complicated,” Gee whimpers, sounding as if he is about to cry. Becky takes Gee’s hand with both of hers then squeezes it gently.  
  
“It normally is, Mr. Way. Love isn’t easy.” She offers him a comforting smile and turns to leave.  
  
“And what if it doesn’t work out?” Gee questions aloud.  
  
She stops for a second and turns to face Gee. “Then you gave it your best and had for a time what most people never find.”  
  
Dumbfounded, Gee watches her scan her card and disappear back into the unit.

 _Why on earth would she say something like that to me? She doesn’t know me or Frankie._ Gee looks at his watch; 6:47 AM it read. He knows the guys will be getting up soon. The next visiting time is at eight. He pulls his phone from his pocket, deciding to go ahead and tell Mikey that Frank had woke up.  
  
Mikey sounds half asleep when he answers the phone. Gee informs Mikey of the encouraging news but doesn’t mention him he was in there when Frank had awoken. Mikey’s tone peps right up. He tells Gee he’ll call Ray to let him know and they should be up there shortly with some breakfast.  
  
Gee hangs up the phone and sits down to consider if he should go in to see Frank now that he is conscious again. Obviously Frank wants to see him; he was asking for him when he first woke up. Gee doesn’t want to make things worse. None of this changes that they are broken up. He and Frank would have to talk about it all first.

 _Frank is obviously in no condition to be having a conversation about that now._  
  
Gee mindlessly picks up a magazine and thumbs through it. Not really even looking at it, Gee’s mind keeps thinking about what he should do. He glances at this watch again. This time it reads 7:39.

 _Mikey and Ray should be here already._ The waiting room is beginning to fill up with other patients’ loved ones. He tosses the magazine back down on the table and heads to a window to look out. A voice from behind him greets him.  
  
“Mornin’ Gee. You get any rest?” Mikey looks rather optimistic this morning.  
  
“Some. You have any coffee?” Gee asks, spying what Mikey had brought in.  
  
“Of course.” Mikey hands Gee a cup of coffee. “So he’s doing good?”  
  
“Becky says he is.” Mikey looks at Gee strangely. “Oh, Becky is his nurse from last night. Where’s Ray?”  
  
“He should be here in a little bit. He knew he was going to miss this first time slot this morning.”  
  
Gee sighs and confesses his thoughts to Mikey, “I’m not sure I need to go in there. I mean...” He sighs heavily again. “...this is my fault.” Gee hesitates, knowing that Frank was asking for him earlier. “What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Mikey thinks Gee sounds like he wants to go see Frank.  
  
“Why don’t you come in with me and just stand outside the room. I can feel everything out first,” Mikey offers. He wants Gee to come in, and he’s certain Frank would appreciate it. The door to the critical care unit opens, signaling the start of the visiting time window. “Well?”  
  
“Okay,” Gee reluctantly agrees. Together, they walk into the unit.


	32. Living Was the Hardest Part

Gee stops just short of Frank’s room, trying to find a place he could see in but not be seen. He finds a spot on the glass front room the curtain doesn’t quite cover and watches Mikey enter the room. Frank is somewhat awake already; the bed is propping him in a semi-upright position. Mikey’s presence causes Frank to shirk in shame. His gaze drops to his lap, and his right hand covers his left one with the blanket. Mikey pulls Frank’s head to his chest, offering him comfort and reassurance.  
  
Gee can see them talking but can’t hear what is being said. He contemplates abandoning this spot for one closer to the door. He feels a warm, gentle touch on his shoulder. He turns to see Becky; she is apparently getting ready to leave, carrying her belongings over her arm. Gee tries to smile at her.  
  
“You need to go in there. He hasn’t stopped asking for you since he woke up.” She gives Gee a reassuring grin. “Just go talk to him. And I wish you two the best of luck.”  
  
Gee doesn’t know how to respond. He turns to steal a glance at Frank as a single tear escapes his eye. When he looks back, Becky is gone.  
  
“Who are you lookin’ for?” Mikey questions, walking up to Gee. Gee shakes his head.  
  
“No one. How’s he doin’?”  
  
“He’d be doin’ a hell of a lot better if you’d go talk to him. He won’t stop asking about you: if you’re here, where you are, how you’re doin’. Just go in there. There’s not much time left, so you won’t be in there too long anyway.” Gee nods.

 _Mikey is right._  
  
Nervously, Gee makes his way to the door and steps into the room. Frank has shut his eyes once again. Gee just watches him breath.

 _He looks so peaceful._ Frank’s lips part just slightly as he draws in a deep breath. Without opening his eyes, he speaks.  
  
“I know you’re here. I can smell you.” Gee smirks slightly. He steps closer towards the bed and places his left hand on top of Frank’s right one. Frank turns his hand over to wrap his fingers around the side of Gee’s hand. His eyes slowly appear from beneath his pale eyelids.  
  
“I didn’t do this for attention, or sympathy, or you to come back to me. I just—” Frank tries to apologize, but Gee cuts him off.  
  
“Stop it, Frank. I did this... or I might as well of put that blade to your arm myself anyway. I shouldn’t have done what I did, and I know that now... even if you weren’t there.”  
  
“Who is she, Gee?” Gee can hear Frank feebly trying to hide his jealousy and pain.  
  
“No one, Frankie. She’s the drug, not you,” his apathy for her evident in his voice. Gee feels tears welling up in his eyes, daring to spill down his cheeks.

 _Tell him I was a complete idiot. Tell him I love him. Tell him I want to fix it._  
  
“Gee?” Mikey speaks up. “Gee, time’s up. We have to go.” Gee doesn’t want to leave. He wants to cuddle Frank up in his lap and make everything okay again.  
  
“Come back next time, please?” Frank pleads. He knows Gee doesn’t want to leave. He knows Gee too well sometimes it seems. “I might be moved to a regular room soon. That’s what the doctor told me anyway,” Frank says, trying to comfort Gee. “Then you can stay all you want.”  
  
Gee can no longer contain himself or his tears. They roll down his face, leaving behind streaks of fire. He practically throws himself down on top of Frank, forcing one arm behind Frank’s shoulders and his other hand behind Frank's head, drawing him in close to his own body.  
  
“I’m sorry, Frankie, I’m so sorry I hurt you,” he sobs. “I love you. I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. I don’t even know if I can undo what I’ve done.” Gee’s body is trembling in Frank’s arms.  
  
“Shh! We’ll get it fixed,” Frank whispers. “One step at a time.” His words are so kind and loving. Gee raises his head to look into Frank’s eyes. Frank raises his head to close the distance between his lips and Gee’s, stopping just short in hesitation. Gee senses Frank wavering and presses his lips to Frank’s. “I love you, too,” Frank mutters against Gee’s lips.  
  
“Gee, I’m sorry, but we really have to go,” Mikey insists as easy as he can manage. He puts his arm around Gee as Gee stands back up from Frank’s bed. Frank catches Gee’s hand; he doesn’t want Gee to leave as much as Gee wants to stay. Their eyes lock.  
  
“I’ll be right here when you get back.” Mikey nearly pulls Gee out of the room. Frank tries to watch Gee as long as he can.  
  
A thousand thoughts circle his mind.

_Does Gee really mean what he said? Is he only talking from a place of direst over me slitting my wrist? If I give him another chance, is it just going to end the same way again?_


	33. And What I'll Do to You

As they reenter the waiting room and walk over to one of the windows, Mikey speaks up.  
  
“You did good in there, Gerard.” He grins at Gee.  
  
“I know I love him, Mikey. I know I want to be with him. I’m just afraid. I’m afraid it will tear the band apart. I’m afraid it will destroy our friendship. I’m afraid it will destroy everything we all have worked so hard for,” Gee confesses as his eyes threaten to release more tears to burn his cheeks again. Mikey embraces his brother for a moment, and then steps back to address him again.  
  
“Do you want me to be honest with you, Gerard?” Gee nods. Mikey has yet to be open with him about how he felt about all of this. “That morning in the café, when I found you getting him coffee, I was pissed. I thought the same things you are thinking now. This would tear apart everything we had done for ourselves. But I have watched you together these last few weeks, and I’m not... I just... those things don’t bother me anymore, Gee.” Gee looks at Mikey slightly confused and encouraged at the same time. Mikey continues, “I’ve come to understand you belong with each other. I really think it will all work out.”  
  
“I think so, too,” Ray chimes in. Mikey had seen him walk up, carrying a tray of coffees, but Gee’s back had been to him. “Coffee?” Ray offers stepping around to face Gee and Mikey better.  
  
“Just the poison I need. Thanks,” Gee jests light-heartedly, a small grin gracing his lips as he takes a cup.  
  
“So how’s he doin’?” Ray asks. He sits the other two coffees still in the tray on the table.  
  
“The doctor’s are thinkin’ ‘bout letting him out of critical care, so... good,” Mikey answers. “And I believe Gee and Frank might have made up.” Mikey winks at Gee.  
  
“That’s great!” Ray exclaims loudly. A few other people in the waiting room turn and look their direction. Ray blushes just slightly; Gee and Mikey just chuckle quietly. “I’ve always been happy for the two a’ you,” Ray comments, speaking more softly than before. “You’ve always seemed to have a closer, almost special, relationship than the rest of did.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

The door opens for the next visitation time. Mikey suggests Ray and Gee go in first, since Ray hadn’t seen him during the first visitation time this morning and Gee’s hardly able to bear not being in there with him. They all agree, and Gee and Ray walk towards the door.  
  
“Mr. Way?” A stern voice calls out.  
  
“Yes?” Gee answers perplexed.  
  
“Mr. Gerard Way?” a large security guard verifies, speaking directly to Gee.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Sir, I’m afraid you are restricted from visiting Mr. Iero until further notice,” he states rather coldly.  
  
Gee can feel his blood racing into his face as anger builds in his system. He turns to look at Mikey and Ray, knowing he will only make things worse if he speaks right now.  
  
“I’ll find out what’s going on,” Mikey assures Gee and storms through the door to the unit followed closely by Ray. Gee just stands looking at the door. The security guard doesn’t move either, never taking his eyes off Gee.  
  
Not wanting to antagonize a guard that could probably kill him bare-handedly with little effort, Gee sulks back over to his coffee where he had left it with Mikey. He snatches the coffee off the table, taking a large sip, and begins pacing the floor.  
  
After only a few minutes, Mikey and Ray reemerge from the unit, looking rather flustered and a bit defeated.  
  
“Well? What’s goin’ on?” Gee impatiently asks about what they learned.  
  
“Well...” Mikey tries to think before he says anything. “...they are movin’ him out of critical care... to the psychiatric unit. According to the nurse in there now, when someone from psych came to talk to him, he told them the real reason he did it. They think you’ll be a threat to his ‘mental safety’ right now.” Mikey’s tone sounds sarcastic as he says the last bit. “When Frank heard them say you couldn’t come in anymore, he lost it. They gave him something to calm him down. By the time we got in there, he was damn near catatonic.” Mikey is obviously infuriated by the time he stops talking. But not nearly as irate as Gee.  
  
“Now what the hell do we do?” Gee doesn’t care who hears him. “I was in there ALL FUCKING NIGHT with him, and there were no problems! ASK BECKY!” Gee screams towards the unit door. Mikey looks at Gee, shocked at this new information.  
  
“You were in there all night? With Frank?” Mikey’s not sure he had Gee right.  
  
“Yeah, and not a damn thing happened!” Gee nearly shouts at Mikey.  
  
“Why didn’t you say somethin’ to me? Where you in there when he woke up?”  
  
Gee shrugs. “I-I just...” he stutters, not sure himself why he didn’t say anything. “...didn’t know h-how he... how _you’d_ react, how... I was supposed to react.”  
  
“We can discuss the how’s and why’s later. Right now, let’s just go find the psych unit,” Ray recommends. “We can find out who we need to talk to then.”


	34. Now Honestly

“If you’re not crazy before, just bein’ in _here_ will make you crazy,” Gee remarks about the small office he, Mikey, and Ray have been shown into. There is a small, metal desk with only a computer monitor on it and an uncomfortable looking chair pushed under it. The walls are an eggshell color and completely bare, with not so much as a window.  
  
“Gerard, just mind your attitude if you say anything,” Mikey tries to keep Gee in check. “I’ll try to do most of the talking, though.”  
  
“Fine! I’m pissed anyway. What the hell are they thi—" Gee’s rant is interrupted by a short knock on the door, followed by it opening slowly.  
  
“Is this the group with Mr. Lero?” an older man with salt and pepper hair asks.  
  
“Iero? Yes,” Ray answers back.  
  
“I apologize for the mispronunciation. Yes, I’m Dr. Williams. I was told you wanted to speak with me. What can I do for you fellas?”  
  
Mikey begins explaining, “Sir, Frank and my brother here, Gerard, are a couple. They had a bit of a falling out, which led us to this particular situation. Now they have deemed Gerard a ‘danger’ to Frank and that couldn’t be further from the truth. And as drugged up as Frank seemed to be the last time we saw him a few hours ago, what harm could lettin’ Gerard in to see him be?”  
  
Gee stares intently at the aging man. He looks as though he has seen his share of hardships over the years. Gee notices a jagged scar just under the right edge of the man’s jaw. It was obviously from a traumatic experience of some sort. He has fine lines in his skin around his tired looking, grey eyes. The grey eyes shift to meet Gee’s gaze.  
  
Speaking to no one in particular, Dr. WIlliams responds to Mikey’s question, “Unfortunately it is hospital policy. If Mr. Way here is somehow involved in what caused Mr. Iero to do this to himself, he cannot have contact with the patient.” Gee can’t stop his rage from exploding.  
  
“I was in there ALL night last night, and nothin’ bad happened! I was in there this mornin’ after he woke up, and nothin’ bad happened! The nurse even told me, he was better when I was in there! What the hell else do I have to do to prove to you that I’m not a threat to him?” Gee takes a deep breath, allowing himself to cry softly. Mikey puts his arm around him and speaks with a hushed tone to Gee.  
  
“Gee, we’ll get this straightened out, but you have to calm down. Okay? Just breath.” Mikey turns his attention towards the doctor again. “Sir, no disrespect, but Frank doesn’t need to be separated from Gerard. And the amount of drugs you had to give to him is because you separated them. How can you sit there and tell me he is better off in that comatose state? Than with his soul mate, really?” Mikey draws in a deep breath, feeling his emotions beginning to rise. He tosses a glance at Gee, then makes one final statement. “Sir, if Gerard causes a problem, _then_ you can banish him; but if you are going based off of who was involved before Frank attempted suicide, then you’ll have to forbid all of us, because we all had a part in it. And if you do that, I guarantee you, Frank will _never_ recover!”  
  
Dr. Williams looks intently at the three men, one at a time. “Gentlemen, if you will excuse me,” Dr. Williams apologies, as he stands from the desk. “I need to confer with a colleague of mine. I’ll be right back.”  
  
As soon as the door clicks closed, Gee slumps into a chair, sobbing quietly to himself. Mikey kneels down in front of him as Ray steps over and puts a hand on Gee’s shoulder.  
  
“Gee, it’ll be okay. No matter what they say, he won’t be in here forever. They can’t keep you apart forever.”  
  
“We can keep fighting for you to be allowed to see him, too,” Ray adds. No one says anything else. The silence is deafening and awkward. Gee’s anxiety quickly grows. He starts pacing the floor, unable to take more than three steps in any direction in the small office.  
  
“I need some air; I’m suffocating in here,” he announces, grabbing for the door knob. He slings the door open and nearly runs into Dr. Williams, who stands with a startled look on his face. He was obviously about to reenter the room.  
  
“S-sorry,” Gee mumbles and steps backwards back into the room.  
  
Before he has entered the room completely, Dr Williams has begun addressing the guys. “I have good news of sorts,” he proclaims in a stoic, elder voice, settling in to the chair behind the desk.” I have been able to get Mr. Way, uh Gerard, clearance to visit Mr. Iero under supervision. If and when he proves he isn’t a threat, we’ll remove the order for supervision.” He looks directly at Gee, “Is that an acceptable compromise for you, Mr. Way?”  
  
Gee wants to hug the doctor. He could care less if a hundred people stand there watching, as long as he is allowed to see Frank. “Y-yes sir! Oh, that’s great!” He turns to Mikey, who immediately embraces him in a relief.  
  
“Gentlemen, a nurse should come get you soon to show you to his new room. He was to be moved before I came to talk with you.” He shakes hands with each of the guys, who all thank him repeated.


	35. Lost in the Prescription

Gee can’t believe what they have done to Frank. If his heart didn’t bleed so much for Frank, he’d be irate. Frank lies in the bed. His eyes blink in slow motion, and a small trickle of saliva seems to be always running out of the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t react to hardly anything; his only reactions are almost robotic, like his body is just following a distant memory of motion.  
  
The large security guard from the critical care unit door eyes Gee warily. Gee wipes Frank’s face once more, whispering to Mikey, “We can’t leave him here like this. Either they stop givin’ him whatever they are giving him, or I’m smugglin’ him out of here.” The guard grunts suspiciously at his inaudible words, but Gee continues uncaring. “He’s not a danger to himself.” Mikey slightly scowls at Gee’s comment.  
  
“I can’t say he’s

 _not_ a danger to himself, but not enough to deserve this kind of treatment. But what can we do ‘bout it?” a rhetorical tone in Mikey’s voice.  
  
“We can take him out of here,” Gee states matter-of-factly.  
  
“Even so,” Mikey whispers, “we need to wait until he’s recovered enough physically.” Gee cuts his eyes at Mikey. He has no intent of continuing to let them drug Frank beyond oblivion. “C’mon Gee, think rationally for a minute. It’s been less than two days since he did this to himself. He hasn’t been is his right mind since, so we don’t know what kind of state his mind is in.”  
  
Gee’s face drops. He knows Mikey is right, like always. But there has to be something they can do. He sits thinking for a minute. Suddenly his face brightens up. Mikey knows Gee just had an idea.  
  
“Has anyone spoke to his mother?” Mikey wonders why Gee would ask such an off the wall question, but figures Gee has a scheming plan in mind.  
  
“I don’t think so. Why?”  
  
“If Frank can’t make decisions for himself, someone has to...” Gee states suggestively. Mikey’s eyes widen with enlightenment.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Gee and Mikey wait impatiently in the waiting room for Frank’s mother to arrive. She has only been made aware of this situation upon Gee’s phone call. Gee knows Linda will put a stop to all this nonsense at once, but it will come at a price. Linda will be Frank’s primary care provider now. Somehow Gee considers this a small price to pay for a lucid Frank. Mikey starts hitting at Gee’s upper arm.  
  
“Here she comes...” Mikey proclaims, standing to his feet and moving towards her.  
  
“Hi, Ms. Iero,” Mikey greets, offering her a warm hug.  
  
“How many times have I told you to call me Linda?” she laughs softly. Her face then turns serious. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”  
  
“In all the commotion, I just forgot,” Gee weakly makes excuses.  
  
“Well, I’m here now. How can I help?” Linda has always been protective of Frank, and Gee is relieved she has finally been brought in to the circle.  
  
“Do you know anymore than what I told you on the phone?” Gee asks, afraid he’s going to have to reveal his and Frank’s relationship to Frank’s mother.  
  
“Frankie told me you two had hooked up. I haven’t spoken to him since last week though.” Her eyes lock with Gee’s. “Did somethin’ happen between you?”  
  
Gee sighs heavily. He doesn’t want to relive the last few days, but knows he must. “I told him I needed a break, Linda. Then...” Gee’s head drops, breaking eye contact with Linda. With a mother’s loving touch, Linda puts her arms around Gee, assuming that was the end of the story. Gee wasn’t about to volunteer it wasn’t either.  
  
“So, where is my son?” Linda sounds impatient. “I didn’t come up here to catch up.”  
  
“Follow us,” Mikey instructs as respectfully as he can. Mikey leads the way around a corner, down the hall, and up to Frank’s door. He hesitates, thinking he should warn Linda of Frank’s condition before she enters to room. “Linda, I’ll be honest. We brought you here with an agenda. Frank has been drugged almost into a comatose state. Gee and I” Mikey nods towards Gee with his head,” have no authority so no one can stop them...”  
  
“...except me,” Linda sounds determined. A small curl curves Gee’s lips. Linda barges her way past the door and the security guard, stopping dead when her eyes catch sight of Frank. Barely able to speak, her voice is barely audible, “How... how long has he been like this?”  
  
“Since this morning,” Mikey answers, the disgust evident.  
  
“If you can’t stop this Linda,” Gee confesses, “I will take him outta here, with or without permission.  
  
“If I can’t stop this, _I_ will take him outta here!”


	36. I'm Taking Back the Life You Stole

Linda is Frank’s guardian angel. Within fifteen minutes of being in Frank’s room, she has brought all of Frank’s “treatment” to a grinding halt. Then, she explicitly demands ALL of her son’s care decisions would be made by her _alone_. Gee cheekily grins in victory as Linda makes her first decision: Gee is NOT a threat to her son and would not be treated as one. The guard was to leave Frank’s room at once.  
  
Within hours, Frank begins to be reanimated. First his eyes seem to focus. Then his movement is less robotic. The first real sign of Frank returning to reality is him calling Gee, reaching his arms out ahead of him in Gee’s direction. As if all the hesitation and doubts have been erased, Gee gently falls into Frank’s embrace, hugging him back and pressing his lips to Frank’s. Gee can hear Linda hum in motherly approval. She has always supported Frank, even when he brought home his first boyfriend. She moves over closer to the bed.  
  
“Aww, my baby...” she croons, stealing Frank’s attention from Gee.  
  
“Mom,” Frank whimpers, “I’m sorry.”  
  
“Now stop that, Frank,” Linda replies in a motherly, comforting way. “What’s done is done. We need to get you better.” She readjusts the sheets covering Frank. Frank smiles crookedly, the drugs in his system still messing with his mind.  
  
“Ms. Iero?” a voice from the door calls. They all turn to see Dr. Williams standing there. “May I speak with you for a moment?” Linda nods, then turns her attention back to Frank for a moment.  
  
“I’ll be right back, honey.” She places a quick kiss on Frank’s cheek and then stands and leaves the room.  
  
Gee and Mikey can hear the conversation play out in the hall. Dr. Williams is insisting the guard needs to remain in the room for the time being and Frank’s treatment should continue. Linda is adamant the guard will remain gone and Frank doesn’t need their so called treatment.

 _How can he get better if he can’t think?_ she questions, to which the doctor has no response. She reminds the doctor she is in charge now in a stern voice and reenters the room, leaving the doctor in the hall.

 

\------------------------------------------------

The following day, Mikey, Ray, Gee, and Linda visit together. Frank is nearly back to his normal self. Gee is relieved to see him smiling and joking with everyone. _How can they think this is bad?_ he thinks as he watches Frank smile. After a while of visiting, Linda suggests Frank and Gee need some time alone. Gee smiles gratefully and hugs her.  
  
“You two make up,” she instructs in Gee’s ear. “I can’t have my two favorite boys in the world fighting, now can I?” She lets go of Gee and waves Mikey and Ray out of the room.  
  
As soon as everyone is gone, Frank begins shifting uncomfortably in the bed.  
  
“I can leave, too, if you want,” Gee offers. He believes his presence is the cause of Frank’s sudden uneasiness. Frank chuckles faintly.  
  
“I need to go to the bathroom, Gee. A nurse came in early this morning and took out the catheter. And I refuse to use that damn urinal.” He motions towards the plastic bottle hanging on the side of the bed.  
  
“I’ll help you.” Gee helps Frank stand from the bed. Even though his legs are still somewhat shaky, Frank is able to hold himself up fairly well. Gee doesn’t take any risks, though. He holds onto Frank for dear life. Carefully he pulls Frank close to his body for extra support, then let’s go with one hand to open the bathroom door. Once the door is open, Gee continues moving into the bathroom. He stops as he realizes Frank is not.  
  
“You okay?” Gee’s voice is more unsteady than Frank’s legs. Frank is intently taking Gee in. A hint of a smile graces Frank’s lips.  
  
“You sure you’re okay with this... with us?” He knows the answer before he asks the question.  
  
“I’m here, ain’t I?” Gee retorts, love filling his voice. As the words fall off his lips, he knows that wasn’t a good enough answer, not after what he has put Frank through in the last week. So he adds, “I love you. I will always be here for you.” A silly grin grows on Frank’s lips, recognizing his own words. His gaze shift towards the bathroom. His smile quickly vanishes as his cheeks flush in embarrassment.  
  
“I need a shower.”  
  
“Right after you pee, I’ll help you.” Gee kisses the tip of Frank’s nose.  
  
“Um, Gee? I did already.” Gee doesn’t waver.  
  
“It’s okay. We’ll fix it.”  
  
They make their way slowly into the bathroom. Gee turns the water on and helps Frank reposition a shower seat that is in the stall. He unties Frank’s hospital gown and helps him sit.  
  
“Just enjoy the warm water a minute. I’m gonna get you some clean clothes... well, a clean gown.” Gee leans down, kissing the top of Frank’s head. The water gets some of his hair wet.  
  
Gee scurries out to the nurses’ station. “I need a clean gown for Frank.” A nurse raises her eyebrow at Gee, eyeing his wet hair. Gee doesn’t care what she thinks. “I need to get back in there to help him, so if someone can bring it in and leave it on the bed would be just great.” With that, he hurries back off, not giving the nurse a chance to answer.  
  
As Gee steps back into the bathroom, he can see Frank rolling his head back and forth, taking in all the comfort the warm water offers his muscles, sore from being in a bed for the last few days. He stands for a moment, contemplating the logistics of helping Frank shower.  
  
“Uh, Frank?”  
  
“Yeah, Gee?”  
  
“Do I need to take my clothes off?” Frank chuckles at Gee’s sudden modesty.  
  
“Unless you want them wet, I would.”  
  
Unsure of why he is so suddenly shy, Gee removes his clothing and steps into the shower with Frank.


	37. You're Beautiful

Gee washes Frank’s body. Poignant memories of Frank doing the same for him flood his mind. He delicately washes Frank’s arms, growing concerned that he hadn’t done anything to protect the bandage covering his wrist. Gee continues on, kneeling to wash Frank’s legs and feet. As he looks back up to stand, Frank’s face hovers just barely above Gee’s. Frank leans in, their lips making contact. Frank’s tongue parts Gee’s lips and searches for Gee’s tongue. Allowing him to find it, Gee wraps a hand around the back of Frank’s head, curling his hair around his fingers.  
  
“I need to wash your hair,” Gee says as their lips part, trying to maintain some semblance of control over his now raging desires. But his tongue and his hand wrapped tightly around Frank's locks of hair has already informed Frank of them.  
  
Frank coyly allows Gee to wash his hair as he plans his next move. He knows despite his lack of strength right now, he wants Gee to fuck him as much as Gee wants to fuck him.  
  
“Lean your head back a little so I can rinse out the shampoo,” Gee directs, breaking into Frank’s thoughts. Frank does as instructed. His eyes close in response to the soothing feeling of Gee’s hands running through his hair. When all the shampoo has been washed away, Gee gently pushes Frank’s head back forward and tries to wring some of the water out of Frank’s hair.  
  
“Fuck me, Gee...” Frank is as stunned as Gee, not meaning for the words to have escaped his throat. He holds his breath, afraid of Gee’s reaction. Gee comes back around front of Frank and kneels in the shower stall again. Their gazes meet. Frank is relieved to not see any panic or hesitation in Gee’s expression but instead Gee’s member stiffening.  
  
“...if you want me to... but we don’t have any lube.”  
  
“Is there any hair conditioner? You can use that” Frank suggests, not wanting the moment to get away. Gee smirks and reaches out of the shower. His hand returns with a small bottle from the towel rack. He places the bottle on the edge of the shower. Gee helps Frank stand and brace himself against the shower wall, sliding the shower chair aside. Gee grabs the small bottle, flipping the cap open and rubbing the contents copiously on himself.  
  
“You ready?” he mutters in Frank’s ear. Frank just nods.  
  
Gee slides his arms around Frank, letting his hands rest on the front of Frank’s hips. As his phallus penetrates Frank’s tightness, he feels his raging passions give way to loving desire. Slowly, he moves his hips, drawing himself slowly in and out of Frank. A soft moan crosses Frank’s lips. Something about this is different. Gee recognizes this is more about love than sex. He continues thrusting leisurely and rhythmically.  
  
Gee runs his right hand down Frank’s arm bracing him against the wall. Frank’s body begins to tremble, and Gee pauses. He fears Frank is physically unable to keep going.  
  
“...don’t stop...” Frank mumbles through another moan. Gee resumes his motions. Frank leans his head back, resting it on Gee’s shoulder. Gee places a adoring kiss on Frank’s wet cheek, then rests his head against Frank’s, never ceasing the motion of his hips. Gee feels his breath catch as his body releases in Frank’s. For Gee, it is the most amazing orgasm he has ever experienced.  
  
As his senses return, he feels Frank’s weak body begin to give way. He catches him and turns Frank’s body to face him in one smooth move.  
  
“Let’s get rinsed off and get you outta here,” he murmurs in Frank’s ear. Within moments, Gee cuts the water off and reaches for a towel. He wraps it around Frank and helps him sit on the shower seat. Gee grabs another towel, quickly drying off and throwing his clothes back on. He steps out of the bathroom to grab the gown the nurse was supposed to bring in.  
  
In the room, Linda and a nurse are having a slightly heated debate.  
  
“...he is helping him wash. Is my son not entitled to shower?” Linda snaps, ignoring that Gee just entered the room.  
  
“Yes, but _he’s—"_ the nurse points at Gee. Linda cuts her off.  
  
“—helping him wash?! Frank is unable to do it for himself. _I’m_ not going to wash my full grown son, are you?” she retorts.  
  
“We’re done anyway,” Gee mutters meekly. “May I have the gown now so I can dress him?” Gee reaches for the gown the irritated nurse is holding. She half tosses it to him.  
  
“I’ll be back momentarily. I will need to rebandage his wound,” she states resolutely as she turns to walk out of the room. Gee shifts his gaze to Linda, who tosses him a knowing yet amused glance. Gee hurriedly returns to Frank.  
  
“What was that about?” Frank asks weakly.  
  
Gee chuckles. “Your mom was covering for us. And apparently she knows we were having sex in the shower.” Frank’s face blushes. “It’s okay, she’s okay with it.” Gee helps Frank into the gown and ties it up.  
  
With the same caution as entering, Gee helps Frank exit the bathroom and back onto the bed. Just as he’s settling back in, the nurse reenters the room carrying a few supplies, followed by Linda.  
  
“Let’s get this dressing changed,” her attitude change telling them Linda had had a word with her in the hall. Gee pulls a chair up to the right side of Frank’s bed. Carefully, the nurse cuts the old, wet gauze away. As she pulls it off Frank’s wrist, Gee has an immediate pang of nausea. This is the first time he has seen Frank’s wound. Frank seems completely unphased by any of it.  
  
The inside of Frank’s wrist is dark purple. The cut starts on the lower edge of his palm just past his thumb and is jagged. Gee assumes the jaggedness is from Frank hesitating before cutting all the way across. The cut then runs slightly diagonally down across his wrist and on around the side of his arm. About every quarter inch is a small clear suture.  
  
The nurse places Frank’s wrist over a plastic pan and pours some saline over it, washing away any contaminants. Frank cuts his gaze to Gee just in time to see a shiver run down Gee’s back and him turn away, his eyes shut tightly. Frank laces his fingers through Gee’s.  
  
“I’m sorry, Frankie, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Gee begins muttering repeated, not moving his head or opening his eyes. Frank raises his hand from Gee’s long enough to pull Gee’s face towards him, then laces their fingers once again. His gaze catches Gee’s.  
  
“It’s alright. I lived.” Frank’s voice is tender and loving. The nurse finishes wrapping his wrist with new gauze and tapes the ends down.  
  
Gee tries to smile at Frank but is horrified. He’s not sure what he thought it was going to look like, but Frank’s wound is definitely more than he expected it to be. He knows for sure, though, he now has a permanent reminder on Frank’s body of how much Frank means to him.


	38. All the Wounds That Are Ever Gonna Scar Me

Frank can read the horror on Gee’s face at the sight of his wrist. He already knew what it looked like for the most part. He had done it afterall; then he had stood watching it bleed until he lost consciousness. The nurse finishes up. Frank flexes his wrist back and forth once; the pain reminds him Gee being back isn’t just a dream. When he had first awoken in critical care, he could have sworn Gee was there. But then, he had been dreaming of Gee most of the time he’d been unconscious.  
  
“Mom?” Frank turns his attention away from Gee for a moment. Moving to the place on the floor the nurse had just vacated, Linda answers her son’s call.  
  
“Yeah, sweetie?”  
  
“Mom, could I have a little more time alone with Gerard?” Frank requests, his eyes pleading with his mother. Gee’s head snaps up, his eyes jumping between Linda and Frank.  
  
“Of course, honey. Just... let’s save anymore _making up_ until you get home, okay?” Gee somewhat chuckles, casting his eyes downward as Frank’s cheeks fill with red again.  
  
“Yes, ma’am,” he mutters, unable to say anything else on the subject. Linda kisses each of the guys on his forehead and leaves the room, leaving a cloud of awkwardness between them.  
  
“Gerard, we need to talk about this,” Frank finally says, lifting his left arm slightly off the bed.  
  
“Frankie, I’ve already said I was sorry. I learned my lesson. What else do I need to say?” Gee says in a pathetic yet pleading tone.  
  
“I’m not trying to argue. I just think we need to air it out, so it can be put to rest for good. I don’t want this to be a doubt between us, for either of us.” Gee’s eyes meet Frank’s concerned gaze. Gee can see Frank is being honest and trying to head off potential issues down the road. “I’ll start...” Frank sits quietly for a few moments. As he begins speaking, Gee watches a veil of darkness fall over his face, and his gaze grows distant.  
  
“I gave Mikey the blade I had in my hand after you left. I knew I had more in my drawer anyway. I was hurting, physically, like you had ripped my heart right out of my chest. I convinced Mikey I just needed some time alone. I was okay when I thought you were hurting, too. Then you showed up with _her_. I felt like my chest was being crushed. I couldn’t breathe, like my lungs didn’t have room to expand.” Frank draws in a deep breath and slowly lets it back out, as if testing to make sure his lungs still function. He continues to stare off into nothing, watching his memories play out in his mind. “I don’t know what I was thinking by that point. I guess... I wasn’t.” A hot tear slides down Frank’s cheek. “I flung open the drawer of the nightstand and dug out another blade. I put it to my arm and began to draw it across...”  
  
“Frankie, stop. Please!” Gee pleads. “I can’t stand to hear any more...” he mumbles between sobs. Frank hadn’t realized Gee had been sobbing until he speaks. Frank’s gaze focuses on Gee. He looks beaten and broken, almost like Frank had slapped him and cursed at him. “I was looking for something to drink when I found your note. You were slicing your arm as I read it, but I didn’t know that then. I was upset and confused. I came as soon as Mikey called, before we even got off the phone. I stayed the whole time. I never left the hospital, Frankie. _I never left you!_ ” Gee wipes the snot running down his face from his sobbing on the edge of Frank’s sheet. “The nurse kept talking to me, telling me how much you cared, how much better you were when I was in there. I slept that night with your hand between my hand and my face most of the night. I was there when you woke up. I heard you calling for me, but I couldn’t speak. _I had done this to you!_ How could you still _love_ me? How could _I_ live with what I had _done_ to you? I should have been the one on that bed, Frankie, not you... not you...” Gee’s head collapses on Frank’s lap, his whole body shaking from his crying.  
  
Frank’s gently strokes his hair, whispering words of apology and solace to Gee. All this time, he thought he needed to explain it to Gee. He never thought Gee would have taken so much personal responsibility in all of it. He starts to shift over in his bed, causing Gee to raise his head.  
  
“Come here,” Frank calls softly. Gee climbs up in the bed and under the covers beside Frank. Frank holds Gee’s still trembling body, whispering sweet nothings in his ear until Gee’s breathing evens out and his eyes close in sleep. Frank shifts again so he can see Gee’s face. He looks peaceful for the first time Frank can remember since he had woke up. He takes in all of Gee’s face as he thinks, beginning to once again stroke Gee’s dark locks.  
  
 _I didn’t realize Gee was so upset about us breaking up. He seemed so okay with it all. And he stayed with me all night? How’d he get away with it? Knowing Gee, he fought to not leave, the stubborn fucker. And now that I think about, Gee has been here to care for me, here at my every beck and call. The whole way he carries himself has changed. He’s finally beginning to give in to ‘us’ it seems._ Frank gracefully places his lips to Gee’s in an unreturned kiss for a brief moment.  
  
As he lifts his head the nurse comes in to check Frank’s vital. “He cannot be in the bed with you, sir.” Frank tries to shush her and points to Gee’s eyes to indicate he’s asleep. “Sir, he has to get—"

  
“No. He doesn’t,” a voice commands from around the corner. Linda steps in the door. “I make the decisions in this room,” she continues in a hushed voice.  
  
“Ma’am, people will get the idea he’s... he’s...”  
  
“...gay? Of course he is!” Linda replies in an approving tone of her son’s sexuality. “They’re a couple. And if you have a problem with it, I’ll be happy to ask for a new nurse for my son.”  
  
The nurse’s face blushes quickly, and she presses her lips together firmly, forming a tight line. Without another word, she gets the vitals she needs and hurries out of the room.  
  
“Thanks, mom,” Frank whispers. Linda just smiles at Frank and steps back out of the room.


	39. We'll Fly Home

The following day, Frank is released from the hospital. Gee carefully helps Frank into his car as if Frank would break if handled too harshly. He climbs into the driver’s seat, shuts the door, and turns the key in the ignition.  
  
As he pulls out into the street, Gee feels comfortable in the silence. He feels comfortable in this relationship. He feels comfortable with Frank. Frank can sense Gee’s commitment, as if it were a tangible object between them.  
  
The drive to the house Mikey and Frank shares is too short for Gee. He wants to just keep driving enjoying this... whatever it is between them. He wants to take Frank to his own house, keeping Frank close to him and safe forever.  
  
“Come live with me... in my house,” Gee hears his voice say hurriedly, unaware the words had formed on his lips from out of his subconscious. He shifts his gaze quickly to Frank. He’s not sure how Frank will react to his sudden bold request. Frank is looking at him directly. Gee is unable to decipher the emotions on Frank’s soft features. He turns back to face the road.  
  
“Really? Live with you?” Gee knows the shock in Frank’s voice is only playful banter questioning the speed of the statement. Frank continues, “Only a week ago you needed space from me.” Frank’s gaze catches Gee’s. Gee can see a hint of pain and truthfulness in Frank’s eyes, but it quickly disappears as a smile grows on Frank’s lips. Gee takes Frank’s hand in his.  
  
“Yes, Frankie, live with me. I’ve had enough _space_. Now I want _you_ ,” Gee replies slower and with more confidence than before. Frank sits quiet for a moment. He wants to know Gee is sure about this. Gee has always made rash decisions on short lived emotions, but somehow this didn’t feel the same. “You gonna to make me beg?” Gee cuts in to his thought.  
  
“We can try it. But I still have to get some stuff from my room first,” Frank agrees. A relaxed smile spreads across Gee’s expression as he lets out a soft sigh.  
  
The same comfortable silence fills the car as Gee drives the last short distance to Frank’s now old house. He is still tightly clutching Frank’s hand. The sight of the house causes Frank to squeeze it hard as harsh memories come back to both of them. Once again, Gee confronts the raw truth of how close he came to losing Frank.  
  
Gee helps Frank out of the car. Frank’s strength has recovered quickly, but Gee takes no chances. He keeps his hand gently on the inside of Frank’s elbow, poised to catch him if needed. Mikey opens the door before they reach it.  
  
“Welcome home,” Mikey warmly greets.  
  
“Not for long,” Gee taunts. “I’m officially stealing him from you.” He smirks smugly at Frank. But Frank is far away from the conversation.  
  
As he steps into the house, his face drains of all color as if the blood had once again left his body through his wrist. Gee watches, his countenance shifting to match Frank’s. He helps Frank over to the sofa. Frank’s body is weak, except this time from a flood emotion.  
  
“Tell me what you need from your room, Sugar. I’ll get it for you,” Gee offers. He wants to get Frank out of here as quickly as possible.  
  
“My guitar... and some clothes... for now I guess,” Frank breathes out.  
  
Gee quickly dashes for Frank’s room. He hesitates at the door wondering if it had been cleaned up yet. Knowing Mikey, though, he wouldn’t leave it in a mess for Frank to come home to, so Gee pushes away his fear and pushes the door open. Aside from the bed being naked of sheets, Frank’s room looks the same as it always does. Gee rifles through the drawers of Frank’s chest of drawers, grabbing the clothes he knows Frank likes to wear and his favorite studded belt. He stacks them on the bed and walks over to the closet. In the closet, he finds a duffle bag in the bottom on the floor. Back at the bed, he puts the clothes in the bag. He heads back over to the closet to see if he needs any of the clothes hanging in there.  
  
The only thing of importance is Frank’s stage clothes, but Gee doesn’t grab them. The tour has been temporarily cancelled due to the recent events. Gee runs his hand down Frank’s red tie. A pang of fear grips him. _What if we never start the tour back up? What if it’s all over?_ Gee tries to rationalize this fear away. He knows it is all just temporary. There is no reason they couldn’t start the tour again in a few weeks after Frank has recovered fully.  
  
He zips the duffle bag and grabs the guitar case for Frank’s beloved guitar, Pansy. Outside of Gee, it is Frank’s most prized possession. Gee carefully lifts the cherished item from its resting place in its stand. He starts to place it in the case when something catches his attention. Small flecks of brown dot the bottom of the white guitar. Gee knows the instant he sees them what they are: small, dried drops of Frank’s liquid love. He licks his thumb and tries to wipe them away. With a little effort, he manages to wipe them all away. Gee takes a soft felt cloth from the guitar’s case and wipes over the guitar’s body once more. The sounds of the small vibrations from the cloth wiping the strings fill Gee’s senses, perking his ears.  
  
He is suddenly aware of Mikey and Frank talking. He puts the cloth back and places the guitar in the case, shutting it. He gathers it and the duffle bag. Standing at the door, he stands and strains to hear what they are talking about in such a hushed manner.  
  
“I told you things would work out, though,” Mikey says reassuringly. “He just needs some time and space occasionally. He’s always been that way.”  
  
“I know. I’ve been around him a while, too,” Frank gently retorts.  
  
“Still,” Mikey continues, “if you need to talk or if he does something you don’t understand, call me. Between the two of us, we oughta be able to figure out his quirks.”  
  
“You mean, his brilliant madness,” Frank quips.  
  
Mikey laughs quietly, then offers one last bit of advice. “But talk to him, too. Sometimes, whether he admits it or not, he needs somebody, too. Sometimes he needs you to show him what _you_ see.”  
  
Gee grins to himself about his brother’s and lover’s conversation about him. He draws in a deep breath, readjusts the duffle bag over his shoulder, and walks back into the living room.  
  
“”Bout ready to go?” Gee says as he raises an eyebrow.


	40. I'll Take You home With Me

The ride to Gee’s house is just as comfortable as before. The silence is occasionally filled with stifled giggles from Frank. Every time Frank would giggle, Gee couldn’t stop from giggling back.  
  
Gee’s mind keeps wondering back to the conversation Mikey and Frank was having about him. He loves that Frank and Mikey are trying to create a safety net for them. He loves that Mikey is trying to impart his brotherly wisdom to offer Frank support. He loves that Frank is trying to learn everything possible about him. Gee recognizes the conversation as yet another sign of the love surrounding him.  
  
“Um, Baby, where are we going?” Frank half giggles to Gee. Gee quickly snaps back to reality.  
  
“Wh-what?” Frank grins, knowing Gee had been lost in thought.  
  
“You just past the house... which is fine! I just didn’t know where you were plannin’ on goin’,” Frank jokes. Gee blushes slightly.  
  
“Sorry.” He turns the car around and drives the car back the few hundred feet back to his house. Gee sits still after pulling the key from the ignition. His eyes trace the lines of the house while Frank’s trace the lines of Gee’s face. Frank understands this is more than just coming home for Gee; this is almost the start of a new life, something that has come as struggle for Gee, and this needs to be respected.  
  
Gee feels his brow furrow as he continues to study the side of his house. This is a big deal for him, inviting Frank to live with him. This is more than just the casual relationship they had shared before. Even more than their one date at the park. Gee starts to wonder if this is the right thing to do. He turns to look at Frank. Frank is just looking back at him; his expression is soft and understanding instead of impatient or concerned. Gee knows Frank is aware of what he is thinking, even if he hasn’t said a single word aloud. He allows his face to unfurrow and a smile spread across his lips.  
  
“Ready to go home?” he asks Frank as a renewed commitment to them as a couple.  
  
“Yeah. Let’s go... home.” Frank stresses the last word to let Gee know he gets it. Gee’s smile widens, and he opens his car door. He steps around to Frank’s side and pulls Frank’s door open further than Frank has already cracked it. Once Frank is out of the car, Gee reaches in the back and grabs Frank’s bag and Pansy. They cross the yard to the door. Gee slides his key in the lock and stops momentarily.  
  
“I suppose you need a key, don’t you?”  
  
“Eventually,” Frank replies with an undertone of seduction, “I don’t plan on going anywhere for a while though.” Gee’s eyes glint knowing exactly what Frank is implying. He pushes the door open and allows Frank to enter, following right behind. Gee hasn’t been home since he was reading Frank’s note and Mikey had called him. He half expects it to hold the same cold feeling it did the last time he was here. To his surprise, it doesn’t. The whole place seems alive and warm. The only difference is Frank’s presence. The thought makes Gee smirk. _Even my house knows he should be here._  
  
“Make yourself at home...” Gee chuckles. “Well, you are home, you know what I meant. You’ve been here plenty. I’ll go make you some space.”  
  
“A’right,” Frank replies, plopping down on the same old, navy blue sofa. Gee starts to walk off then stops midstep.  
  
“Uh, Frank? My room? Or do you want the spare one?” Frank smiles at Gee’s flash of modesty.  
  
“Your’s is fine, if you don’t mind sharing.”  
  
Gee makes his way to his room with Frank’s bags. He leaves Pansy for Frank to handle. Frank can be particular about his favorite guitar. He cleans out a drawer and starts to unpack Frank’s clothes, stopping occasionally to take a lungful of Frank’s scent in. His mind drifts off to the events of the last week.  
  
He wonders how he can be so accepting with this when a week or so ago he wasn’t. Not that it is a bad thing, he just wonders what happened. A picture suddenly crosses his memory. It is the night at the park; Frank was so happy. The way they were running around and just being free to love each other, with no one or nothing in their way. _Come to think of it, I was happy, too. Really honestly happy._ Gee places more of Frank’s clothes in the drawer and turns to get more.  
  
As he reaches for another handful, Frank’s belt catches Gee’s attention. Frank had been wearing it that night, the one Gee had screwed up so badly. Images of the looks on Frank’s face tell Gee they should have said it all to him. But in his drunken state, they didn’t. He shouldn’t even have been drunk. Frank had suffered right along with him to help him stop the awful addiction. At least he hasn’t had a drink since then. Frank had been shattered that Gee was drunk, almost as much he was by the presence of _her_. His words may have been filled with venom, but only because he had nothing left to protect himself with by then. But Frank’s eyes, no his eyes were not filled with that venom. His eyes were filled with heartbreak and hopelessness. His eyes had been filled with sheer pain.  
  
Gee remembers Frank words from just the day before. _I was hurting, physically, like you had ripped my heart right out of my chest._ Gee's breath suddenly catches in his throat. He should have seen it all along. He should have been there to stop Frank from slitting his wrist. But could he have been? No, he couldn’t have been the cause and the solution. And what about now? Is Gee here in this situation out of guilt? But guilt was a good thing, right? Guilt means Gee does care deep down. If he didn’t care about Frank, he wouldn’t be so pained by what Frank had done to himself.  
  
He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of these awful thoughts. _This is why things went bad_. _I just need to let go and be free._ He lets out a heavy sigh.  
  
“You okay?” Frank scares him. Gee jerks around to look at him. From the look of his body placement against the door frame, Frank has been standing there a while. The sudden jolt from Gee causes Frank to shift uncomfortably. “You sure this is okay? Me livin’ here?”  
  
Gee walks over to Frank, wrapping his one hand around the small of Frank’s back and the other around the back of his head and into his hair. For a moment he lets himself be lost in Frank’s eyes then presses his lips to Frank’s.  
  
“Yeah. I’m sure,” Gee simply replies in an almost whisper.


	41. Hallelujah

Gee presses his lips into Frank’s again. He runs his tongue lightly over Frank’s lower lip, stopping to gently play with Frank’s lip ring. Frank sighs softly into Gee’s mouth, trying to form words.  
  
“...bed...” is all he is able to force out. Gee takes the hint. He releases Frank’s lips and pulls Frank over to the bed with his hand. Before climbing onto it, Gee undresses Frank slowly. He sees all the dark marks on Frank’s body from the trauma he had been through in the last few days, but stops himself from allow those thoughts and memories to overtake his mind. Right now it’s all about Frank. Gee unbuttons Frank’s small jeans and pulls them off. He starts to push Frank down onto the bed.  
  
“Uh-uh,” Frank mutters. Frank presses his body close to Gee for another kiss. His fingers search for the hem of Gee’s t-shirt, and once found, he breaks the kiss and pulls it over Gee’s head. His tongue traces down Gee’s chest, pausing briefly at Gee’s nipple. Frank begins to undo Gee’s pants and seats himself on the edge of the bed as he pulls them to the floor. He allows his tongue to keep teasing Gee’s flesh around his hips and down to the lower creases of his legs. As he gently sucks one of Gee’s balls into his mouth, Gee sharply inhales and digs his fingertips into Frank’s shoulders. Frank traces the line on the underside of Gee’s stiffness but never takes him into his mouth.  
  
Gee’s knees nearly give way as Frank’s tongue continues teasing him. Frank giggles softly as he takes the hint from Gee’s body. He grabs Gee’s wrists and pulls him down on the bed. Gee falls rather hard onto the bed, pulling Frank up on top of him. Gee pulls Frank’s head down to his and kisses his lips again, sliding his tongue into Frank’s mouth. Frank kisses back hard.  
  
“...lube?” Frank manages to ask between pants and kisses.  
  
“...drawer,” Gee answers in the same fashion, motioning with his hand towards his nightstand. Frank slides over and pulls it out. His eyes meet Gee’s for only a second. Gee nods. Frank opens the bottle and pours some of the lube on his fingers. He repositions so he is up next to Gee’s hip with access to prepare Gee’s hole and still growing member. He slides in a finger as he finally takes the head of Gee’s phallus in his mouth. Gee’s body stiffens at the sensations. Frank bobs his head up and down a few times before sliding in another finger. Again Gee’s body stiffens, but this time, he relaxes much more quickly. Frank continues to bob his head up and down, occasionally licking on the tip of Gee or his ball sack, as he moves in and out and spreads his fingers inside of Gee. He can feel Gee’s muscles begin to relax around him, so he slides in a third finger. Gee whimpers just slightly. Frank sucks hard on Gee’s length to redirect Gee’s attention to a better sensation.  
  
Within minutes, Gee is ready to take in Frank’s own throbbing member. Frank pulls his fingers out, offering the tip of Gee’s member a quick kiss. He runs his clean palm up Gee’s chest as he pulls himself into position for penetration. Once there, he pours a little more lube on his fingers and smears it on himself then Gee’s opening. Gee moans a little, and Frank grins at Gee adjusting to bottoming so quickly. He guides the tip of his cock to Gee’s awaiting entrance and pushes in just slightly. He moves his hand away and slowly slides himself into Gee further. Offering Gee’s body a small chance to adjust, Frank wipes his fingers on the sheets over the side of the bed and leans in so his lips can find Gee’s. Gee’s lips are slightly trembling, but he presses back into Frank, his hips bucking a little.  
  
Frank begins moving his hips, drawing himself out and pushing back in, slowly at first. Gee’s body tenses and his legs wrap tightly around Frank’s thighs. Frank thrusts faster. A moan escapes Gee’s throat, and he tilts his hips forward causing Frank to enter him deeper and his stiffness to rub against Frank’s silky stomach. This new friction draws Frank out of his sex daze. He slides his hand under his stomach and wraps it around Gee’s member. Gee arches his back, clenching his sphincter muscles.  
  
“Oh... fuck... Baby...” Frank pants. He can feel the familiar pressure of his coming climax building. By the unintelligible muttering of Gee, Frank knows he’s close, too. Frank tries to control his and pumps Gee faster. Gee’s body tenses again. Frank watches his face tighten and express his near painful ecstasy. His body suddenly goes almost limp, only moving to match Frank’s rhythmic thrusting. Frank only has to thrust once more, then he makes the same face as he fills Gee to the hilt and releases his own orgasm he has been holding back.  
  


\---------------------------------------------------------

 

Frank blinks his eyes. He must have dozed off snuggled close to Gee. Frank rolls over to wrap his arm around him, but he only finds an empty spot on the bed. He props up on his elbows and tries to bring his senses to focus. He can hear the bass of a cello and the soprano of a woman’s voice. Frank stands from the bed and wraps the sheet around him. He has no need for clothes right now. Following the sound of the music, Frank finds his way into the hall, stopping for a second to listen for the direction of the sounds. He walks towards the living room but realizes the music is coming from the spare room at the end of the hall, a room Gee rarely uses.  
  
The door isn’t pushed all the way to, so Frank slowly and silently pushes the door open enough to see in and props against the door frame. Gee is sitting in the middle of the floor in only his boxers, his back to the door, listening to the woman on the CD, which he has on repeat and is now starting over, sing the Angelical Salutation. He looks meditative and peaceful, occasionally singing a lyric or two.  
  
“Ave Maria...” Gee’s tenor voice sings out quietly. “...gratia plena...”  
  
Gee knows that this complete peace is short lived. Eventually he and Frank will have to share their relationship publically. That scares him terribly, but for now, he is no longer fighting it. Frank is his. Frank lives here now. And Frank is alive and safe.  
  
“...et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus...”  
  
He wants this to be. He wants Frank and everything about him. Somehow, he feels like part of him, part of his subconscious, has known this all along. Maybe that’s why he had kissed Frank during that fateful show; his internal self was showing him what his conscious mind refused to see or believe.  
  
“...Nobis pecatoribus...” Gee continues as if he is actually praying the song aloud. A single tear slides down his cheek. Frank can hardly see it, but he knows this tear is not in sadness. Something about Gee’s presence tells him that. “...nunc et in hora, in hora mortis nostrae...”  
  
Once the last vibrato from the cello ceases, Gee’s hand slides forward, his eyes still closed, looking for the stereo. Once he has found it, he skillfully finds the right button to stop the song from playing again. Gee sits motionless, except for the subtle movements of his breathing. Frank can tell this is not the first time Gee has sat here so thoughtful, but he has never witnessed such a private moment of Gee’s before. He doesn’t want to disturb this one, so he turns to leave Gee to his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven't been leaving A/N's on this site, something I have loved doing on other sites, but I really need to say something here.
> 
> First of all, I appreciate all the people that have been reading my fic on this site. This story was never meant to be posted publically, as it is my own fantasy of what I wish happened between RL!Frankie and RL!Gee. I seriously only wrote this fic for myself.
> 
> Secondly, I know the second part of this chapter may seem a little out of place and random. Quite frankly, I got the idea from my own life. One of the VERY FEW songs I listen to outside of My Chem music is Josh Groban's version of "Ave Maria." It is my "thinking" song; whenever I am really stressed or trying to make a large life decision, I blast it on repeat and sing my heart out, as I know the latin by heart. 
> 
> So, I said all that to say this. Just in case you didn't get it, there is a lot more to Gerard sitting in the middle of the floor listening to a religious CD than is shown here. But you'll have to wait a few more chapters to learn its significance. All I'm willing to give away I've said...
> 
> (Hehe, hot mansex and religion in one chapter... I'm so bad!)


	42. Trust Me

Gee can hear Frank quietly shuffling around their bedroom. “Frank?” he quietly calls. Frank is just plopping down on the bed after picking a comic book. He wasn't sure how long Gee would be lost in his thoughts, so he had figured a comic was a good way to waste some time; Gee has finished thinking sooner than he expected. Frank looks up and his eyes meet Gee’s. A small smile curls Gee's lips up. “Your mom brought us some dinner. I waited for you to eat. I think she said it was veggie lasagna. You hungry?”  
  
“Starvin’!” Frank exclaims. “Did she bring any garlic breadsticks? She always made those with it when I was a kid.” Frank puts the comic down and starts to get up from the bed.  
  
“That must be what’s wrapped up in aluminum foil. C’mon. I’ll go warm it up for us.”  
  
Frank follows Gee into the kitchen and sits down at the table. Gee turns the oven on and heads for the fridge. He takes a pan out of it, removes the foil from the top of it, and puts it in the oven. Without asking, he grabs two glasses and goes back to the fridge, pouring soda in both glasses. He walks over towards Frank and hands him a glass.  
  
Frank just watches Gee move around the kitchen. Everything seems so... so normal now that this is his home. He feels like he has lived here forever. _Maybe it’s because I’ve been here a million times_ , he thinks to himself. Instead of sitting down with Frank, Gee walks over to the kitchen window and peers out into the dark backyard. Frank hasn’t noticed until now the sun had set already. Gee stretches up on his toes, craning his neck towards the neighbor’s yard.  
  
“What are you lookin’ at so hard?” Frank asks through a giggle.  
  
Gee turns around quickly, smirking wildly. “You’ll see. You need some more soda?”  
  
“Nah, I’m good.” Gee checks on the pan of lasagna, then closes the oven again. He strolls over to Frank and places an innocent kiss on his lips and takes a seat beside him.  
  
“You feelin’ okay?”  
  
“”Yeah,” Frank responds suspiciously. “Why?” A devious grin flashes across Gee’s lips and quickly disappears.  
  
“Just making sure.” He kisses Frank once more, then checks on the food again. It is starting to get warm, so he tosses the breadsticks into the oven as they are. “Almost ready,” he says, nearly to himself. He gets a couple of plates out of a cabinet and then some silverware out of a drawer.  
  
Again, Gee walks over to the window, peering at the neighbor’s yard. Frank can’t figure out what he’s looking at so hard, but he knows Gee has some mischievous plan swirling around in his crazy thoughts. Gee lingers at the window for a couple of minutes. Frank just watches Gee's childish enthusiasm growing. Gee starts bouncing on the balls of his feet and suddenly giggles to himself.  
  
Gee bounces off towards the stove, grabbing some oven gloves out of a drawer on the way. He pulls the pan and the breadstick out of the oven. He makes a couple of plates and brings them over to the table. Frank just watches, his eyes wide and mouth open.  
  
“What are you up to?” he finally brings himself to ask as Gee opens the fridge door. He turns around to face Frank for a second, still smiling like an imp.  
  
“Getting us more soda before we start eating,” Gee states matter-of-factly, obviously avoiding what Frank is referring to.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Really.” Frank decides to let Gee have his little surprise.  
  
They eat quickly, even though Frank’s not sure why he’s eating so fast. Perhaps he is just really hungry. He hasn’t eaten anything hardly all day. Not to mention, the hospital’s vegetarian meals weren’t all that great. Frank is enjoying this homemade meal. He lets his mind wonder into the backyard, trying figure out what Gee could be planning.  
  
“You want some more?” Gee cuts into Frank’s thoughts. Frank brings his thoughts back to table. He realizes he finished eating before Gee. He shakes his head and stands up to clear his spot at the table. “I’ll do that later.” Gee puts the last bite of food in his mouth. “Remind me to tell your mom what a good cook she is.” He grabs a few of dishes off the table and tosses them into the sink, not bothering to grab them all or cover the pan of food back up. “You ready to go?”  
  
Frank just looks at him for a moment. A smirk starts to grow on his face. “Where are we going?”  
  
“You’ll see,” Gee replies coyly.


	43. Wild Eyed Jokers

Frank follows Gee’s lead. Gee is acting sneaking, holding Frank’s hand tightly and tiptoeing across the backyard towards the neighbor’s fence. The lack of moonlight makes the dark seem even darker.  
  
“Gee?” Frank whispers. “Where are we goin’?” Gee just stifles a giggle, his torso shaking a little, and holds up a small key. Frank gives him a puzzled look but keeps on following. Gee stops at the edge of the yard, giving the neighbor’s house a good once over, then steps over to the gate in the fence. Carefully he puts the key in the lock and turns it. To Frank’s surprise, the lock pops open.  
  
“Gee?” Frank whispers again. “What--” Gee cuts him off by opening the gate and motioning into the neighbor yard, grinning at Frank like a mad man. _Perhaps he IS a mad man right now_ , Frank thinks with a little chuckle. In front of him in the neighbor’s yard is an in-ground pool. The yard is dark, and the pool water is even darker. “Gee, um... we can’t just... just break into someone’s yard...”  
  
“I didn’t break in. He gave me a key,” Gee says quietly as he held up the small gold key again. “He told me I was welcome to use the pool anytime I wanted.” Gee smiles at Frank impishly.  
  
“I don’t think that meant in the middle of the night though.” Frank tries to scream while still whispering.  
  
“... _anytime_...” Gee repeats.  
  
“We aren’t wearing any swimming trunks either,” Frank continues his little argument. Gee just flashes Frank a mischievous look and a seductive grin.  
  
“Who said we needed any?” He grabs Frank’s hand and pulls him into the yard towards the pool, carefully shutting the gate silently. Gee begins stripping his clothes away. Frank watches for a moment. _Why not_ , he thinks to himself and begins removing his clothes too. Before Frank can get fully undressed, Gee is already stepping down the steps into the cool, dark water. Frank’s breath catches as he watches Gee sink under the water and then reemerge face first. Gee runs his hands over his face pushing a few loose strands of hair back over his head.  
  
“Are you comin’ in or what?” Gee questions from the pool. Frank smirks and steps towards the ladder. His heart is racing. He’s not sure if it’s the danger of getting caught, the thrill of night-time skinny dipping, or just pure love and raw desire for Gee. Or maybe a combination of all of it. He puts a foot into the water. The coolness causes a shiver to run up his spine.  
  
As he reaches the last step, Gee slides his arms around Frank’s waist and pulls him close. Frank is grateful for the warmth of Gee’s body pressed close to his. Gee softly places his warm, silky lips to the back of Frank’s neck, kissing around the base of it as far he could reach towards Frank’s collarbone. He hears Frank’s breath catch, and Frank’s head falls away, allowing Gee more access. Gee plants a few more kisses then swims around to face Frank. He pulls Frank close again.  
  
Frank can feel their members rub together as Gee pulls their bodies closer together. Gee presses their lips together once again, pushing Frank against the wall of the pool. As he breaks the kiss, Gee draws in a deep breath and disappears into the water. Frank tries to watch Gee’s silhouette. He doesn’t have to watch long. He feels Gee’s soft fingers trail around his hips then a warm sensation envelopes his now growing member. He draws in a sharp breath as his eyes close slightly and roll into the back of his head. Suddenly he is overcome with a sharp cold from the abrupt void of Gee’s mouth. Frank tries to pry his eyes open and look for Gee’s shadow, but he can’t find it. He swims towards the middle of the pool. He still doesn’t see Gee anywhere. Frank feels the water move around his feet and then a hand slides up his leg and over his ass. Slowly Gee surfaces right beside Frank.  
  
“You’re awful _happy_ tonight,” Frank mutters trying to hide a smirk.  
  
“Why shouldn’t I be? I have the most amazing lover right here...” Gee mumbles into Frank’s neck as he begins gently nipping on his ear. “...and now he lives with me too.”  
  
A light turns on in an upstairs window. Instantly both guys head snap towards the light and freeze. They hear a little movement in the house. A few seconds later, a dim light in the lower floor turns on. Both guys scramble out of the pool. They grab their clothes and shoes then run towards the gate. Gee shuts the gate not so silently this time and snaps the lock shut.  
  
Just as they run completely naked back around their own house, they hear the backdoor of the neighbor’s house open. The guys dash into the backdoor and close it as quietly as they possible can at the moment.  
  
Dripping wet and shivering from the sudden cold, both begin laughing hysterically.


	44. We Could Loose Ourselves

Both laugh until their sides hurt. Slowly they make eye contact. Still shivering, Frank drops his clothes he’s still grasping and reaches his arm around Gee’s midsection. Gee follows suit.  
  
“You gonna drag me out swimmin’ and then have me standin’ here freezin’ my nuts off, then you can at least offer me some warmth,” Frank half jokes through badly shivering lips.  
  
“You know, if you were a little bigger, _either_ direction, you might not be so cold, Sugar.” Gee tries to stifle a giggle. Frank cuts his gaze up to meet Gee’s. Gee’s gaze only lingers for a moment, then his lips quickly meet Frank’s in a hard kiss. Without hesitation, Frank opens his mouth and pushes his tongue past Gee’s lips. In return Gee presses his hips into Frank’s. He can feel the heat of Frank’s already hardening dick.  
  
Without warning, Gee pulls Frank over to the table. A few dishes from dinner are still laying on it. In one swift motion of his arm, Gee sweeps them into the floor. Their eyes meet again. Frank can see the burning desire in Gee’s look. Gee’s breathing is already growing rapid. He gently lifts Frank and sets him down on the table, pushing Frank’s back down onto the table top. Frank shifts for a second, reaching behind his back. His hand reappears holding a fork.  
  
“That would’a hurt...” Frank dangles his hand over the edge of the table and just drops the fork on the floor with the rest of the kitchenware littering the floor. “Speakin’ ‘a hurt,” Frank breaths out, “lube?” Gee rolls his eyes with a ‘duh’ look on his face. He dashes for the bedroom, leaving Frank lying and exposed on the table.  
  
Frank can’t help but grin to himself. Everything is perfect right now. He’s here. Gee’s here. Gee has even become the aggressor tonight. Frank feels content to know that Gee is more than okay with all of this, with this relationship, with having fun and being together, with Frank loving him and loving Frank back. A small pang of fear grips Frank’s stomach when he thinks about them having to share their relationship publically. Not because he’s doesn’t want to, but because he knows this scares the living hell out of Gee. He mind begins to wonder how their fans will react, but his train of thought is interrupted by Gee returning from the bedroom, tube of lube in hand.  
  
Before Gee can cross the floor to reach Frank, he is flipping the tube open and pouring a little in his hand. He tosses the tube down on the table next to Frank and massages what’s on his hand onto his now throbbing self. Frank reaches for the tube. Gee gives him a questioning look.  
  
“I can’t exactly jack off with water logged hands, now can I?” Frank asks, somewhat sarcastic.  
  
“I’d be happy to it _for you_ ,” Gee answers, still looking confused.  
  
“So you can hold my legs up _and_ jack me off? I didn’t realize you were Superman...” sarcasm dripping off of Frank’s words. Enlightenment suddenly strikes Gee’s expression. “Yeah,” Frank chuckles, flipping open the lube and pour a little into his hand.  
  
Gee can no longer stand still. He feels like his abdomen is about to explode. He quickly grabs Frank’s legs, laying them up his chest, Frank’s feet dangling on either side of Gee’s face. Gee keeps his arms firmly wrapped around Frank’s knees.  
  
“Ready?” Gee pants. Frank just nods. Not giving Frank time to change his mind, Gee plunges himself deep into Frank. Frank lets out a faint whine accompanied by a small wince. Gee rubs his hands up and down Frank’s legs, waiting for Frank to relax. Finally Frank relaxes, and his hand reaches up and wraps around his own member. This is all the signal Gee needs. He begins thrusting in and out of Frank’s warmth. Frank just enjoys the sensation of Gee filling him for a short while.  
  
Gee picks up the pace of his motions. A small moan escapes Frank’s throat, and he begins stroking his own dick. At first Gee doesn’t notice. Once he sees the movements of Frank’s hand, it spurs him on more. He can’t stop a moan of his own from crossing his lips. For a brief second, their gazes meet from under half closed eyelids. Frank’s half open mouth curls into a blissful smile. His head quickly falls back onto the table with a thump as his back arches violently. His hand begins moving in a fast and uncoordinated fashion. Gee knows this means Frank is close. For the first time since running into the house, he has a single clear thought, _I love him! This is amazing!_  
  
Gee begins pumping in and out harder and faster. His lips long to touch Frank’s. All he can do is place small kisses on the side of Frank’s shins. Suddenly, Frank stops stroking his own self, lifting his head to watch Gee’s orgasm. As if on cue, Gee thrusts forward hard, causing his back to curve sharply, and fills Frank full of his own fluids. Frank watches Gee’s face go through the stages of what looks like pain then pleasure. Gee braces his trembling body with Frank’s legs and finally opens his eyes, looking directly at Frank. Frank slightly smirks and starts stroking his length once more. His body has begun trembling as well. Trying to maintain eye contact, Frank strokes hard and faster. As his own member starts to erupt in ecstasy, he can’t hold the gaze any longer. His eyes roll up in his head, his eye lids trying to close around them.  
  
Gee can’t stop himself from climbing on top the table over of Frank. Bracing on his hands and arms as to not crush Frank, he gets the kiss his lips have been longing for.


	45. And I Remember Now

They are sitting on the sofa, snuggling close together under a winter comforter Gee had pulled out of the spare room. Both are still naked. They prefer the skin to skin contact. They have flipped the TV on, but neither of them is really watching it. Some late night comedy flickers on the screen. Frank’s eyes are looking at the screen, but he isn’t watching it. He is dreaming of the future, _his_ future with Gee. He is dreaming of being able to cuddle like this with Gee for the rest of his life. He knows he is getting ahead of himself, but this is what he has wanted for some time.  
  
Gee is also thinking. He is thinking he wants to make this all official, no matter how that scares him. He shifts so he can wrap his left arm around Frank’s shoulders. His right hand reaches out and takes Frank’s left one, lacing their fingers together. For a moment, he pauses and looks at the slightly raised, pink line on Frank’s wrist. The visible proof of Frank’s love. He gently strokes his thumb over it.  
  
Frank watches Gee face change, wondering what’s going through Gee’s mind. As Gee runs his thumb across this line on his wrist, Frank wants to shrink away from the shame. How could he have been so stupid, slitting his own wrist like that? Then just standing there watching it pour out his blood onto the floor?  
  
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he whispers, not really to Gee or himself. Gee turns to look at Frank. Frank can feel his gaze and turns to meet it.  
  
“I’m glad you did,” he quietly replies. Frank looks at him puzzled.  
  
“I actually could’ve died. I _did_ die! I was just lucky enough for them to be able to bring me back.”  
  
“I wasn’t glad at the time,” Gee adds. “I wasn’t glad when you were still in the hospital. But I’m glad now.” He smiles softly at Frank. Frank’s eyes seem to still be questioning him, so he continues. “I’m not sure I’d ever have come back if you wouldn’t have. I was so focused on how this wouldn’t work to see how much I love you.” Gee places a tender kiss on Frank’s soft lips, lingering for only a moment. “That first night, when everything was so... when there was still a chance you wouldn’t make it...” He sighs softly, trying to find the right words, “I was too overwhelmed to think about anything else. You were all I cared about, all I could think about. Not the band, not what our families would think, not even what the fans or the rest of the world would think.”  
  
Gee’s eyes flick down to that little line on Frank’s wrist as his thumb again traces over it slowly. “For me,” he starts again, “this is a permanent reminder of that realization. Whenever I start to let things get to me, I know I can look at it and remember this feeling I have right now.” He brings his eyes back to Frank’s. Frank can see the tears brimming in Gee’s eyes. "I know I can always look at that and remember just how scared I was of loosing you."  
  
“Gee, I never meant to hurt you. It was never my intent.”  
  
“I know, Sugar.” Gee places another soft kiss on Frank’s lips. “My brother always says, though ‘you can’t _not_ hurt somebody,’” Gee mimics his Mikey’s voice, “'you can only leave ‘em better than you found ‘em.’” Frank starts to giggle. Gee looks at him like he’s lost it officially. “I swear, he says that!” Frank only laughs harder.  
  
“I know he does,” Frank struggles to say through his laughing.  
  
“You’ve heard him say it?”  
  
Frank nods his head, trying to steady his laughter and breathing. Taking a final calming breath, he says, “That night in the bus, after you passed out in the shower, you ‘member that?”  
  
“Some of it...” he answers, somewhat nodding his head.  
  
“Mikey was giving me hell over fuckin’ you and getting all this started. I promised him I wasn’t gonna hurt you.” Frank smirks at Gee. “That’s when he said that to me. About you. He made me promise.”  
  
“And you have, Frankie. You have made me better, in so many ways.” He looks deep into Frank’s giggling eyes, a smile curving his lips up. He can see everything he has ever wanted in those two green eyes. “I want to tell the world about us, Frank,” Gee states abruptly.  
  
“Well, the tour is about to start back up. I’m pretty much back to normal. You can shout it to the rafters at every show, Baby.”  
  
“No, Frankie. You don’t understand. I want to marry you.” He takes his free hand and places it on Frank’s cheek. “Will you marry me, Frankie?”


	46. I'm Trying to Let You Know

Frank knows what he wants his answer to be. Yes. _Yes._ A million fucking times YES! But his mouth won’t form the one simple word. Thoughts similar to earlier today, earlier when Gee asked him to move in with him, echo in his mind. Why now? Why all of a sudden? Does he mean it? Is he just acting on impulse? If I say yes and it’s just an impulse, can I handle that rejection again?  
  
“Frank?” Gee voice cuts into his thoughts. He blinks out of his stare and focuses his eyes once again on Gee. “Frank, will you answer me? Please?”  
  
“Ah... I... um...” What should he say? He takes in a deep breath and tries to continue. “Gee, I don’t know what to say.”  
  
“Why not ‘yes’?” Frank can see a hint of hurt starting to show in Gee’s face.  
  
“A-are you sure? I mean... Gee, it’s been a long day... for both of us. I just got out the hospital this morning. Plus, we went, you know, _swimming_. And we’ve had sex. Twice!” Frank runs his hand over Gee’s cheek and around to the back of Gee’s neck. “Baby, I have wanted you to ask me that, well, for a _long_ time.” He pauses, afraid to say anymore. He’s afraid Gee will take his question back. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid you’ll live to regret it someday.”  
  
This time Gee takes the deep breath. Frank watches carefully as Gee processes what Frank has just said. Gee knows Frank is right. It has been a very long day. But he knows what he is asking. He has thought it through. Repeated. Sitting in that hospital room watching Frank sleep, he thought about it more than once. Even today when Frank was napping, he gave it more thought. And he knows it’s what he wants. More than that, he knows it’s right.  
  
“Frankie, Sugar, I love you. I want this so badly. As things stand right now, I could never regret marrying you.” Gee sees a small change in Frank’s demeanor. He doesn’t want to push Frank away any further, but he knows he has to convince Frank. “I have given this a lot of thought. I know I normally don’t think about this stuff, I just do things.”  
  
“And this?” Frank questions Gee’s words.  
  
“When the tour starts back up, we have a show in Massachusetts and another in Connecticut. We can get married in either of those states. Legally. And both shows have a day off before and after them. And here at home, New Jersey law will recognize our marriage.” Gee’s voice has taken on a pathetic pleading tone. Frank sighs softly. His gaze shifts to the floor for a moment. Gee lets him look away and try to think about all of this.  
  
“It’s just... just so sudden, Gerard,” Frank states as he brings his eyes back to Gee’s. “And those shows... they’re not even two weeks away. How can we get everything planned out in time? Where would we even get married?”  
  
“Do you really need a big ceremony?” Gee giggles to break the tension. “I didn’t realize I was asking a girl to marry me...” Frank smirks back at Gee’s humor.  
  
Frank sits just thinking about it. If Gee has this much already planned out, this is definitely not one of his impulsive actions. Frank wants to say yes, even more than before. He steals a sideways glance at Gee. Gee has settled back into the sofa and is watching the flickering of the TV once again. He knows this, too, is a sign that Gee truly means what he is asking of Frank. Gee is only patient for things he is willing to wait for, things of importance to him. He is not normally patient with his usual rash decisions.  
  
Frank snuggles into Gee’s side a little closer. Gee puts his arm back around Frank’s small shoulders, still not rushing Frank into a decision. He doesn’t want Frank to regret this either. Gee understands where Frank is coming from. Just a week and a half ago, he was desperate to rid his mind of thoughts of Frank. He was focusing on how this wouldn’t work. Only one thing has changed since then, but this one thing makes all the difference—his point of view. If only he could explain that to Frank.  
  
Frank is still lost in his thought when Gee finally speaks again. “Sugar, why don’t we go on to bed?” Frank doesn’t hear him. He is questioning his own doubts now. _Why can’t we get married in the next two weeks? And both shows are so close by that any family that wants to be there can be. I have wanted this with Gee for years now._ “Frankie?” Gee calls a little louder.  
  
“Y-yeah?” Frank stutters, breaking free of his deep contemplation.  
  
“It’s getting late. Why don’t we go on to bed? You can sleep on it.” Frank stretches a little, not realizing until now how tired he has become. He simply nods his head and starts to untangle himself from the comforter covering him and Gee. Before he can stand up, Gee scoops him up off the sofa. Carefully Gee carries Frank into the bedroom, gently laying him down on the bed. He walks around the bed and climb in next to Frank’s warm body. Gee wraps his arms around Frank’s smaller body and pulls him in close. Frank snuggles his head into Gee’s neck. Gee can feel Frank’s steady, warm breath over his collarbone. He places a soft kiss on Frank’s forehead.  
  
Gee lies still until he’s sure Frank is asleep. He takes a finger and brushes the hair from Frank’s face.  
  
“Hey, Baby?” Frank barely whispers.  
  
“Yeah?” Gee breathes.  
  
“Ask me again.” There is moment of quiet between them. Gee presses his lips to Frank’s. Frank hardly presses back from his near sleeping state.  
  
“Will you marry me, Frankie?”  
  
“Yes, Gee, a million times.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEY! I have more than 2000 hits on this so far! I think that's great! It might not be the 4 to 5000 hits Bexless has on the Unholyverse triology, but that work of fanfiction is PHENOMENAL compaired to mine!! Thank you ALL for continuing to read my story!
> 
> And to Yekith, Gerard might be taking a "too big step" on his own, but Frank is always looking out for them! He gave it some due thought before saying yes! And really, even Gerard has thought this out a little bit! (GAH! I've been wanting to tell you that since YESTERDAY!!)


	47. Then Holding Hands And Life Was Perfect

Gee’s excited, giggly voice pulls Frank from his slumber. He lies still just listening to Gee trying to be quiet and excited at the same time, something Gee’s not that great at.  
  
“Yeah, Mikes! Just come over this evening.... We’re having a barbeque.... Just because... Yes ‘just because’... Fine! Yes, we have something we want to tell everyone, so make sure you and Alicia are here, say around 5? I’ma call Mom too! And I’m sure Frankie’s mom will be here.... I’m not answering your questions, ‘cause then you’ll figure it out!... Love you too, Mikes! Bye.”  
  
Frank hears Gee close his phone. “Come back to bed, Baby!” he whimpers in an imitation whine, never opening his eyes. “I wanna wake up snuggled next to my beautiful, wonderful, warm, sexy fiancé.” Frank hears the phone clatter onto the night stand as Gee giggles and climbs into bed without uttering a word. Frank snuggles up close to Gee’s side, nuzzling his head into Gee’s shoulder. Gee wraps his arms around Frank. They lay there tangled together for a couple of moments.  
  
Frank draws in a deep, content breath and looks up at Gee. Gee has been looking at Frank since he climbed back into the bed. “Good mornin’, my fiancé,” Frank greets with a warm smile spread wide across his face.  
  
“Good mornin’,” Gee replies, pressing his lips to Frank’s. Frank slides his tongue into Gee’s mouth. Gee allows Frank to taste him for a while before breaking the kiss. “I have planned a party for us tonight. I figure we have limited time, so we need to announce ourselves to our friends and family soon. I figured tonight would be good."  
  
“I love you!”  
  
“I know, I’m great!” Frank pulls his pillow from under his head and smacks Gee with it. Gee giggles. “Okay, okay! I love you too! Truce?”  
  
“Kiss me again, and I’ll think about it!” Frank retorts with a smirk. Gee giggles again before kissing Frank once more.  
  
“Better?”  
  
"A bit, if that's all I can get this morning... then I'll guess it'd have to do," Frank sighs playfully before making puppy dog eyes at Gee. Unable to hold it he starts to laugh at himself.  
  
“You wanna hop in the shower while I try to make us breakfast?” Gee begins climbing up from the bed. “Oh, and I washed your clothes this morning. They’re in the dryer now, so you have clean clothes to wear when you get out.”  
  
“Now _I’m_ the one marrying a girl,” Frank mumbles loud enough for Gee to hear.  
  
“...mental note: burn Frankie’s toast. Got it...” Gee quips as he walks out of the room.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“This isn’t the way to the grocery store, Gee.” Gee told Frank they needed to get the food for the barbeque. Unless Gee has begun using another grocery store on the other side of town, he's driving in the complete wrong direction.  
  
“I know. We need to make another stop first.”  
  
“Where?”  
  
“You’ll see.” Gee continues driving, leaving Frank wondering what Gee is up to. After driving for close to twenty minutes, Gee pulls in the parking lot for a small, but expensive looking store. Frank’s eyes grow wide.  
  
“Gerard, this... is a... a jewelry store.” Frank sounds a bit stunned. Gee offers Frank a loving smile then a small kiss.  
  
“Well,” Gee begins, “I do have to put _something_ on your finger next week.” Frank is still somewhat shocked. This is all real. This is really going to happen. His shock begins to give way to euphoria.  
  
Frank lets out a small shriek. “Really? We’re picking out rings?” Gee once again watches Frank’s child-like enthusiasm, one of the things Gee loves about him so much.  
  
“Any one you want, Sugar.”  
  
Once inside, Frank hesitates. He looks down into the glass case full of shiny, round symbols of love. He’s afraid to look at them, afraid to start picking one out. He feels like if he puts one on his finger, he’ll realize this is just a dream that he’ll awake from soon.  
  
Gee slides his hand around Frank’s waist and places a kiss on Frank’s cheek. “Which one do you like, Sugar?”  
  
“I-I don’t know.” Frank shifts his gaze to meet Gee’s. A smile creeps across his face. “You sure?”  
  
“Yes, Frankie.” Gee presses his lips to Frank’s. “I’m absolutely certain.” Frank’s eyes light up. He turns back to the case of glistening wedding bands.  
  
“Gee, look at this one. The black and silver Tungsten one.” Frank points at one of the rings in the case.  
  
“May I help you gentlemen?” a sales lady asks as she approaches them.  
  
“Yes ma’am. Could my _fiancé_ ,” Gee winks at Frank, “see this one.” Gee points to the one Frank was just looking at.  
  
“Certainly, sir.” She reaches into the case, pulls out the ring, and hands it to Frank. Frank carefully slides it onto his finger. “So when is the big day?” Frank smiles so big his cheek fill with a rosy blush.  
  
“Next week, actually,” Gee answers. “We just can’t wait. We’ve waited long enough already to make this right.” He squeezes Frank closer in his arms. Frank admires the ring on his left ring finger.  
  
“What do you think, Baby?”  
  
“I like it. Did you see this one?” Gee points at one a little further away from Frank. Frank’s breath catches. He pulls the black Tungsten ring off, handing it back to the sales lady.  
  
“Oh... Gee...” Frank breathes out. “It’s perfect.”  
  
“Frankie, don’t you want to try it on first?” Frank’s smile widens. Gee doesn’t believe Frank’s smile can get any bigger.  
  
“I’ll try it on, but I know that’s the one, Gee.” Frank takes a deep breath as the now watery eyed sales lady hands him the ring. Gee takes it instead and slides it over Frank’s finger. “I love it,” Frank whispers, “almost as much as I love you.” Frank holds out his hand so he and Gee can both admire the piece of gold wrapped around his finger. “Which one do you like, Gee? I mean for _you_ to wear...”  
  
“I think I’m gonna get the same one. You’re right, it’s perfect, just like you!”


	48. I Lost My Fear of Falling

Frank scampers around the kitchen putting the groceries up, other than the ones Gee is current working with. Considering the number of people invited to the get-together this evening, they have decided to grill hamburgers and hotdogs for everyone. Gee is patting out hamburgers at the counter. Frank has a hard time with anything remotely having to do with preparing or cooking food. His last attempt to cook breakfast for himself resulted in having to use a fire extinguisher and a trip to the store to buy a new toaster.  
  
His eyes keep being drawn to the small, dark grey bag with silver embossing sitting in the center of the table. As he goes to grab the last bag of groceries to put up, he stands for a moment looking at it. He is rapt with what he knows is in the bag. He recalls their trip to the jewelers this morning.  
  
“That might not be the best place to keep those, ya' know?” Gee interrupts Frank’s memory. He snaps his head around. Gee has finished patting out the burger patties and is standing holding the wrapped platter of them.  
  
“This is real,” Frank stammers out, almost sounding as if it half a question. Gee places the platter in the refrigerator and moves over to wrap his arms around Frank’s waist. He places a chaste kiss on Frank’s lips.  
  
“Yes, it is. And if you leave those just sitting there, everyone is going to know our big secret before we can make the announcement ourselves.”  
  
“Yeah, you’re right.” Frank pulls Gee closer for a moment then let’s go, turning to face the bag. As if it will vanish, Frank cautiously picks it up. His eyes flick up to Gee’s for a moment, and he smiles a contended, love-filled grin at him. Then he carries the bag into their bedroom.  
  
In the bedroom, he pulls open the nightstand drawer to place it in for safe keeping. As his arm extends the special package towards the open drawer, he has a sudden pang to see them once more. He pulls the two black velvet boxes from the bag. He places the bag down on the bed and opens one of the boxes slowly. He can’t stop a smile from growing on his lips.  
  
He pulls the white gold band from its resting place, placing the empty box and the one holding Gee’s ring down onto the bed next to the bag. He meticulous studies the intricate engravings carved in the band as he little by little turns it around in his fingertips. He glances over his shoulder to make sure he’s still alone, and then Frank slides the ring onto his finger once more. He holds his left hand with his right as he watches how the sunlight coming through the window dances and reflects off the band.  
  
“It’s absolutely perfect, Frankie.” Frank jumps slightly from the startle Gee’s voice causes. “But you know you can’t officially wear it until next week.” Gee presses his chest to Frank back, wrapping his right arm around his waist and running his left hand down Frank’s left arm and up under his palm. Gee flexes Frank’s wrist up slightly to admire the gold wrapped around Frank’s finger. He nibbles gently at Frank’s neck. Frank hums in satisfaction and leans his head away from Gee. Gee places a final kiss over Frank’s pulse. “You need to put it up and get ready. People are going to start arriving soon,” Gee whispers in Frank’s ear.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Frank stands in the room getting dressed after a quick shower. He hears the door bell ring and Gee calling out as his footsteps move across the floor. He pulls his shirt on and buttons it up. He can make out Mikey’s voice. Of course Mikey would be the first to arrive. He tucks his shirt into his skinny jeans then fastens them and his favorite studded belt. He grabs his shoes and makes his way out to the living room.  
  
“Hi, Mikes,” he calls, interrupting Mikey asking Gee if he could do something to help. Mikey turns towards him.  
  
“I suppose pestering you is gonna be as effective as it was with Gee, huh?” Mikey replies, embracing Frank.  
  
“Yep.” He turns towards the noise Gee is making in the kitchen. “Baby, you okay in there?” Gee steps around the corner. Frank notices that at some point Gee has changed his clothes and is considerably dressed down from himself.  
  
“Yeah, but, Sugar, you might want to go grab a t-shirt. You’re a bit... I mean, you look _hot_ , but a little too dressed up for a backyard barbeque.” Frank looks down at his clothes and back up to Gee. His cheeks blush slightly.  
  
“Um, yeah. Probably,” he stutters. He heads back towards the bedroom, Mikey following every step of the way.  
  
“So,” Mikey starts. “Must be important if you dress up for a barbeque.” The slight blush still in Frank’s cheeks darken to a deep red.  
  
“I’m not taking away Gee’s thunder, Mikes,” Frank says playfully. He quickly throws on one of Gee’s vintage band t-shirt. He doesn’t care if people get ideas from him wearing Gee’s clothes. They are about to announce everything anyway. Plus, he likes the way Gee’s smell, and his shirts smell like him.  
  
“That’s okay. I’m close enough to the two of you to know the ins and outs enough to figure things out.” Mikey smiles innocently at Frank as he continues, “I’m pretty sure I know your little announcement.”  
  
“Where’s Alicia?” Frank attempts to change the subjects.  
  
“She got called into work. She sends her love.” Mikey sounds a little bummed at that. Once again, the door bell rings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi to all my regular readers of AO3! I am personally inviting you all to give my new fic a try. It's titled "[Hello? Journal? It's me, Frank.](750332)" It's sort of a different kind of fic, but it's still Frerard. (Well, it will be eventually. Besides, that's all I write!)
> 
> I hope you'll give it a read! Even more, I hope you all will like it!
> 
> Hugs and Loves!  
> Miz


	49. I Will Be With You

Frank looks across the large crowd in the back yard. Apparently Gee has invited everyone in their closest circle of friends and even some people they are close to from the record label tonight.  
  
Gee has everything set up for the party already. In the kitchen is a buffet style setup. On the counter, the plates, napkins, and plasticware start the line, followed by all the condiments and toppings someone could want for a burger or hotdog and chips of all varieties. On the table, cups of ice are waiting with several varieties of soda. Out in the yard, a multitude of tables and chairs have been set up.  
  
Everyone mingles with each other as Frank makes his way through the crowd, trying to speak to as many people as he can. He briefly speaks to Abby, a long time friend of the band, instrumental in helping get gigs together at the beginning of it all.  
  
Nearby, one of the equipment managers from the studio, Kathryn, greets Frank and casually hugs him. “I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better. We were so worried about you when we heard.” Frank smiles sheepishly at her.  
  
“Thank you. Yes, I am doing better. How have you been?” he asks. He eyes the crowd briefly looking for Gee and finds him making his way across the yard towards him. He has given up his position as cook to Mikey and Ray. Frank turns his attention back to Kathryn.  
  
“I’m doing well. You remember the guy I was telling you about?”  
  
Frank nods, “Tyler, wasn’t it?” Kathryn smiles brightly, surprised Frank remembers his name.  
  
“Yeah. We’re getting kind of serious now. I wanted to thank you for your encouragement a few months ago.” Gee makes his way up, discreetly sliding his arm around Frank’s waist.  
  
“Hi, Kathryn. I hate to do this, but I must steal Frankie from you.”  
  
“Oh, that’s fine.”  
  
“You’re very welcome,” Frank replies from her statement a moment ago. “Please make yourself at home. I believe we’ll be eating soon.” He looks up to Gee.  
  
“I’m pretty sure Mikey or Ray is pulling the last of the burgers off now.” Gee begins to pull Frank away. “Your mom just arrived,” he whispers in Frank’s ear. Frank’s face lights up slightly. Gee leads Frank over to where his mother is sitting, chatting with both of Gee’s parents.  
  
“Mom,” Frank calls.  
  
“Sweetie,” Linda responds. She embraces Frank tightly.  
  
“Hi, Donald. Donna.” Frank nods his head once respectfully.  
  
“Frank,” Donald replies, standing to shake Frank’s hand.  
  
“How have you been feeling? You getting plenty of rest?” Linda questions her son.  
  
“Yeah, Mom. Gerard’s taking good care of me. I’m feeling back to my old self already.”  
  
“Good, good.” She kisses Frank’s check.  
  
“If he doesn’t,” Donna speaks up, “you let me know. I raised my boys with manners, and he better use them.”  
  
“Yes ma’am.”  
  
“Ma,” Gee squeaks embarrassed. He turns his attention to Frank. “C’mon. Let’s get this party going.”  
  
“Alright.” Frank nods his head once more towards the table of parents. “I’ll be back later.”  
  
Frank and Gee walk up to the front of the yard near the house. “Everyone...” Gee somewhat shouts. A few people quiet down. “Everyone, if I could speak please.” This time everyone goes quiet. “Frank and I would like to welcome you this evening. We’re so glad everyone could be here...”  
  
“Except Alicia,” Mikey calls from in the kitchen. Gee giggles.  
  
“...except Alicia,” he calls towards Mikey over his shoulder then addresses the crowd again. “We have burgers and hotdog for everyone. For those of you rabbit food eaters,” Gee winks at Frank, “there is a plate of veggie burgers in there as well. Once everyone has gotten a plate, Frank and I will speak to you all again to address why we have brought you all here. So please, come help yourselves.”  
  
Quickly Gee pulls Frank into the house and back towards the bedroom. Once inside, Gee shut the door in the same hurried manner, pushing Frank up against it. His lips crash against Frank’s. Frank kisses Gee back hard. Finally breaking the kiss to breathe, Gee mumbles, “Oh, I needed that. You are so cute and amazing and... just Goddamn _hot_. I couldn’t wait any longer to do that.”  
  
“I hope there’s more of that to follow tonight,” Frank suggests seductively. Gee just smirks a lustful, crooked smile. He smoothes his and Frank’s shirt and pulls the door back open. Stepping back out of the door, both wipe their face of the remaining saliva.  
  
They return to the kitchen to learn most people have made their plate. Both quickly make a plate, knowing it probably wouldn’t be eaten for a while, and make their way out to share the table with their parents.  
  
“Gee, couldn’t we eat a little bit first. It would let people settle first, and plus, I’m starvin’.” Gee settles into the seat next to Frank.  
  
“I’m hungry too. I suppose we can. Just be quick.” He leans close to Frank’s ear as to not let anyone else hear. “I can hardly wait any longer or my heart is going to explode.” For the umpteenth time tonight, Frank’s face flushes.  
  
“Me, too,” he whispers back as he places a kiss on Gee’s cheek.  
  
None of the parents speak as they watch both boys eat their food quickly. They are aware something is going on. All three of them are beaming with pride, almost as if they know. Mikey joins the table soon after Frank and Gee have begun eating.  
  
“So any word on this ‘big announcement’?” he once again prods.  
  
“Patience, Mikey. Patience,” Gee replies. He throws Mikey a quick grin and then crams another bite of his hamburger in his mouth.  
  
Within just a few minutes, Frank meets Gee’s gaze. “You ready?” he mouths to Gee. Gee just nods his head affirmatively. Both wipe their mouth with their napkins and stand from the table, taking the same place they were in before.  
  
“Family, friends...” Gee waits for the din to go silent. “I suppose we should start at the beginning, since only a very few of you know anything about any of what I’m...” He looks down at Frank. “...what _we’re_ about to tell you.” Frank looks back up to Gee. Gee can see the euphoria glowing on Frank’s boyish features. He has never been so sure something is right. “A few months ago, I got lost in a moment at one of our shows. I’m sure you all have seen the internet video of that moment, but just in case you haven’t, let me fill you in. I kissed this man next to me,” Gee pauses and looks down at Frank. His minds briefly wanders back to that hotel room after the show and how calm Frank was about all of it. He smiles at Frank then looks back out towards the awaiting ears. “That kiss set into motion something I could never have dreamed, and it all led to us sitting here this evening.” He looks to Frank to continue.  
  
“As many of you know, I have had a thing for Gerard for some time. But most of you don’t know that he and I have been dating for a good bit of the last few months since that kiss.” The group of family and friends begin cheering, and Frank waits for them to settle back down. “But that’s not all we have to say this evening. Gee and I have grown quite close. We’ve shared a good number of things together, including Gee sobering up and my suicide attempt.” As if rehearsed, Frank stops for Gee to continue.  
  
“In all that we have faced, I have come to understand how much Frank really means to me. So,” Gee places a quick kiss on Frank’s lips, “last night, I asked Frank to marry me.” Without hesitation, Frank speaks back up.  
  
“And I said ‘yes.’”


	50. We Can Wash Down This Engagement Ring With Poison and Kerosene

_“So,” Gee places a quick kiss on Frank’s lips, “last night, I asked Frank to marry me.” Without hesitation, Frank speaks back up.  
  
“And I said ‘yes.’”_  
  
The cheers erupt from the crowd of family and friends once again, only this time many of them stand. Knowing everyone is going to rush them to speak with them, Gee and Frank hurriedly make their way back to their parents. They are the first people both want to speak to first. Both mothers grab their individual sons, lavishing praises and kisses on both boys. Within moments, the mothers switch boys bestowing blessings on the upcoming nuptials. Finally managing to break free, Frank and Gee turn to Mikey and Donald.  
  
“I knew it,” Mikey states coolly through his smug grin, pulling all three of them into a hug together. Gee can see his father waiting patiently over Mikey’s shoulder. Donald appears close to tears of joys. Mikey releases Gee and turns his attention to Frank.  
  
Gee anxiously takes a step towards his father. Both just look at each other for a moment.  
  
“Dad…” Gee says, unsure himself if it is a statement or a question. Donald wraps his arms around him in loving embrace.  
  
“I’m so proud of you son. Frank’s real… no, you’re _both_ really lucky to have each other,” Donald whispers in his son’s ear, squeezing him slightly tighter before letting him go.  
  
“Thanks, Dad.” Gee realizes Frank has stepped up beside him as his father begins address Frank.  
  
“Welcome to the family, Frank… officially, I mean.”  
  
“Thanks, Donald,” Frank says, his huge smile spread across his face.  
  
“No, no, no. Call me ‘dad’ now, just like my boys do.”  
  
“Okay, Dad.”  
  
“Well,” Linda cuts in, “when’s the big day? You two have any ideas, yet?”  
  
Gee and Frank exchange a glance. Gee chuckles nervously, turning back to answer the question, but before he can, Donna cuts the conversation short.  
  
“I think you two need to go address this large crowd. They are all clambering to get to you to speak.” Gee nods, grateful he doesn’t have to tell the mothers they aren’t going to get to plan the wedding event of the century.  
  
Gee and Frank spend the remainder of the evening speaking with nearly every individual that was invited to the get together. Frank notices some champagne being passed around. Unsure of how it got here or who brought it in, a twinge of fear grips him, but he does his best to shake it off and continue speaking with the remaining friends and family.  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
As the crowd begins to disperse, Frank realizes Gee has gone missing. He begins to make his way into the house, getting stopped by his mother to bid him a good night. He hugs her once more, placing a quick kiss on her cheek, before resuming his search for Gee.  
  
As he steps into the kitchen, he can hear laughter and reminiscent conversation coming from the living room. He recognizes Gee’s voice immediately, but Gee’s voice carries a tone Frank hasn’t heard in a while.  
  
As he rounds the corner into the living room, he finds Trey, Kai, and Jamie, long time friends of Gee’s, all cutting up with Gee, who is slightly swaying in his spot on the sofa. Frank stands for a minute watching the horrendous scene before him…  
  
Gee is drunk.  
  
“Frank…” He’s not sure which of them spoke; all he knows is Gee’s frame goes motionless, without even the movement of breathing. Frank is trying hard not to loose his cool, to give Gee the benefit of the doubt, but he feels his blood reaching a boiling point. The same voice calls out again, “Frank, come have a drink with us.” Frank sees Gee’s body physically flinch at the word ‘drink.’ Gee slowly twists his body at the waist to face Frank from the sofa.  
  
“Frank…” His voice is small. Frank looses it.  
  
“What the hell, Gee?! I mean, just what the FUCKING HELL?!” The other guys’ faces drop to match the look on Gee’s face.  
  
Trey steps up, “Frank, it wasn’t his fault—”  
  
“NOT HIS FAULT?! Did you force him to drink? Did you put a gun to his head to make him drink it?”  
  
This time it is Kai that speaks. “It was just some champagne, Frank. Don’t—”  
  
“ _Just_ some champagne,” Frank repeats incredulously. Gee again flinches at Frank’s suddenly frighteningly dark tone. Frank lets out a vehement chuckle. “Just some champagne,” Frank repeats again, barely a whisper to himself, shaking his head. He eyes the three of Gee’s friends, his voice low and seething “Alcohol is alcohol. How _dare_ you bring _any_ type of alcohol into this house.”  
  
“Frank, he tried to tell us… honestly, Frank. It’s not all his fault.” Gee just sits on the sofa. He knows he and Frank will discuss this after the guys leave. He hangs his head shamefully, unable to look at Frank any longer.  
  
“So you knew he was sober, you knew he didn’t want any, but you what? Kept picking at him until he gave in?” Frank shoots the three guys now huddling together a look. “Get out of our house,” Frank demands in the same low and seething voice as before. The three stand still, not out of defiance but fear. “GET OUT!” This time the three quickly exit the house.  
  
Silence hangs between Gee and Frank for a couple of moments. He stands and takes a few slightly unstable steps towards Frank. He’s barely tipsy but barely is more drunk than he should be, and he knows it. Finally Gee gathers the courage to speak.  
  
“Frankie…”  
  
Frank sounds exhausted suddenly. “Just go to bed, Gee. Sleep it off, and we’ll talk about it in the morning.” Gee doesn’t miss the undertones of disappointment hidden beneath the exhaustion in Frank’s voice.  
  
“Are… are you comin’… with me?”  
  
Frank just stands there, not answering Gee. After a minute, Gee’s head drops once again as he turns for the bedroom. Frank collaspes down onto the sofa, his head buried in his hands.


	51. Know How Much I Want to Show You You're the Only One

Gee jerks awake. He feels like his heart is thumping against the inside of his skull. The throbbing pain doesn’t bother him as much as the realization Frank still hasn’t come to bed. He knows it’s well into the night, and probably very early morning. He throws his feet over the edge of the bed and drags himself off of it. Why did he let them talk him into drinking anything with alcohol in it? Besides the fact it took way less than he remembered to get him drunk, _probably because I’ve lost my tolerance to it_ , it has created a problem between him and Frank he wishes he can erase.  
  
He stumbles into the living room, his head hurting even worse from forcing himself to move during his first hangover in what seems like forever. He spots Frank sleeping restlessly on the sofa, looking like he had finally just fell over from fatigue. Gee takes a few more steps closer to Frank. Frank is clutching something in his sleep. Gee squints his eyes to try to focus his vision a little better. A piece of paper, Frank is holding a piece of paper to his chest.  
  
Letting his curiosity get the better of him, Gee slowly lifts Frank’s limp hands off the paper far enough to slide it out with his other hand then, just as slowly, lets Frank’s hands rest on his chest again. He takes a step back and watches to see if Frank stirs. When he doesn’t, Gee turn his attention to the piece of paper. It looks vaguely familiar. As Gee turns it over and his vision adjusts a little more to the dark, Gee heart drops out of his head and down to the bottom of his stomach.  
  
It’s not _just_ a piece of paper. It’s Gee’s drawing, the drawing from so long ago that Frank values so dearly. Gee shifts his gaze over the top edge of the paper to Frank’s sleeping face. Wishing he could fix this whole damned situation and wash the pain off Frank’s heart as easily as he washes his charcoal off his fingers, an idea comes to him.  
  
He quietly crosses the living room to his drawing table and sits down on the edge of the chair. He picks up one of his charcoal pencils and scrawls on the bottom corner of the page. Once done, he places the pencil back down and looks at the newest addition. _Perfect. Just perfect._  
  
Trying to maintain silent motion, he crosses back across the living and replaces the paper in Frank’s embrace. He goes into the spare room, gathers a blanket, and carries it back out to where Frank is. Using painfully slow motions, Gee lifts Frank’s legs onto the sofa, and then he drapes the retrieved blanket over Frank’s sleeping body. He starts to leave him but stops after only a step.  
  
Gee turns to look at Frank once more. He knows he is risking awaking Frank if he touches him again, but the urge in him is too strong to ignore. Gee closes the distance between them and leans down to Frank’s face, pressing his lips lightly to Frank’s cheek and then whispering, “I love you _so_ much, Frankie, and I’m sorry about tonight.”  
  
“I know,” Frank mumbles from his sleep. Gee freezes at Frank’s words, afraid he has indeed awakened him. He watches Frank’s face for a moment, seeing the motion of REM sleep in Frank’s closed eyes. Gee’s silently sighs with relief, knowing that Frank wasn’t really replying to his inadequate apology.  
  
Gee makes his way back to his room. Climbing into bed alone, he realizes how accustomed he has become to having Frank snuggled in next to him at night and how big and empty the bed seems without Frank there.  
  


\----------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
The early morning rays of sunlight gently wake Frank from his slumber. He tugs off the blanket and sit upright on the sofa, stretching his limbs that are sore and stiff from sleeping on the old sofa last night. As he stands to head for the bathroom, he remembers he didn’t have a blanket when he fell asleep last night. A small smile graces his lips, knowing Gee had come to check on him at some point throughout the night. But the smile is quickly lost to the concern for how Gee is doing this morning. Frank quickly grabs the blanket and begins folding it up. The drawing falls softly to the floor. Frank finishes folding up the blanket and picks up the well-worn piece of paper without looking at it.  
  
He makes a fast trip to the bathroom, and then he heads quietly into the bedroom. Gee appears to be peacefully sleeping yet lonely, tightly hugging Frank’s pillow to his chest. Frank slides open the lower nightstand drawer as silently as possible to safely tuck away his cherished possession. He glances down towards it and then does a double take at the fresh charcoal markings on the bottom.  
  
The embarrassment of being caught with it in his sleep last night begins to mix with elation as he reads the newly written words of Gee’s.  
  
“I do. A million times, I do.”  
  
Frank can feel the remaining bitterness of last night’s anger give way to forgiveness. He knows he and Gee must still have a conversation about it all, but also knows this is an apology of sorts from Gee. It is evidence of Gee’s remorse. Frank places the drawing carefully back in the notebook where he keeps it safely stored and slides the drawer shut.  
  
He pulls his clothes off and climbs into the bed, carefully wedging himself into Gee’s arms as a replacement for the pillow. As he settles in for another hour or so worth of sleep, he looks at Gee’s face closely. Frank can see the dried remnants of tears on Gee’s cheeks and pillow. Subconsciously, Gee pulls Frankie in closer, his face relaxing as if he’d been having a nightmare that has finally ended. Frank’s heart skips a beat.  
  
“I love you, Babe,” Frank breathes forgivingly as he snuggles into Gee’s warm body and closes his eyes.


	52. How Much You Mean to Me

Gee snuggles closer to Frank’s warm body after looking into his perfect face for some time. He’s not sure when Frank came to bed, but Gee’s somber mood was lightened to find him in bed when he awoke. Frank’s gentle, rhythmic breathing brings a quiet serenity to the room. Gee can still smell the different perfumes of all the people that had hugged them both the previous night lingering on Frank.  
  
Last night… Gee recounts telling everyone the big news and how everyone was so happy for them. He’s relieved to not have any of the feelings of panic or horror he had expected to have this morning. All he feels is peace. Maybe it is everything that happened and the realization Frank had in fact came to bed last night after all… maybe it is just Frank’s peaceful sleep permeating Gee’s being… whatever it is, Gee’s grateful for the tranquility. Gee slides his hand under Frank’s limp hand resting on Gee’s hip. He lies still treasuring the skin to skin contact of their bodies and just trying to etch this entire scene, this entire moment, in his memory forever until Frank begins to stir.  
  
Gee is suddenly afraid to speak.

 _Is Frank still mad? Have I messed everything up too badly?_ Gee knows he was only slightly intoxicated last night; he can remember ever agonizing minute of it. If he had been truly drunk, it would all be hazy… if he remembered it at all.  
  
“Thank you for the blanket last night,” Frank speaks softly to Gee. Gee smiles shyly, his fears suddenly washing away.  
  
“You were cold. I could see you shivering.” They lie tangled together in silence for a while. Gee finally gathers the strength to speak again. “I’m sorry about last night, Frank. I ruined the whole night for you.”  
  
“Gee…” Frank tries to interrupt, but Gee doesn’t let him.  
  
“I didn’t think just one glass would break me. But they kept pushing me, and I wasn’t strong enough to tell them no. Before I knew it, I wasn’t trying to resist anymore… I just… Frankie, I was so wrong to ruin last night for you.” Gee is staring off at a random spot on the wall behind frank.  
  
“I know, Gee.” Frank places a chaste kiss on Gee’s lips, drawing Gee’s gaze to Frank’s after he breaks the kiss. “I know you’re sorry. I know those guys can be aggressive sometimes. I know emotions were high and you were somewhat vulnerable, too. And it’s okay, Gerard… it really is. You slipped up and learned a hard-earned lesson. And I’ll tell you a little secret…” Gee continues to look hard at this, right now, flawless man lying with him. “…I have faith you’ll be stronger next time.”  
  
The only response Gee can muster is to kiss Frank. Frank doesn’t resist, his lips melting into Gee’s. The soft, thankful kiss deepens into a more passionate one. Frank begins giggling against Gee’s mouth. Gee finally breaks the kiss and looks quizzically at Frank.  
  
“What?” he asks gently when Frank doesn’t volunteer what’s so funny.  
  
“We never got to do this last night,” Frank says through his smile, biting his lip ring afterwards.  
  
“So how ‘bout now?”  
  
Frank giggles innocently. He reaches into the nightstand drawer for the lube. “Now sounds good…”  
  
Frank lays the lube on the bed in front of Gee’s chest. Gee pick it up and shifts onto his back. With his unoccupied hand, Gee lightly grasps Frank’s still growing length and begins delicately caressing it, his eyes locked on Frank’s. Frank understands what Gee is implying. His smile widens slightly. Gee knows Frank gets the idea and holds the tube back out towards Frank. Frank takes it and flips open the cap.  
  
Repositioning slightly for better access, Frank presses two fingers into Gee. Gee whimpers a little but doesn’t stop the motion o f his hand against Frank’s now hard being. Frank slowly moves his fingers around, eliciting more grunts and deep sounds from Gee. Once the sounds become more like moans, Frank slides a third finger in. Gee’s eyes momentarily roll up in his head, his hand finally ceasing its motions.  
  
After only a couple more minutes, Gee’s entrance is relaxed. Frank rubs some lube on them both and positions himself between Gee’s thighs. Moving with slow, cautious movements, Frank pushes himself into Gee’s body. A throaty sound escapes Frank’s lips. He leans down and kisses Gee, playfully running his tongue over Frank’s lower lip.  
  
Kissing his way down to Gee’s neck, Frank begins moving his hips. They are in no hurry.  
  
“Oh, God… I love you, Frank,” Gee murmurs, his voice slightly hitching in cadence to Frank’s slow pace.  
  
“I love you, too, Babe…” Frank presses his lips heatedly against Gee’s. For what seems like hours, the two bodies writhe gently together, the sound of moans and breathed-out names filling the air. For only the second time, they make sweet love instead of straight-out lust-filled fucking. Waves of ecstasy finally wash over them both, and Frank collapses onto Gee’s chest.


	53. Covered in Cake

“So I did some looking, and right near the Palladium in Worcester, Massachusetts next week,” Frank starts as he and Gee are finally getting dressed, “there’s this park called Elm Park. It has a bunch of old bridges and stuff. It looks really pretty. I wouldn’t mind having the wedding there.”  
  
“If that’s where you want to have it, it’s fine with me.” Gee pulls on a black leather jacket over his old band t-shirt. “I suppose we need to have an idea of where to have it before our appointment today.”  
  
Frank giggles at the thought of what they are getting ready for. Today, they are making some arrangements for the wedding. “The only problem with Massachusetts is the law requiring a three day wait for the license.”  
  
“I think we pass through there a few days before. We’ll just have to make sure we stop and apply on our way through.” Gee hugs Frank tightly, rubbing a hand up and down Frank’s back, and places a quick kiss on Frank’s cheek. “We’ll get it worked out. You ‘bout ready to leave?”  
  
Frank looks down at himself, eyeing what he can see of his clothes pressed against Gee’s. “I guess.”  
  
In the car, the conversation continues. “How formal do you want this to be? The wedding, I mean.” Gee asks Frank.  
  
“Not too formal, really. I’d be happy to marry you in a courthouse honestly. I just want to make it official.” Frank turns his gaze towards Gee as Gee drives down the road. A large grin grows on Gee’s features.  
  
“Well, you said you like that park. Do you want a ceremony and a party afterwards?”  
  
“I’d like that, but not a huge one. Just a few family friends, like less than the party last night… and

 _those_ three aren’t invited.” Gee laughs at Frank’s tone.  
  
“I completely agree.”  
  
“What do you want, Gee? You keep asking me what I want, but don’t you have something you want for our wedding?”  
  
“You to be happy?” Gee pauses. He really doesn’t care. He never thought he’d be marrying anyone, so whatever Frank wants is what it will be. “I really don’t have any specific desires.”  
  
“Uh-huh,” Frank grunts, completely unconvinced.  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
The young lady at the counter smiles sweetly at them as Frank and Gee stroll into the bakery hand in hand. Gee has long since left his qualms about public displays of affection behind. “How may I help you?” she asks.  
  
“We have an appointment for a cake tasting,” Gee replies, nodding his head Frank’s direction.  
  
“And what name was it made under?”  
  
“Iero-Way.” Frank looks to Gee as the woman walks into the back.  
  
“Iero-Way?” he asks Gee.  
  
“I didn’t know whose name to give them, so I gave them both,” Gee giggles. Frank thinks for a minute.  
  
“Frank Iero-Way… Gerard Iero-Way…” he whispers to himself, before announcing to Gee, “I like it. We should change our names to that.” Gee winks at Frank.  
  
“I like it, too.”  
  
“Iero-Way party,” a different woman calls from behind the counter.  
  
“We’re here,” Frank answers this time, raising an open hand up next to his head.  
  
“If you’ll follow me please…” She is wearing a white uniform covered on the front in little splotches of colors. Gee can appreciate the “artist look;” he often wears stains of ink on his hands. Her short, strawberry-blonde hair is pulled back behind her head. She leads the two to a smaller room that is obviously decorated to please the taste of discriminating brides and not two men. In the center of the room is a table with six chairs.  
  
“Let me start with, my name is Cara. I’m the head decorator here. I do all the wedding cakes. It’s nice to meet you.”  
  
“I’m Gerard. This is Frank.”  
  
“Do you not have anyone else with you today?” she asks politely.  
  
“No, it’s just us. We’re kinda planning this with very short notice.”  
  
Cara nods. “I’m just not used to consultations with only the groom.”  
  
Gee gives her a puzzled look, but Frank catches her mistake. “We’re both ‘the groom’ actually. We’re marrying each other.”  
  
“Well, congratulations,” Cara states with mock enthusiasm. Frank’s not sure if this is just mundane and routine to her or if she has a problem with same-sex marriage, but he dismisses her attitude. “I’m assuming then you aren’t marrying in New Jersey.”  
  
“No, we’re thinking Elm Park in Worcester.”  
  
“Oh, that’s a nice place. We do a lot of cakes for weddings out there. You said this is being planned quickly. How soon will you be needing the cake?”  
  
Gee and Frank exchange a glance. “Eleven days,” they answer in unison.  
  
“As long I have more than seven… So, any ideas on the cake?”  
  
“Is there… what options are there?” Gee’s never thought much about wedding cakes, but how many kinds could there be?  
  
“You can do a stacked tiered cake, a separated tiered cake, cheesecakes, individual cakes for each table at the reception… I’ve even done a wedding that the bride wanted a display of cupcakes. So, any ideas?”  
  
“Babe?” Gee looks to Frank. Frank just looks back at him then turns towards Cara.  
  
“A regular cake?”  
  
“Let’s do this…” Cara stands and steps over to a small shelf with several binders on it. She pulls one off and settles back down at the table, flipping open the cover and turning it to face the guys. “This is a book of examples. If you see anything that catches your eye, we can take that and customize it for you, make it a little more ‘you’.”  
  
Frank flips a couple of pages. Both of them carefully look at each page. Most of the cakes are very traditional with a bride and groom on top of it, lots of white and pink, plenty of flowers, and dainty details. Frank finally speaks up after looking at over a dozen pictures, “Do you have anything less… less gir—feminine?”  
  
Cara smiles. “Towards the back.” She leans over and flips quite a few pages in the book. “Here we go. Could you tell me more about yourselves or your wedding? I might be able to help you narrow it down.”  
  
After another hour and a half, Frank and Gee have helped Cara design a custom wedding cake. They have had what seems like an entire meal of different types of cake layers and icings and selected their favorites of the group. Once they have reserved the park for the date next week, the only thing left to do is pay for the cake and the delivery fees.


	54. Imaginary Wedding Gown

“What about this one?” Frank pulls out another tux from the rack. Gee crinkles his nose, slightly shaking his head no.  
  
“It’s too… too traditional… too _normal_ for us.”  
  
Frank had called and made the reservations for the park for the day before the show in Massachusetts. Today, they are selecting their tuxedos.  
  
“They have more, Gerard,” Frank states with a slight chuckle in his voice. “We’ve only looked at two.”  
  
“I want something with an ascot, none of this tie bull shit… and a ruffled shirt.”  
  
Frank laughs, “Let’s see what we can find.” Frank rummages through the rack some more. Gee gingerly touches a few like he might catch a deadly disease.  
  
He knows he wants this. He wants to marry Frank, but this is moving very quickly. When he proposed the idea of getting married before the show, he hadn’t thought of how fast all the arrangements would need to be made. He glances at Frank. The look on Frank’s face exudes his elation of the whole process. Gee tries to smile to himself, to tell himself he’s just having cold feet. He lifts the sleeve of another tux with a couple of fingertips.  
  
“Gee! Gee!” Frank calls overly enthusiastically. _He must have found something_ , Gee thinks. “Look at this one, Gee.” Frank is pulling the tux off the rack. All Gee can see is the back of it until Frank turns it around. Gee smiles, a genuine smile this time.  
  
“I love it, Sugar. But what are you going to wear?”  
  
“I know exactly what I want,” Frank answers with a wink. All Gee can do is giggle. “Why don’t you go try this one on while I go find mine?”  
  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Gee stands in front of the three panel mirror looking at himself in the suit he is going to marry Frank in. A wave of nausea twists his stomach. He lets his eyes slip shut, drawing in a slow, deep breath and holding it. _I love him. That’s why I’m here._ Gee slowly lets the air out of his lungs as his chin drops to his chest. _This is just nerves. I never thought I’d be marrying anyone. I know I want to marry Frank. I do!_  
  
“Gee, how’s it goin’ in there? Let me see!” Gee startles at Frank’s voice jerking him back to reality from his thoughts. He says the first thing that comes to his mind.  
  
“You can’t see me right now. It’s bad luck!” he exclaims in a voice he hopes doesn’t show his jittery nerves right now.  
  
“That’s for the bride in her dress, dummy.”  
  
“Well…” Gee easily slides back into a joking manner, “we seem to be short one of those in this party here, so _I_ am applying it to both of us.” Gee can hear Frank’s stifled giggles through the door of the dressing room.  
  
After a moment Frank responds. “Fine. Then I’m going to try mine on then. And I’m not gonna even let you see it on the hanger,” a mock tone of aggravation in his voice.  
  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
“What else are we going to do today?” Frank knows he has a plan for the rest of the day, if he can get Gee to go along.  
  
“Lunch? I don’t know.” Gee has been unusually quiet since they left the tuxedo shop. He is still reeling from the bout of apprehension he had back there. And he knows Frank must have plans. The question is what Frank wants to go do.  
  
“We still have time for a drive. I don’t mind drivin’ it. You can lay back and nap if you want.” Gee eyes Frank from the passenger seat. Frank never takes his eyes off the road, telling Gee this is going to be something hard for Frank to ask for.  
  
“Where are we driving _to_ , Frankie?” Gee asks as playfully as he can manage, trying to make this request easier for him.  
  
Frank just stares straight ahead. He finally takes a breath and rushes out, “Massachusetts.”  
  
Gee knows why and the knotted feeling in his stomach suddenly returns. He swallows hard. “I thought we were going to do that on our way through there before hand,” his voice losing his lighthearted tone.  
  
“I just…” Frank hesitates, “I just wanna make sure it’s taken care of. I don’t wanna run into any problems.”  
  
They sit in silence for a minute. To Gee, this is the final commitment, going to apply for the marriage license. And Frank knows it. Gee swallows down the bile masquerading as anxiety in his throat.  
  
“We don’t have to, Gee. I was just trying to make sure we didn’t run into any problems.” Gee can hear the slight disappointment in Frank’s words. His lips begin to part, about to speak as he turns towards Frank. Frank raises his left hand to brush a strand of hair out of his face. That faint pink line catches Gee’s gaze.  
  
As suddenly as his anxiety had appeared, a wave of calm replaces it. Just as he had told Frank it would, that permanent mark is all Gee needs to remind him that this is exactly as it should be and how much he loves Frank. He slides his hand over Frank’s thigh, patting the inside of it softly.  
  
“I suppose we should get something to eat on the way, don’t you?”


	55. Touched By Angels, Though I fall Out of Grace

“May I help you, sirs?” the lady behind the counter greets. She has dark brown hair pulled up behind her head, with dark brown eyes, and wears a shade of pink lip gloss that matches her blouse. Frank practically bounces up to the counter.  
  
“We need to apply for a marriage license,” he states overly enthusiastic. Gerard just giggles.  
  
“And this is for a same sex marriage?”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” The lady smiles at Frank.  
  
“Are you aware that only a few states will recognize yours as a lawful union? In most states, your completed marriage license will be just another piece of paper.”  
  
“We live in New Jersey,” Frank answers her question, knowing she would know that New Jersey law recognizes same sex marriages.  
  
“Oh, okay.” She pulls a few sheets of paper from a drawer below the counter and then clips them on a clipboard. “Fill these out, and then bring them back up to the counter,” she states as Frank takes the clipboard.  
  
The two take a seat across the lobby, and Frank begins filling out the paperwork. It’s basic information about their addresses, parents’ names, dates of birth, et cetera. Gerard notices a young, blonde girl taking quite the interest in Frank. Jealousy begins to stir in the pit of his stomach unknowingly.  
  
Once Frank has filled in as much of the information as he can, he passes the clipboard to Gerard. Gerard busies himself with filling in the still blank entries.  
  
“I like your tattoos. Those are pretty awesome,” Gerard hears a female voice say. He looks up and straight into the face of the young blonde.  
  
“Thanks,” Frank replies nonchalantly, hardly glancing at the girl. He’s more interested in Gerard finishing up the paperwork.  
  
“Are you getting married?”  
  
“Yes, _we_ are,” Gerard snaps a little too harshly. Frank smiles and pats his thigh.  
  
“This is my fiancé,” Frank informs her, barely tossing her a second glance.  
  
“Oh.” The blonde girl sounds deflated and walks off.  
  
“This isn’t the best place to be trying to meet someone,” Gerard mumbles as he rolls his eyes at her back.  
  
“She wasn’t my type,” Frank jokes. “She wasn’t Gerardy enough for me.”  
  
Gerard lets out a single chuckle and smiles at Frank. “Gerardy?”  
  
“Would you prefer ‘Gerard-like’?” Frank laughs. “Just finish the paperwork.”  
  
Gerard quickly finishes and signs his name under Frank’s. He takes a deep breath, relieved that all that’s left now are the I do’s; he knows Frank is happy about that as well. Both walk back over to the counter, Frank still practically bouncing.  
  
“Finished?” the lady in the pink shirt asks.  
  
“Yes we are,” Gerard answers this time. The lady looks over the paperwork.  
  
“And I’m going to need both of your state issued ID’s please.” She pauses. “You know these applications are public records, right?” she asks when she notices their employment information. “This isn’t going to be kept confidential.”  
  
Frank’s face scrunches in concern as he turns it towards Gerard, his bounce suddenly gone. Gerard smiles sweetly at him and winks.  
  
“We don’t plan on keeping it secret for long. We plan on making it known to our fans _very_ soon.” Frank’s face relaxes into a grin, and Gerard pecks his lips. “Why would we want to keep it a secret, Sugar?” he asks Frank directly but rhetorically. Frank only smiles bigger in reply, his bounce returning once again.  
  
“Okay, then,” the lady behind the counter interrupts their moment. “It appears everything is in order. Out of state applications take a few extra days sometimes, so your license should be ready for pick up in a little over a week. All I need now is to go make copies of your driver’s licenses. I’ll be right back.” She walks through a door and out of sight.  
  
“See, Baby? It’s good we came today instead of waiting,” Frank slightly taunts Gerard.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I guess you were right, Frankie.”  
  
Quickly the lady returns. “Here are your ID’s back. I wish you both congratulations and the best of luck.”  
  
“Thank you,” the pair replies in unison. They turn and walk out of the office, and Gerard sees the young blonde again eyeing Frank. He glares at the girl and laces his fingers between Frank’s.  
  
Once they are back out in the parking lot, Frank speaks. “What was all that jealousy about?” his tone soft.  
  
“I didn’t like her ogling at you like that.”  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, you know. I’m all yours… forever.”  
  
“I know, Sugar, I know. I’ll just be a little more at ease when everyone else knows it too.” To Gerard’s surprise, he actually means it and in more than one way.  
  
They make it to the car and both climb in. “You sure? I got the feeling you were a little weirded out earlier at the Tux shop.”  
  
“Bein’ honest, I was, but I’ll be okay. I really do love you! And in all seriousness, I am a little excited about making the big announcement to our fans. I think they are going to take the news really well.”  
  
Frank is speechless. Gerard is seldom that open and honest with him, but he knows Gerard is telling the truth. And this truth is welcome knowledge to Frank’s ears.


	56. We'd Be Together Now

By the time the guys get home, it’s growing late into the night. They had driven on a little farther to see the park in person where they would be saying their vows, and then they had stopped once they were back on the road towards home for some dinner. The closer towards home they got, the more peaceful Gee became with this whole thing.  
  
Gee unlocks the door and steps in ahead of Frank. As soon as Frank shuts the door and turns to walk further in, Gee smashes their lips together. Frank melts into Gee’s touch. Their tongues dance together in what has become second nature to them both. Not really wanting to, Frank breaks the passionate kiss.  
  
“You couldn’t wait until we made it to the bed?” Frank asks in a quiet, joking manner.  
  
“Nah-ah,” Gee breathes. He wraps a hand around the back of Frank’s head to pull him back into another kiss while the fingers of his other hand hook into the waistband of Frank’s jeans. Frank hums into the kiss at the sensation of Gee beginning to undo his jeans. This time Gee breaks the kiss.  
  
Hanging on to the button on Frank’s jeans, Gee pulls the willing Frank towards to bedroom, not even bothering to turn on any lights. As they enter, Gee turns towards Frank and slides his hand over Frank’s hips under his undone jeans, hooking his thumbs on the waistband. He slowly slides the jeans down, enjoying the sensation of rubbing Frank the way he is and the sight of Frank’s freshly unclothed hard-on.  
  
A low, throaty groan escapes Frank as Gee begins teasing the tip of Frank’s length with his tongue. Without warning, Frank pushes Gee off balance and into the floor. He quickly disposes of his jeans into the darkness and goes to work on doing the same with Gee’s jeans. After they too have disappeared into the dark, Frank straddles Gee’s hips and begins moving his hips, rubbing their hard dicks together.  
  
“You couldn’t wait until we got to the bed?” Gee mocks in a tone that can’t hide his desire.  
  
“You didn’t seem like you cared much about the bed. But I suppose the lube is in the nightstand, isn’t it?” Frank replies, his own lust as evident as Gee’s.  
  
“Mm-hmm,” Gee hums.  
  
“But I like the floor…” Even though he can barely see in the darkness, Gee knows Frank is giving him puppy eyes.  
  
“You’re the one gonna have rug burn on your knees in the morning, not me.”  
  
Gee hears Frank giggle. “Then I suppose I’ll have to grab the comforter while I’m getting the lube, won’t I?” Frank quickly retrieves the two items. Gee takes the opportunity to lose his shirt. Frank does the same while Gee spreads the comforter out.  
  
Without wasting any more time, Frank pours some lube on his fingers, smearing it on Gee’s entrance before sliding in two fingers. Gee moans in approval. Frank goes to work stretching Gee out while rubbing and gently tugging on Gee’s balls. Gee quickly adapts, and Frank slides in another finger. A deep sound rolls off Gee’s tongue resembling Frank’s name. Frank takes it as a sign that Gee is prepared enough.  
  
Frank gets up on his knees and presses the tip of his length against Gee’s awaiting entrance. Slowly Frank pushes himself into Gee’s warmth. Gee pushes up against Frank. Frank moves his hips gently at first to somewhat allow Gee to adjust.  
  
“Oh my… Frank…” Gee moans.  
  
“Uh-huh,” Frank breathes in reply.  
  
Gee bucks his hips to urge Frank to thrust faster, which Frank is happy to oblige. Gee slides his hands around Frank’s side and digs his fingertips into his shoulders, pulling them chest to chest.  
  
Together two bodies writhe on the floor in the dark, filling the room with moans and breathily called names. Gee runs his hands down Frank’s sides and down to his ass, cupping a cheek in each hand. Frank thrusts deeper causing Gee’s back to arch sharply. The friction of both of their stomachs on Gee’s length brings him over the edge, and his thick, white juice forces its way out. Feeling the warmth of Gee’s cum on his stomach and the clinching of Gee’s muscles brings Frank closer to own bliss. He slams his hips into Gee’s ass only a few more times before releasing his own orgasm inside of Gee.  
  
Sweaty and spent, Frank collapses on Gee’s chest. Gee slides his hands back up the small of Frank’s back to encircle Frank. Frank lies still, enjoying the smell of Gee’s musk, the sound of Gee’s heart racing, and the feeling of Gee’s arms wrapped around him. There is absolutely no other place in the entire world Frank or Gee would rather be.  
  
After some time has passed, Gee asks, “Frankie, Sugar, are you ever going to pull out?”  
  
“Why? I love where I’m at.”  
  
“But I need to go pee.”  
  
Frank groans. “Okay, fine then,” he replies in mock frustration. While Gee goes to relieve himself, Frank makes his way through the dark to replace the comforter on the bed and put the lube back in the drawer.  
  
When Gee returns, Frank begins to walk out of the room.  
  
“Where are you going?”  
  
“You’re not the only one that has to go, Babe.”  
  
Gee flips on the light for only a moment to see that Frank has readied the bed for them. He flips the light back off and climbs into their bed. Shortly after, Frank joins him.  
  
“I’m surprised we aren’t sleeping in the floor,” Gee jests at Frank.  
  
“Nah. It’s been a long day, and I’d rather sleep in our comfy bed snuggled up to my comfy soon-to-be-husband.”  
  
“I love you, Frankie,” Gee says softly.  
  
“I love you too, Gee.”  
  
They snuggle up close together to get a peaceful night’s sleep.


	57. Let's Go Down!

“Do you have everything?” Frank calls out from the bedroom as he zips up another piece of their luggage.  
  
“Yes,” Gee calls back.  
  
“You got the tuxes?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“The vows?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“The list of phone numbers for the bakery, the caterer, the priest… everybody?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“The marriage license?”  
  
“Frankie…” Gee calls back unamused, “we haven’t picked it up yet.”  
  
“Just makin’ sure you’re listening.” Frank walks into the living room where Gee is gathering all of their bags by the door. He drags the luggage over to the pile and then wraps his arms around Gee’s torso.  
  
“You realize the next time we walk back through that door, we’ll be husband and husband?” Gee asks.  
  
Frank pecks Gee’s lips. “I do, Baby.”  
  
“It doesn’t count yet,” Gee muses.  
  
“Just practicing,” Frank says as he turns away once again to retrieve another bag.  
  
“Ray oughta be here shortly.” Gee checks his watch. “Actually, _already_!”  
  
Frank reemerges from the bathroom. “He’ll be here,” he replies, as he tosses the toiletries bag on top of the rest of bags. Right then, there’s a knock on the door. Gee swings it open in a huff.  
  
“Finally…” he greets Ray.  
  
Ray smirks. “In a hurry to get married?”  
  
“He’s excited,” Frank retorts. “We _both_ are.”  
  
Ray throws his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Sorry. So what are we taking of this pile here?”  
  
“All of it,” Gee answers.  
  
“ _All of it?!_ My car’s not that big, ya know! I mean, girls pack this much.”  
  
“That’d be my Frankie dearest,” Gee replies with a giggle.  
  
Frank rolls his eyes at Gee’s comment. “We’ll put some in the front seat.”  
  
“What am I, a taxi service?” Ray questions rhetorically. “Seriously, remind me again why you two don’t drive one of your cars to meet the bus.”  
  
“We can’t leave that many cars parked in the studio parking lot for over a week. You know that,” Gee reminds him.  
  
“Fine. You _girls_ come get your crap in my car so we can go.”  
  
Without much more talking, Frank and Gee get their stuff added to Ray’s in his car. Once all the stuff is in, Gee locks the door to his house and piles up in the backseat of the car with Frank under Pansy’s case.  
  
As Ray backs out of the driveway, Gee leans over to kiss Frank, but Ray cuts him off before he can.  
  
“Nah-ah, not in my car! You two are free to do whatever you want to each other, just not in my car… or in my sight, for that matter. I’ma get enough of the lovey-dovey stuff from the two of you this trip already.”  
  
“Whatever you say, Fro-mond,” Frank retorts.  
  
“And don’t call me ‘Fro-mond’.”  
  
“Someone’s not happy or cheery this morning,” Gee muses in Frank’s direction. Frank giggles, trying hard not to belly laugh.  
  
“I heard that,” Ray claims. Frank can no longer stifle his giggles and bursts out in full laughter. “Maybe you are _too_ happy this morning.”  
  
The rest of the short drive to the record label’s office is mostly quiet. Only Frank’s and Gee’s intermittent stifled giggles break the silence. By the time they reach the parking lot, Ray is ready to be out of the car away from the two lovers and dreads having to spend weeks on the bus with them. He nearly jumps from the car before it stops.  
  
Mikey walks towards the car. “You okay there, Ray?”  
  
“No! Just take a look at the two damn love birds in my back seat!” He shutters visably. “They won’t stop giggling or touching each other… _in my car!_ ”  
  
“They’re just excited is all,” Mikey calmly states.  
  
“That’s what I said,” Frank calls from the other side of the car, “but Fro-mond didn’t listen to me, so I’m sure he’s not gonna listen to you either.”  
  
“Can’t a guy be happy about marrying one of his best friends?” Gee questions as he hugs his younger brother.  
  
“I would think I’d be pretty happy if I were marrying a best friend… of the female species, that is,” Mikey replies.  
  
Ray rolls his eyes playfully. “Fine. Take their side. We’ll see how long you can handle their sickening lovey-dovey touchy crap.” He smiles at Mikey and pats him on the shoulder. “I bet you can’t make it a whole day with them in that bus.”  
  
“I bet I can. I’ve been dealing with them for the last two weeks. A day is a walk in the park for me.”  
  
“We’ll see. They’re extra annoying today.”  
  
At the same time, Frank and Gee stick out their tongues like children at Ray and then make a big production of kissing each other. Mikey just chuckles at them and begins loading his stuff into the bus.


	58. Just You And I, Your Starless Eyes Remain

A small breeze of warm wind blows the white bows tied to the aisle seats and the mock alter. The priest stands before the quickly growing crowd of the few family and friends that have been invited. The flowers of the autumn colored bouquets and the fall leaves soak up the warm rays of sun beaming down in the park.  
  
“It’s a beautiful day for a wedding, isn’t it, Mom?” Frank voices with emotions evident as he stands inside his small tent.  
  
Linda turns to look at her son, her eyes glinting with the tears of her happiness threatening to fall down her cheeks. Her only child, her baby boy, is marrying the man of his dreams today.  
  
“It sure is, Sweetheart,” she replies as she pulls Frank into an embrace. “It sure is a beautiful day.”  
  
Linda brushes imaginary lint from the shoulders of Frank’s tuxedo.  
  
“Mom, would you pin my boutonniere on for me? I want it to be straight.”  
  
“Of course, Dear.” Linda takes the single white rosebud boutonniere from Frank and begins positioning it on Frank’s lapel.  
  
“I’m not nervous, Mom. I'm just very excited. Shouldn’t I be nervous?”  
  
“Not necessarily, Frankie,” replies Linda in an affectionate, motherly tone. “If you know Gerard is right for you and you trust you are doing the right thing, why should you be nervous or anxious about it?”  
  
“Because all you hear about is how nervous people are on their wedding day, and I’m not at all. I can’t wait to be ‘Frank Anthony Iero-Way.’”  
  
Linda smiles, a tear finally escaping her eyelashes.  
  
“Oh, Mom,” Frank quickly grabs a tissue from his mother’s purse and dabs her cheek, “you’re going to ruin your makeup.”  
  
Linda can’t stop a giggle. Even on _his_ wedding day, Frank is concerned with everyone else. Linda pins the boutonniere in place and puts a hand on either of Frank’s cheeks.  
  
“You’re going to be a wonderful husband to Gerard, Sweetheart.”  
  
“And Gerard’s going to take good care of Frank, Linda,” states Ray as he steps into the small tent they are in.  
  
“I know he’ll take good care of my boy. He has so far.”  
  
“How’s Gee doing over there in his tent?” Frank asks.  
  
“Same as you. His mom is nearly in tears too. Mikey’s about to walk her to her seat, which is why I’m here. I need to take Linda to her seat as well.”  
  
“Oh, one more hug before I go?”  
  
“Sure, Mom.”  
  
Linda embraces her son tightly once again, whispering in his ear, “I love you so much, and I am so proud of you!” After a moment, she releases Frank, grabs her purse, and goes to take Ray’s extended arm.  
  
“I’ll be back shortly,” Ray calls out right before him and Linda exit the temporary shelter.  
  
Frank is left alone. He wishes he had a mirror so he could check to make sure he looks alright. Then his thoughts lead him to Gee, who is just yards away doing the very same thing Frank is doing, sitting alone and reflecting. The thought of Gee brings a soft smile to Frank’s lips. He imagines Gee is filled with nerves about now, but Frank is okay with that.  
  
Suddenly Ray reemerges into the tent. “You and Gee are meeting at the back of the aisle and not the front, right?”  
  
“Right.”  
  
“Well, it’s about time.” Ray pats Frank on the shoulder.  
  
“What? No hug?” Ray laughs and hugs Frank.  
  
“Congratulations, Frank.”  
  
“Thanks, man.”  
  
“But this doesn’t give you a free pass to fuck in the bus all the time,” Ray jokes. Frank just laughs in response.  
  
Ray hears the priest, Father Abrams, call him from outside. He sticks his head out.  
  
“We’re ready for you two to come out,” the elder says.  
  
“Thank you, Father,” Ray replies and then brings his head back inside the tent door. “You ready?”  
  
“More than ever! You got Gee’s ring?”  
  
“In my pocket.” Ray pats his chest.  
  
“Then let’s go.”  
  
Ray and Frank step out into the sunlight. A string quartet begins playing soft music as Father Abrams makes his way to the front of the alter.  
  
All Frank can see is Ray’s fro and back at first. Mikey follows the priest down the aisle and takes his place as Gee’s best man. Then it’s Ray’s turn to take his place as Frank’s best man.  
  
As Ray steps towards the aisle, Frank finally sees Gee. His face is a mixture of anxiety and excitement. Frank takes a step forward, and their eyes meet. Suddenly, Gee’s face drains of all his anxiety.  
  
The quartet stops playing for a moment then begins playing Pachelbel’s Canon in D. The two step forward, and Frank takes Gee’s arm in his.  
  
“You look gorgeous,” he whispers to Gee.  
  
“So do you, Sugar.”  
  
Frank can’t stop himself from allowing his lips to curl up into a tooth-bearing grin.  
  
 _It’s a perfect day for a wedding,_ Gee thinks.


	59. It All Comes Down to This

“Friends and family, we are all gathered together today to witness Frank and Gerard join themselves together in marriage today,” begins Father Abrams. Father Abrams is the only Catholic priest willing to officiate the marriage of two men. “When these two approached me about marrying them, I was hesitant due to the positions of the Catholic church on same sex marriages. But the longer I thought about it, the more I thought that nothing should stand in the way of the love these two have shown me they have for each other. They have proven to me multiple times their care and commitment to each other.”  
  
One of the mothers lets out a soft sob.  
  
“I have presided over many weddings over the years, and today I am proud to stand before you joining these two men together. Before I continue, I must ask, does anyone have any reason to object to the marriage of Frank Iero and Gerard Way?”  
  
Negative murmurs flow from the crowd gathered in the park.  
  
“As the guys have requested, this will not be a long and drawn out traditional service. They have written their own vows, and I will let them begin. Gerard?”  
  
Gerard takes a deep breath and gazes longingly into Frank’s face. “I don’t know why I resisted you for so long. In you I have found the partner I have always dreamed of, without even knowing it. You emit outwardly the passion I have for our life so strongly. You love me for who I am, for my strengths as well as my weaknesses. You make me want to better myself so you can have a better person to spend the rest of your life with. You have taught me what it’s like to be unconditionally loved. Today I vow before God, Father Abrams, and all our friends and family gathered here to faithfully serve you as my husband, and I vow to bind myself to you lawfully for the rest of our natural lives.” Gerard places a soft kiss on Frank’s lips. Sniffles can be heard throughout the crowd.  
  
“Frank?” Father Abrams prompts. Frank nods softly and swallows the emotions he’s trying to keep under control.  
  
“Gerard,” Frank voices breaks. He takes a deep, steadying breath and tries again. “Gerard, I have always dreamed of today. Somehow I have always known we should be together. From the very first time I heard your lyrics, I knew you were someone special, someone to aspire to be. Today, I finally have everything I could every dream of, in you. You are my best friend, my band mate, my lover, and now in just a few moments, my husband. I am honored that you would allow me the opportunity to show you how deeply I care for you. I am honored that you would stand beside me through all life has to offer us. I vow now to be the best husband I can be to you, to continue to love you unconditionally, to always be faithful to you, for as many days as I have left to draw breath.”  
  
This time, both mothers sob quietly as the sniffling continues from the crowd.  
  
“Gerard Way, do you take Frank Iero to be your lawfully wedded husband?”  
  
“I do.”  
  
“And do you, Frank Iero, take Gerard Way to be your lawfully wedded husband?”  
  
“I do.” An impish little grin takes over Frank’s lips, as he has longed to say those two words far too long.  
  
Father Abrams continues, “The wedding ring is a symbol. It symbolizes the love of these two, no beginning and no end. It also symbolizes their life together, a circle unable to be broken into parts again. Michael, the ring?”  
  
Mikey reaches into his breast pocket and produces Frank’s ring. Father Abrams takes it and passes it to Gee.  
  
“Gerard, as you place this ring on Frank’s finger, please repeat after me: Frank, with this ring, I thee wed.”  
  
“Frank,” Gee’s voice waivers, “with this ring I thee wed.”  
  
Father Abrams continues, “Like this ring, this vow can never be broken.”  
  
“Like this ring, this vow can never be broken.”  
  
“Ray, the other ring?”  
  
Ray does the same as Mikey and hands the ring he is carrying to Father Abrams. Father Abrams places the ring in Frank’s palm.  
  
“Frank, as you place this ring on Gerard’s finger, please repeat after me: Gerard, with this ring, I thee wed.”  
  
A tear of joy slides down Frank’s cheek, a soft smile on his lips. “Gerard, with this ring, I thee wed. _Finally_.”  
  
A few people giggle, including Ray and Mikey.  
  
“Like this ring, this vow can never be broken,” prompts Father Abrams.  
  
“Like this ring,” Frank voice catches a little, but he continues, “this vow can never be broken.”  
  
“As these two stand before us professing their love and dedication to each other, we as friends and family should encourage them in their new life as one. We should support them and love them more than we have before. It is not often one finds true love, and I believe these two have found that in each other. For what has been joined here together today should not be broken by any man, for in the eyes of God these two are now forever joined together until death.” Father Abrams places a hand on either of their shoulders. “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss.”  
  
Tears fall freely down Frank’s cheeks as Gerard slides his hand across his cheek and around the back of his neck, pulling Frank into him so delicately. Frank lean his head forwards, and their lips brush slightly. Gerard does not resist; he presses his lips to Frank’s firmly, allowing his tongue to shallowly enter Frank’s mouth. The crowd erupts into cheers, the mothers dabbing their eyes with tissue while the fathers look on proudly at their sons.  
  
Too soon, the kiss ends and both turn, hand in hand, and face the crowd.  
  
Father Abrams address the crowd for the last time, “I am proud to be the first to introduce you to Mr. and Mr. Iero-Way.”


	60. As Rice Grains and Roses Fall at Your Feet

The string quartet has retired, and a DJ now plays a mix of alternative and punk rock, the only appropriate music to play at the wedding reception of two members of a rock band. Everyone is mingling together awaiting the arrival of the two grooms. Frank and Gee have taken their first few moments as a married couple to a private area.  
  
Arms wrapped around each other, they stand just looking contently at each other.  
  
“I love you, Mr. Iero-Way,” breathes Frank.  
  
“I love you more, Mr. Iero-Way,” replies Gee before placing a sultry kiss on Frank’s lips. “And I can’t wait to get you in our honeymoon suite later.”  
  
A seductive glint fills Frank’s eyes. “Me neither.”  
  
“Lovely ceremony. Are you two going to start the honeymoon night early?” interrupts Katrina, the event planner keeping the reception on schedule. Frank blushes.  
  
“We’re coming,” Gee giggles and then places one last peck on Frank’s lips.  
  
Katrina smirks at them. “I’ll let the DJ know to introduce you now, if you’ll follow me that is.”  
  
Frank can’t take his eyes off Gee, regardless that he’s addressing Katrina. “Do we have to?”  
  
“I have to keep this thing going, don’t I? It’s what you’re paying me to do after all.”  
Frank finally manages to pull his gaze towards her.  
  
“Fine,” he groans. Gee leans forward and nibbles slightly on Frank’s earlobe and then just giggles. A shiver runs through Frank.  
  
The two follow the event planner to their entrance of the reception tent. Katrina slides in and heads off for the DJ’s booth. Holding an innocent affect, Gee runs his hand down the back of Frank’s tux and over his ass, giving it a light squeeze.  
  
“If you don’t stop that,” moans Frank, “I’m going to have to rape you right here in front of everybody.”  
  
“It’s not rape if I want you to do it,” Gee quickly quips back.  
  
Suddenly the music stops and the DJ begins his announcement. “Please welcome Mr. and Mr. Gerard and Frank Iero-Way.” The crowd begins clapping wildly. Arm in arm, the newly married couple makes their way into the tent. The gathered family and friends’ cheers grow louder.  
  
Proud and unashamed, Gerard and Frank bask in everyone’s approval. Gerard takes a microphone from Katrina, and eventually the din dies down.  
  
“Thank you all so much for sharing this special day with us.”  
  
Frank pulls the microphone closer to himself. “And thanks for all the support you all have shown us.”  
  
Gerard continues, “Please have a great time tonight. If we don’t get a chance to speak to each and every one of you, please know we love you all!” Everyone claps again, and Gerard passes the microphone back to Katrina, who gives them both a thumbs up. The pair begins to make their way to their awaiting parents. Both mothers practically pounce on their respective new son.  
  
“We love you so much,” cries Donna.  
  
“And we’re so proud of you,” wails Linda.  
  
“Mooom,” both Frank and Gerard call out.  
  
“Ladies,” Donald steps in. “Let them breathe at least.” The mother’s loosen their grip. “Congrats, boys,” Donald addresses them as he shakes each one’s hand.  
  
“Thanks, Dad.”  
  
The rest of the evening is a whirlwind of faces for the guys. There is lots of hugging and crying from all those in attendance. Occasionally the two steal a moment to kiss each other softly before speaking to the next person. Finally, Frank spots Katrina, and both quickly make their way to her to bid her good night. She takes the hint and begins gathering the remaining friends and family outside the tent into the orange hue the setting sun is casting.  
  
As Gee and Frank make their way out of the tent, they are showered with rice grains and red rose petals. Some even make it into the back of the limo as they climb into it to make their getaway.  
  
Once inside the limo, Frank can no longer contain himself. He climbs over Gee’s lap, straddling it, and smashes his lips into Gee’s. Gee welcomes the kiss by wrapping his hands around Frank’s ass and pulling their hips closer together. Frank begins dry humping Gee as his hands start pulling at Gee’s belt buckle.  
  
Gee giggles. “Not in the car, Sugar. We have the rest of our lives to do that now.”  
  
“But I can’t wait!”  
  
“The hotel is literally right around the corner, though. By the time I got inside of you, we’d be there.”  
  
Just then the car pulls to a stop outside the hotel.  
  
“Aw! Fine then.” Frank slides off Gerard’s lap right as the limo driver opens his door.  
  
Gee tips the driver and thanks him for bringing in their luggage as Frank tries to drag him into the hotel. Frank finally manages to get Gee into the hotel lobby and up to the check-in desk. A young lady wearing a name tag that reads “Kristen” stands behind the counter.  
  
“We have a reservation,” states Gee.  
  
“Your name?” Kristen inquires.  
  
“Iero-Way.”  
  
“It’s our honeymoon night,” Frank interjects, his mouth practically drooling.  
  
Kristen’s face blushes bright red as she actually looks at the guys for the first time. “Well, congratulations.” She fiddles behind the counter for a short moment. “Here are your keys. You’ll be in room 182. That’s to the right and down at the end of the hall.”  
  
“Thank you,” replies Gee.  
  
“Enjoy your stay with us, Mr. and Mr. Iero-Way.”  
  
“We will, very much so!” breathes Frank seductively. The clerk’s face turns a deeper shade of red. All Gee can do is giggle in response. He knows all too well that Frank is very right.  
  
“May I say something?” asks Kristen.  
  
“As long as it’s quick. I am about to be raped in your lobby here, if you haven’t already noticed,” quips Gee.  
  
“I’m a huge fan of your band.” This statement causes Frank to freeze in his spot with fear of Gee’s reaction. “I am so happy for you. And I promise to not tell a soul until I see it in the gossip column.” Frank looks back and forth between who he now notices is just a girl, probably still in her teens, and Gee.  
  
Gee smiles politely at her, and then he shocks Frank nearly to death. “Thank you. And you’re welcome to tell your friends. We are making a public announcement tomorrow night at our next show anyway.”  
  
If Frank wasn’t close to taking Gee in the middle of public before, he sure as hell is now.  
  
“May I have a hug? I mean, if you don’t mind a blubbering fan interrupting your honeymoon.”  
  
“Of course, Kristen.” Kristen’s face lights up. Frank glares at her as she comes around the desk for her requested hug, not a bit amused that she is postponing his honeymoon enjoyment.


	61. Tomorrow We'll Do It Again

“So you really don’t care if she’s out in the lobby calling every person she’s _ever_ known to tell them about us?” inquires Frank as they hurriedly tote their luggage to their room.  
  
“There’s no way it will reach the tabloids before we announce it tomorrow, Frankie. Plus, no, I don’t care. I married you today because I don’t care what other people think of _us_ anymore.” They reach room 182. Gee slides his credit card looking room key into the slot, unlocking the door, and opens the door just a crack. He turns to squarely face Frank. “I only care about you… and us.” He opens the door all the way. “Should I carry you in?”  
  
“I think I can manage, considering I’m not exactly a blushing _bride_ ,” Frank jokes, the hint of seduction returning to his voice finally.  
  
“Then after you…” Gee follows Frank into the room. While only a modest room, Gee opted for a king sized bed when he made the reservation. He piles the luggage up next to the small dresser, leaving it completely forgotten for the time being. Frank is wasting no time and has already begun to remove his shoes.  
  
Gee walks up behind him and pulls Frank’s willing body against his. With experienced movements, his hands slide around front of Frank and begin undoing Frank’s tuxedo trousers. Frank’s hand reaches behind him and rests on Gee’s hip, a soft sound escaping his throat. Once unfastened, Gee allows Frank’s pants to fall into a crumpled pile around Frank’s ankles. Frank turns and runs his hand up the front of Gee’s ruffled shirt.  
  
“I love you so much,” Frank breathes. Frank’s hand slides on up to Gee’s cheek, and their lips meet in a soft kiss. As soon as the kiss is broken, Frank goes to work on quickly undressing Gee. Gee watches Frank adeptly removing his clothes, happy to be free from the now restrictive garments. When Frank finishes, Gee is left in only his socks.  
  
“No fair,” jests Gee. “You still have part of your clothes on.” Frank gives an impish grin as he drops his shirt onto the floor next to his pants.  
  
“Better?”  
  
“Nah-uh,” Gee mumbles as he closes the small space between them. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of Frank’s boxers and slides them over Frank’s hips, letting them fall the same as his trousers earlier. “Now it’s better.” Frank can’t hold onto a seductive giggle.  
  
Gee playfully pushes Frank, and he falls gracefully onto the bed. Before Frank has settled onto the bed, Gee is already climbing up on top of Frank.  
  
“Forgetting something?” Frank asks.  
  
Gee groans and breaks skin contact getting off Frank. He fumbles through the toiletries bag and returns to the bed. “Who’s first?” he asks as he flips open the retrieved tube of lube.  
  
“You.” The two switch places on the bed, Gee now on the bottom with Frank over top of him. Frank takes the lube from Gee and begins to squeeze some out onto his fingers.  
  
“No prep today.”  
  
“What?” Frank hesitates. “Gee, you’ve never taken me without me prepping you first.”  
  
“So? I don’t ever prep you.”  
  
“But… but, Gee, I… I’m used to it, and… and you’re gonna be hurting in the morning.”  
  
“Like I said, so? I won’t mind.” Frank looks at Gee questioningly for a moment. Gee just nods his head at him. Frank looks at the lube on his fingertips, Gee’s ass, and then back to Gee’s gaze. “I’ll be fine, promise.”  
  
Frank takes Gee word for it, and rubs the lube on himself. He positions himself up against Gee’s entrance and pushes in just ever so much. Gee grimaces just slightly, but nods for Frank to continue. Frank gingerly pushes himself all the way into Gee. Frank moans softly at how tight Gee is without any prep, but he doesn’t start moving his hips just yet.  
  
Gee doesn’t care about the discomfort, though. It’s not nearly as bad as their first time together, so he begins moving under Frank.  
  
“I’m fine, see?” he whispers at Frank. Frank hesitates no longer. He withdraws slightly and pushes back in. This time Gee doesn’t grimace but moans. Frank lowers himself to be chest to chest with Gee, continuing to move in and out of him. Gee places his hands on Frank’s small hips and urges him to move faster.  
  
“Gee, you’re gonna feel—”  
  
“I know, feel it later,” Gee interrupts. “I’ve heard that before. But I’m used to feeling it later now. It’s not our first time, remember?” Frank can’t stop a grin from growing on his face. He begins pushing into Gee harder and faster. Gee arches his back slightly, the pain all but gone. Frank changes angles just slightly, and a sudden wave of warmth and pleasure cascades over Gee, catching his breath. Frank halts his movements just as quickly. Gee tries to slow his erratic breathing.  
  
“Wha-what was that?” he questions aloud.  
  
“What was what?” Frank asks nervously, afraid he’d hurt Gee.  
  
“A wave of something that felt like an orgasm, but I know I haven’t cum yet.” Frank smirks and moves his hips just slightly. Gee’s breath catches again.  
  
“That?” All Gee can do is shake his head affirmatively. Frank chuckles just softly. “I’ve never hit _that_ spot before?”  
  
“No,” Gee whimpers, finally catching his breath enough to speak. “What spo—” Frank moves his hips again. Gee’s back arches violently. “OH MY GOD!” he gasps.  
  
Frank loves what he can do to Gee. He begins moving his hips slowly, making sure to continue stimulating Gee’s sweet spot. Gee gasps and cries out in pleasure with each move Frank makes inside of him. With the added sensation inside of his abdomen, Gee can’t hold on any longer, his member erupting it white juices.  
  
Frank changes his angle again to offer Gee a reprieve as he brings his own self to orgasm. Burying himself deep inside of Gee, he fills Gee with his own cum.  
  
Frank collapses onto Gee, both of their chests heaving heavily. They lay in silence until their breathing and heart rate resumes a more normal rate. Frank finally rolls off of Gee.  
  
“What was that?” Gee questions. Frank chuckles.  
  
“That is called a ‘g-spot,’ no pun intended. It’s the backside of your prostate. It's hard to find and get to sometimes.”  
  
“Wow! That was just… just incredible!”  
  
“I know it is. That’s why I kept hitting it once I found it.”  
  
Gee snuggles Frank close. “ _You’re_ incredible.” He kisses Frank softly. “Oh, I have something for us.” Gee suddenly gets up off the bed.  
  
He goes to the piles of luggage and rummages through so bags. He pulls out a green glass bottle and two plastic stemware cups. He waves it at Frank. Frank’s face sours quickly at the sight.  
  
“I’m not trying to be a buzz-kill here, but, Gerard… alcohol?!” Gee laughs at Frank’s face. He turns the bottle so the label faces Frank.  
  
“No, not alcohol. It’s sparkling grape juice. I’m not _that_ stupid.” Frank sits up on the bed.  
  
“I never called you stupid! I never even _thought_ it!”  
  
Gee walks back over to the bed and sit down next to Frank. “Good,” he states as he begins unwrapping the top of the bottle. He gets the twist off lid off the bottle and pours some in both plastic cups. He picks up both glasses, handing on to Frank. “Then I propose a toast. To us?”  
  
“To us…” Frank repeats. “And our new life together.” Both clink their glasses together and take a sip of the carbonated red grape juice.  
  
“You wanna order some room service while we recoup for round two?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m starvin’,” Frank replies with a wink.


	62. I'll Kiss Your Lips Again

The food brought up by room services has been eaten, and the trolley is forgotten. Gee and Frank lay in the bed still naked and snuggled up close to each other under the blankets. Occasionally one will steal a kiss from the other. Gee’s hand runs up and down Frank’s side in a chaste fashion.  
  
“Wanna shower?” Gee breaks the comfortable silence.  
  
“Sure,” coos Frank.  
  
Lazily the two climb out of the bed and head for the bathroom. Gee starts the water running while Frank gathers their toiletries bag. By the time Frank gets into the bathroom, Gee is climbing into the shower. Frank follows closely behind him. Gee allows Frank under the stream of hot water first.  
  
“Ah, that feels so good,” Frank murmurs. Gee grabs the shampoo and pours a little into his palm. Then he begins lathering Frank’s hair. “You don’t have to wash me. I’m not incapacitated this time ‘round.”  
  
“I know. I just want to,” answers Gee. “I can’t keep my hands off of my new husband.”  
  
A soft grin curls Frank’s lips. Frank closes his eyes, enjoying Gee rinsing his hair and then washing the rest of his body. Gee scrupulously makes sure he washes every inch of Frank, taking in Frank’s immense beauty as he does so. To Gee’s dismay, Frank is eventually as clean as he can get, and Gee must stop washing him. Gee takes the opportunity to press his lips to Frank’s, and Frank is happy to oblige. What starts out as a soft kiss quickly turns heated and fervent. Gee runs his hands down Frank’s back, stopping them just at the top edge of Frank’s ass cheeks.  
  
“Let’s go back to the bed,” Gee mutters seductively.  
  
With a soft tone, Frank replies, “But I haven’t washed you yet.”  
  
“I think we’ll need another shower later.”  
  
The pair quickly turn the shower off and half dry off. They jog towards the bed hand in hand and giggling. Gee pushes Frank down on the bed, his back side up. Frank splays himself out spread eagle, eager to have Gee inside of him. Gee wastes no time lubing himself up and climbing atop Frank’s naked body. He pushes himself inside of Frank. Frank hums approvingly.  
  
Gee plants small kisses across Frank’s shoulder blades as he begins slowly thrusting in and out of Frank. Frank’s hands grasp the bedsheet, his knuckles turning a shade of white. Frank pushes his ass back against Gee. Subconsciously Gee increases the speed of his thrusting, a moan slipping past his lips.  
  
Gee slides his hands down Frank’s extended arms and over Frank’s hands. Frank lets go of the bedsheet and intertwines his fingers with Gee’s. Gee softly lays his head on the nape of Frank’s neck, never ceasing the movements of his hips.  
  
“Harder,” Frank gasps out. With little leverage from his position atop Frank, Gee does his best to accommodate Frank’s request without having to let go of Frankie’s hands. Gee is enjoying the feel of the wedding ring on Frank’s finger in his hand. Somehow he manages to pump harder and deeper into Frank’s ass.  
  
Frank beings writhing under Gee. Fearing Frank can’t breathe under his weight, Gee stops thrusting and lifts himself off Frank’s small body.  
  
“I wanna turn over so I can see you,” Frank murmurs. Gee pulls out and allows Frank to turn over. As soon as Frank is on his back, Gee pushes back inside of him, their hands instantly find the other’s again. Frank watches Gee like he’s never been under Gee during sex before. He loves the way Gee’s eyes are barely open and his mouth hangs half agape. Frank loves the soft sounds Gee emits when he’s so fully aroused and the sounds of Gee’s erratic breathing.  
  
“I wish this moment could last forever,” Frank voices his thought aloud.  
  
Gee concentrates on looking directly at Frank, using the remaining part of his effort to smile contently at him. “Me too,” he breathes back.  
  
For some time, the two bodies continue to move together in synchrony. Gee presses his lips to Frank’s as he feels his impending orgasm begin. He thrusts deep into Frank and allows the waves of pleasure to overcome his body. Once slightly recovered, he pulls out of Frank and slides himself down Frank’s body. Knowing Frank is close to his own climax, Gee begins to suck on Frank’s hard member. Frank moans throatily at the attention he is now receiving. He slides one of his hands over the top of Gee’s head and allows it to rest there. Gee runs his tongue over Frank’s slit. Frank grunts loudly as he suddenly fills Gee’s mouth with his salty seed.  
  
Never having cum in Gee’s mouth before, Frank fears how Gee will react. Without hesitation, Gee swallows the load and then kisses the tip of Frank’s pulsating member. Frank sighs softly to himself.  
  
Gee returns to his place close to the side of Frank’s body, and pulls the covers up over them. “I love you,” he whispers to Frank. “More than ever.”  
  
A sloppy grin adorns Frank’s features. “I love you too,” Frank whispers back before allowing their mouths to meet once again. This time the kiss is more intimate and less rushed. Some time passes while the two just enjoy each other’s kisses. Bodies and mouths spent, the kisses finally subside.  
  
“So are you ready to announce us to the world tomorrow?” questions Frank.  
  
“I can’t wait. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”


	63. Until the End of Everything

All of the guys are standing at stage right. The warm-up act has just left the stage, and the lights have gone off. The crowd is screaming as usual. Gee moves to stand beside Frank, and he slides his hand down into Frank’s. Frank gives Gee’s hands a small squeeze. Together, hand in hand, Gee and Frank head out on stage. Unwillingly, the two let go of each other’s hand to take their places on stage.  
  
“Are you guys ready to rock?” Gee shouts into the microphone as the lights come back up. The horde of fans roars. Without delay, the guys start the first song of the playlist. Gee and Frank don’t care if the crowd sees them looking at each other often; they are about to make everything official to the fans anyway. Gee is happy with that.  
  
As the music continues on, Gee gets lost in thought, mindlessly singing the lyrics that are by now second nature to him. He thinks about how long of a journey it’s been since that first fateful show where he kissed Frank. He thinks about all the struggles they have been through on the road to becoming husband and husband. He thinks about just how close he came to losing Frank only a month ago. He turns to look at Frank. Frank is jumping around on the stage, happier than he has ever been. Gee smiles to himself as he casually strolls over to where Frank is.  
  
The song ends. Gee places his lips close to Frank’s ear.  
  
“You sure?” is all he asks, but he knows Frank understands.  
  
“Baby, if you’re ready, then I’m sure.”  
  
Gee places a hidden kiss behind Frank’s ear, then turns to look at Mikey and Ray. Both know what is about to come out of Gee’s mouth, and both nod their heads at Gee in approval. Gee smiles contently and turns to face the crowd.  
  
He steps up to the edge of the stage.  
  
“I have some exciting news for all of you in attendance tonight. We as a band are stepping up our stance against homophobia.” A few people scream, but the majority of the crowd waits in anticipation, hanging on Gee’s every word. “This has not been the easiest thing to bring myself to tell you, so I hope… _we_ hope that you’ll take this news well.” The mass of people roar in agreement.  
  
“Some of you might have noticed this small band of gold around my finger tonight.” He holds his hand up, presenting his wedding band to the crowd. The crowd screams. “Well, I have recently gotten _legally_ married. It has been a long road getting to this point.” The fangirls all scream. Frank slowly starts to make his way towards Gee, just as they had talked about before the show. “And luckily,” Gee continues, “you all happen to know my new spouse quite well.” The din of the crowd continues to buzz; some of the attendees have figured it out and are just awaiting confirmation. “I’m sure some of you probably think you know who this mystery person is already.” Frank finally makes his way up to be completely beside Gee. Gee wraps his arm around Frank’s back, placing his hand in the small of it. “Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce to you my _husband_ , Frank Iero-Way!”  
  
The crowd goes crazy. Slowly, someone stars chanting “Let’s see Frerard. Let’s see Frerard.” It quickly catches on with the other people in attendance. As quickly as a wildfire spreads, so does the chanting amongst the multitude. Gee and Frank both turn to look at Mikey and Ray. Ray is just smiling like an idiot while Mikey just grins and shrugs his shoulders. Gee and Frank look to each other simultaneously.  
  
“You knew they were gonna want it,” Frank quietly says to Gee.  
  
“So? We gonna give it to them?”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
Even Gee’s eyes are smiling as he leans down towards Frank. Both of them allow their eyes to slide shut as their lips make contact. Drowning out the din of the crowd, both kiss each other softly and passionately. The crowd screams as loud as ever, and hundreds of flashbulb capture the moment in My Chemical Romance history. Frank slowly breaks the kiss.  
  
He reaches for Gee’s microphone. “Now can we get back to the show, Baby?” he jest. Gee place a quick kiss on Frank’s cheek.  
  
“I suppose we should. Don’t you guys think so?” Gee asks the crowd. The crowd goes crazy once again as the music for the next song begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is rather short, but I just couldn't find it in myself to change it once I had written it. It seemed like the right ending to me.
> 
> To everyone who has read this entire fic on this site, a huge THANK YOU!! This was actually my very first fic I ever wrote. It you'd like to read more of my writing, I have several other stories posted on here (just click on my username). The one titled "Hello? Journal? It's me, Frank." is my newest story I am writing. It is a Frerard story told through the journal entries of Frank Iero. I currently have 34 chapter of it written (with 18 posted on here), and I am quickly figuring out that it is going to be a LONG fic!
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading!!


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